sleep training when noise is not an option? please help, feeling like this is ruining my life(36 Posts)
I know how dramatic I sound but dd2 has never slept well and it is making me depressed. Dd 1 has sn and I can't have her woken. And. We live in flats with a not very sympathetic neighbour.
She is 7.5 months and waking every two hours minimum with periods of every twenty mins screaming and sitting up. She keeps her eyes shut and doesn't stop till I feed her. Except in the twenty min phases where someones the dummy will do. She is same whether in my bed or in the cot.
Dh sleeps downstairs so I can safely put her in with me and so he doesn't wake her by snoring, I barely see him even in the evening as she rarely settles for long enough. This is ridiculous we are all shattered including her.
Yes I would go extreme. It's only a week. You can have bourbons (dairy free)...? It'll be like a mini health drive
Can you see another GP? One told me I couldn't have it after faffing about trying to work out the doses. It was obvious he couldn't do the maths another GP prescribed it no problem when ds was 12 weeks.
Thanks everyone, I think as she doesn't have much dairy yet it'd be ok short term anyway so will give it a go . Would I need to be extreme for me, ie no products (cakes!) With even small amounts of milk? I had milk intolerance as a baby which is why I think it's worth a try too.
Oh and just saw the gp who said she can only prescribe gaviscon. Dd1 had ranitidine at this age after having an ulcer so I know she could have it but that was prescribed by the hospital. I will try again with gaviscon but it didn't help before.
I agree re dairy & soya, no big deal cutting anything when they're mostly bf. It can take longer than a week to clear symptoms -
6 weeks or so I think - but hopefully you'd see a big improvement inside a week. Dietary changes are so much easier when they're working. Almond milk's nice in porridge, so is oat milk. There are more 'free from' products than ever in supermarkets now, Saino's & waitrose are especially good.
Cutting out dairy for a week isn't a big deal for a BF baby who's quite young. I would be careful with an older child who has less BM.
If she cuts it out she can present any change to the GP as further evidence. In my experience with both of my dc who are both intolerant which carried through to toddlerhood, GPs just dont understand until you point it out to them.
Yes agree OP the arching is classic symptom.
By the way, I wouldn't cut dairy - or anything - out of your baby's diet unless on the advice of your GP or a dietician.
The arching the back is typical for reflux. I'd definitely go back and bug your gp for something else.
No point doing later bedtime.
This baby sounds like she's got reflux. Tackle that and it will improve.
I would also so to GP and get ranitidine.
I agree with whoever said to put her to bed later. DD used to go to bed between 21-21:30 and would sleep roght through 12 hours, only occasionally waking around 3-4am.
I used to give her a 9oz bottle right before bed then sneek in around 11 before I went to bed and "sleep feed" her another 4-6oz. Maybe you could express and try this? Or maybe OH could do this and you go to bed afyer DD1 is down. Let hin deal wih the pre-sleep feed, putting LO down and then feed again before he sleeps.
If you went to bed at 8pm and he did that, even if she woke 2 hours later you'd have had 5 hours sleep.
Tonight is worse. She goes in cot ok then twenty mins or so wakes. screaming and arching her back. Can't get burps out of her except when I pick her up screaming she seems to choke. Bit worried now..
On second feed since 11pm when she went to bed. She obviously doesn't need the milk but was trying letting her feed immediately.can't feed every twenty mins though and she has been arching her back away. vAcant even put her in with me tonight as dh ishere
Sorry just read the post properly will try cutting it out of both our diets.
No cry sleep solution is going to be my night time reading. Kept her up this eve as have a friend staying and dd1 woke her up not long after bed so rather than sit up resettling dd2 and leaving my friend alone I just took her back downstairs. She actually wolfed down some porridge too so either it will help as she was hungry or it will make things worse due to dairy!
I think I will try getting rid of dairy although presumably that means me too. A week is easy enough though just to see.
I'm willing to bet its the silent reflux - the screaming means she's not happy.
Does she have dairy? I'd cut it out and you cut it out of your diet too. This can trigger silent reflux. Plus soya. Just try for a week. Also give her plain food - no onions, windy veg like peas or brocolli. No yogurts or cheese. No citrus. Just for a week. See what happens.
All the sleep training in the world won't help if she has silent reflux (been there with both!)
Increasing my DS's feeds during the day made no difference to him waking every 1-2 hours through the night and needing boob - she doesn't need the food so much as the sucking to get her through each sleep cycle.
I also recommend No Cry Sleep Solution. Hasn't worked any miracles, but we have started getting slightly longer stretches.
Thank you both.yes all very challenging and I have so much to get done which I keep messing up due to tiredness.
Problem with keeping her up is she gets so tired andends up beside herself down there just needing to sleep. But maybe I will rethink naps as when she did thAt at least she then slept a good few hours in a row.
Sorry you're going through this. Maybe try offering more breastfeeds in the day?
Can you help dd1 sleep better with maybe ambient white noise cd she can turn on or headphones or soundproofing her room?
Can you get any help in the day so that you can rest a bit? Life sounds extremely challenging for you at the moment.
Something I found helpful was to go gluten- & dairy-free while ds was bf a lot; he eats anything now at 4 but definitely reacted to those allergens as a baby. Diet changes can seem too hard when you're knackered though.
Funny I found my DD got v constipated on gaviscon. She had odd days of const with Ranitidjne so now I give her a few sips of cool boiled water after every meal, seems to help.
I know u feel she should be in bed at 7/8 but maybe she's not tired? If DH took her for a while then she might sleep deeper/longer if you put her to bed a bit later? Otherwise DH could always rock her and let her sleep in his arms/ on his lap for a bit downstairs while u sleep?
Funny me trying to give u advice as I'm at my wits end with my own sleep situation! Hope this helps a bit. Oh and don't worry about your neighbor, you can't help it if your baby cries whereas his loud music is optional!
Thanks missey Tried a nap today and no joy but she's now asleep in car seat so going to risk it and try and sleep now. I feel she needs to be in bed from 7 or 8 so we had stopped with dh having her downstairs while I slept but . Maybe we will 're thin k that. We had gaviscon too it made her worse.older dd got v constipated on ranitidine but . Maybe I need to go back to gp about it all.
Sounds like she may still have silent reflux, my DD has it too and I still give her Ranitidine for it which reduces stomach acid - did u ever get medication for your LO? I found Gaviscon pretty useless tbh but Ranitidine has definitely helped.
My DD also used to choke when she was lying down as bits of sick used to come up into her mouth. Sounds like your LO may have it too.
I'd see your GP, also try co-sleeping if u are comfortable with it, it really does minimise the disruption of night feeds.
I feel your pain on the lack of sleep, is there anyone who could take her for an hour or two in the day so u can sleep? Or could DH have her about 9ish after your eldest is in bed and h try and sleep for a bit then?
Sorry keep not answering properly. Naps are not that routined yet but hour and . Half usually in morn but sometimes after lunch depending on how bad the night was. Then on or two shorter half hour ish naps often those are in pram or car.
And for food she will let me spoon feed her a bit but mostly finger feeds herself I just chop up chicken or whatever we are having but lots of it goes o n the floor. I suspect s he does try to catch up on feeds at night she is very distractable and active so only feeds properly when tired.
Thanks yes I know what you mean missy I am too tired to do much and getting alternately depressed and anxious which is made worse by no energy to get out an do anything.
I would be very happy to d ok sleep training as for me it can't get worse but just had to make dd 1 go to school crying and exhausted as she was woken in the night too. So really can't risk more noise need less and quickly just hard to . Know how .
I wondered about the doctor as dh said today there must be something wrong. Like wonder about reflux as at one point she sat u p and burned an threw up. Other than that she's rarely sick and rarely burps but had reflux as a new born,think it was silent as she used to be same,no sick but would sound like she was drowning wit h in mins of being laid down.
Not sure about your last para but I think you're saying you have to let her feed herself with a spoon?
If that's the case I'd guess at 7.5 months she's not really capable of giving herself enough of the solid food at each sitting, and could well still be hungry.
As others have suggested, try co-sleeping and feed her at first sign of rooting/hunger. This means less crying and more sleep for both of you. At present my 6 month old feeds at 1, 4, 5 and wakes up at 6.
The NCSS sounds good but at present Im too tired to go through it!
Hope things get better for you.
It sounds though she's screaming a lot anyway, so maybe sleep training will be short term pain but long term gain. It certainly doesn't sound sustainable for much longer the way things are. I second the PP who said take them to the GP to rule out ears or something hidden that's making her unsettled at bedtime. What's her routine like? Is she reverse cycling a bit? HV told me at this age they are notorious for not eating enough in the day if they think they can fill up at night. It also sounds like she can't sleep without you feeding her, so the NCSS stuff will be useful for that.
Thanks for replies and sympathy! She is now very grumpy too and will no doubt follow me around screaming.
As for the neighbour he is a dj and we have had issues with him playing loud music at night before dd2 came along and he wasn't easy to deal with and dh probably should have taken my advice to not complain so much in view of the fact we were soon to have a baby!
I will read u on no cry solution thanks, she definately only sleeps when fed at night although will sleep better for dh patting her or rockingher occasionally.
Something needs to change,it can't get much worse than last night and we can't live like this. Night feeds wise Abby cat what you describe is what she does on a good night, or she sometimes would take a longer stretch 11-3 or 4 but that's not happening any more.
Food wise she's on 3 or four feeds a day but is distractable . She's on 3 meals a day and eats fairly well although won't let me feed her Mic h so am reliant on what she can feed herself mostly.
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