Crap sleep advice people have given you

(65 Posts)
CyrilSneers Tue 01-Jan-13 21:03:14

I constantly get generously given crap, unsolicited I may add, advice on how to get my 6mo ds to 'sleep through the night'. My mum insists Farley's Rusks are the key to a good night's sleep as "all babies eat rusks". She also says I should give him formula as breast milk "isn't enough for some babies" and that he should have no naps and stay up until we go to bed so he's "nice and tired". That's just a few nuggets of wisdom from my mother; don't even get me started on health visitors. I'm beginning to understand why people falsely clain their LOs are sleeping through: my heart drops when I hear the phrase "Have you tried...?" Or am I just an ungrateful cow?

munchkinmaster Fri 04-Jan-13 19:29:59

cyril
That last one would work I think

The one I always get is "she's got to learn"

What she is supposed to learn, I don't know, because whenever anyone says it it is literally all they say. What is it that she has to learn, exactly?

Calculus?
String theory?
Latin?
The names of all the pokemon?

I wish they'd tell me.

Anothercuppatea Fri 04-Jan-13 20:12:36

We've had all these too!
Let him scream for a bit
Have you tried the bath just before bed
Keep him up for ages so he's really tired - our parents generation are all convinced that that is the key!

Yep, had all of these. And if one more person tells me how Controlled Crying is the answer to every fucking problem i will kill them.

Stopped going to my local childrens centre last year after one of the support workers had me in tears because I was so exhausted and she was shouting at me because CC didn't work for us.

Nancy54 Fri 04-Jan-13 20:25:54

Yep had the lot too.

Potas, the clown confetti thing really made me laugh smile

lorisparkle Fri 04-Jan-13 20:36:59

I was told by one health visitors assistant when ds1 was only 5 weeks - just leave him to cry. a rather enlightened health visitor at 4 months suggested co-sleeping.

CyrilSneers Fri 04-Jan-13 22:10:05

Yeah, I've got one thanks Munchkin. Doesn't stop my ds being hungry unfortunately.

CyrilSneers Fri 04-Jan-13 22:14:11

Sorry Munchkin, just reread and thought you were telling me a routine would work. How defensive am I?!

KittyBreadfan Fri 04-Jan-13 22:17:16

Our dc2 isn't even a bad sleeper but whenever we mentioned that we were co sleeping we got all the "rod for your own back" comments. It was truly wonderful to tell them once we moved house and put dc2 in his own room he instantly started sleeping through the night by himself,having co slept up until a couple of weeks beforehand.
We were also "advised" by a couple of friends in their late twenties to put rusk/any biscuit in the milk. It was shocking, I thought that kind of nonsense was only spouted by the older generation! And the patronising tone.. "well what you want to do Kitty is dissolve some biscuits in the bedtime bottle. Makes it all thick so they don't wake up hungry in the night." There was a lot of nodding and smiling...

sweetkitty Fri 04-Jan-13 22:27:53

Had these all too by the time your on number four no one gives you advice anymore or your better at ignoring it.
IME

Formula does not make any difference
Solids do not make a difference
If cosleeping they will not be sleeping with you at age 5, you will not make a rid for your own back
CIO is just horrible and only teaches babies not to cry as no one will come to them anyway

Four of mine coslept for at least a year, breastfed on demand and even on 3 meals a day plus snacks wouldn't go for longer than 3 hours at night, it's tough now when you have a bad sleeper but all 4 sleep great now in their own beds, I cannot remember the last time one woke me up, it's usually me getting them up in the morning.

Their is light at the end of the sleep deprived tunnel

KatieLily12 Fri 04-Jan-13 22:56:34

I've noticed the advice often comes with 1 or both of the following: is she good? (She's too small to find her own nose but you think she is capable of controlling her eating and sleeping. Interesting)

Or

'Dont be one of THOSE parents' I'm still at a loss as to who 'they' are. Perhaps there's a membership badge?

changeforthebetter Fri 04-Jan-13 23:00:35

"Harden your heart" - shit advice from a health visitor. She, umm, had eczema, which required treatment. Stupid effing cow angry (I ignored her, second time mum etc, )but hate to think how many vulnerable first time mums were exposed to her crappy "advice" sad

NanoNinja Sat 05-Jan-13 07:46:41

Sort of sleep related, and a bit contentious but I really had to bite my tongue when my boss said that dummies were a bad idea because 'they get used to them'. Fine, his opinion. But he then followed this with a description of the problems he was having trying to get his seven year old to stop sucking his thumb. And I doubt he had never had a screaming 3 month old battering his breast because he wants to suck and suck and suck, but not his nipple.

Oh, and the usual keep him awake during the day. Oh, and a stunner from mil - let him scream for up to 45 minutes! That's probably my favourite so far.

Nancy54 Sat 05-Jan-13 09:54:23

haha nano, we start should t a new thread of 'annoyin things the MIL said. Mine has said so many!! The latest one is that i shouldn't take my twins out in the pushchair because of exhaust fumes.....

NanoNinja Sat 05-Jan-13 13:58:43

Oh, I haven't had that one. I did get that I should keep him inside for four months though. And that I would need to add in formula at four months because I wouldn't be able to make enough breast milk.

nickelbabylyinginamanger Sat 05-Jan-13 14:02:16

ooh, yes, i am still getting questions asking if she's still in our bed!

considering that yes, at 12.75 mo she is still waking in the night, then, no, i won't be putting her in her own bed.
i have to get up in the morning and i really don't want the hassle.

it's been bugging me recently.
why do so many people give a fuck how my baby sleeps?
wtf has it got to do with them?
it works for my family, and i'll do it until it no longer works for us.
i want an easy life, and i don't care if it doesn't fit in with what random other people believe.
angry

Nancy54 Sat 05-Jan-13 14:06:12

haha! mine told me to keep them in for 6 months!

nickelbabylyinginamanger Sat 05-Jan-13 14:09:45

icravecheese
"'try offering water at night instead of milk'......yeah right, just tried it with DC3, she's now officially TOTALLY mad, instead of just slightly p'eed off.
"

yyyyyyyyy
DD is poorly at the moment, and is basically BFing all night [sigh]
I have tried to fob her off with water, but she just goes "wwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" as if i'm trying to poison her. then it takes longer to calm her down and put her on the breast than if i'd just given her what she wanted in the first place. (i only tried to fob her off because she was suckling so long my nipples were sore)

MewlingQuim Sat 05-Jan-13 14:18:33

What is it with all the 'rod for your own back' comments? Arrgh, shut up DM !

I remember 'she'll sleep through once she's on solids'

Hahahahahaha

CyrilSneers Sat 05-Jan-13 18:29:48

I honestly don't know why other people are so interested in how often my baby wakes in the night! I could understand if I was moaning about being tired (which I am obviously, but try not to bang on about it too much), or if friends with young LOs themselves are asking, but it seems like the first question every Tom, Dick and Harry ask. I need a witty retort to the dreaded 'Is he good at night?' but I'm too tired to think of one

HearMyRoar Sat 05-Jan-13 19:52:56

I've got so fed up with random people asking how dd sleeps (why is it OK to ask this about a baby but if I started a conversation with them by asking if they had slept all night I would be considered mad and probably rude?) I am now brutally honest and simply say 'it's a disaster!'. This seems to surprise people so much they don't know what to say and I can change the subject sharpish grin

Signet2012 Sat 05-Jan-13 19:55:52

I just say " I don't care that she doesn't sleep through. She is only a baby!"

I find once people take it in that you don't care (it does need repeating numerous times) they shut up.

Signet2012 Sat 05-Jan-13 19:57:50

It's the "is she good?" That's get me!!she is 4 months old, What exactly can she do that's good or not good?

I normally just answer that we have had to have a few talks about manners but other than that yes. grin

Is she good ... Pah!

nickelbabylyinginamanger Sat 05-Jan-13 22:14:59

Hearmyroar -- yes! As soon as you actually say it's a problem, they don't want to know! They just want you to nod and agree

KatieLily12 Sun 06-Jan-13 03:13:26

I like using the reply 'yes and sometimes she sleeps too' when asked 'is she good?'

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