Hi there, would love to hear how you're getting on bunny L.

My 9 month old DS has in the past been able to self settle but now cries as soon as I put him in cot before I even leave the room. He rolls over to a crawl and ends up sitting up howling. We are now feeding or rocking him to sleep and putting him in the cot asleep just to avoid the howling.

He is also waking several times a night and I more often than not breastfeed him back to sleep, just cos I know it will work, I don't think he's hungry.

Really tired, any advice greatly received. Back to work soon and not looking forward to office life as a zombie!

Many thanks.

Hi BunnyLebowski,
How's it going now?

BR

Fantastic! That's great news.

Brilliant! Well done.

Hello ladies! Just to let you know how we got on last night.

She fell asleep at 20.30pm on the boob. We put her down, had a lovely glass of wine and a chat and went to bed at 10.30pm.

She stirred at about midnight and I have to admit I fed her but the reason for doing this was that one of my boobs was really engorged and painful and I needed her help!

So fed her in her room in the dark with no talking. Put her back down and she went straight to sleep.

She stirred again at 3am and DP went in and shushed her (without picking her up) - she fell back asleep in 5 mins!

She woke up properly at 7am!

Not bad for a first night eh? Will keep going and tonight will refrain from feeding and just try to get her back by shushing.

Just want to second Bunnyrabbit, try to keep bubba in her room - some nights it will be soooo tempting to bring her in to your room but honestly, once they can settle themselves, its much easier in the long term. My dd is now 2.5yrs and will still go through phases of not sleeping so well but overall, she'll now sing to herself if it takes her a while to go off. Essentially did everything bunnyrabbit has suggested.

It always helps to have a plan. Please don't be disheartened of your DD doesn't get it straight away. Likelyhood is she will not be a happy little bunny when she realises she is not going to be cuddled to sleep and there is no one around to get attention from.

It may take quite awhile to get her down (hours!) but from the sound of it this is what's been happeneing the last few nights anyway.

Just keep calm and don't panic. She is safe and loved and there is nothing wrong with her except for her nose is likely to be severely put out of joint. Just cuddle her close and try and keep her calm.

Good luck.

BR

Thanks so much for all the advice - I feel much better now I actually can see what we can to do fix it!

She does sleep in her own room but when she wakes in the night we have the bad habit of DP bringing her to me to feed (as I'm still half asleep!). Instead, tonight we're going to try the pick up and put down approach. If she really does need a feed I'll do it in her room.

Also when she's ready for bed this evening we're going to do as you suggest and put her down awake but sleepy.

Thanks again bunny (good name btw!). I feel much better equipped to deal with things now.
Will report back!

sorry for the v.long post!!

Hey don't be sorry! They don't come with a manual and even if they did it would be wrong 50% of the time. The little darlings love to lull you into a false sense of security and once you're there will change the goal posts everytime!!

I'm assuming from your replies that she sleeps in her own room.....

There are many methods people use. I personally think that once they are in their bedroom then that's where they should stay. So even if you have to go to them in the night, unless they're ill of course, IMO they don't leave the room. So once you've started tying to put her down, you have to keep calm and keep going.

I like pick up put down. Once DD has had her bath (or whatever her routine is) take her to her room and give her boob/bottle or cup in her bedroom. Put her to bed and if you like a mobile (I used them for both of my DSs) then put it on. She'll soon associate this with bedtime (which may lead to a bit of rebellion the first few times!!). Give her kisses/cuddles whatever but she should ideally be awake when she goes down. Leave the room. Here's where it comes down to personal taste: When/if she starts to cry. Count to 10/30/60 whatever you like. If it's not a winding down/I'm sleepy cry go in. Don't say anything or make eye contact. It's time for sleep not play or conversation. You can either pat her where she is or pick her up and hold/cudddle her until she's calm. Whichever you are happy with. When she has calmed down put her back in the cot, preferrably still awake, and start again.

Sounds simple but if she has spent 8 months being cuddled to sleep then it will take a little while for her to learn to self settle.

Don't be disheartened if you find that you spend quite awhile doing this the first night. It should get less the next and so on.

The idea is that she knows you are there, and you get to comfort her not leave her crying, but she learns to fall asleep in the cot.

Again this is all my opinion and my experience, others I'm sure will share their's with you too and you might find another method which suits you better.

TBH I am also quite happy to leave my monster to cry now and again mainly cos I can tell when it's a tantrem!!

As for the night feed, I think one thing at a time. See if you can teach her to self settle then it will be far less stressfull for all of you to try and drop the night feed.

How would you feel about putting her back in her own cot after the feed, or feeding her in her room?

BR