I'm so bored - in a dark room rocking / feeding to sleep

(41 Posts)
crochetcircle Sun 02-Dec-12 20:27:54

Have 3 mo dd2 who sleeps brilliantly once I get her down, but it takes hours to get her so asleep that I can put her into the cot.

I know it won't last forever and I do enjoy the cuddles, but I'm so bored spending my evenings in the dark on my iPhone, and I'm starting to get hacked off with the minute movements that wake her as I try and transfer her to bed. She's to young for sleep training, and anyway she sleeps through once she's down, so I know I should be grateful. But I'd like to watch telly/see DH/call my family once in a while.

Anyone else out there? shameless winge

knackeredmother Tue 11-Dec-12 19:50:47

This won't make you feel better but mine are 5 and 3 and I've laid in a darkened room EVERY NIGHT for the last 5 years. I wish I could just say goodnight and shut the door. I haven't had an evening for 5 years. And my youngest wakes about 5 times a night still.
You are not alone, I hope yours doesn't last as long as mine though!

crochetcircle Tue 11-Dec-12 19:47:21

Thanks heymommy for that thread. It's really reassuring if nothing else to read so many others have been through the same.

Dd2 has been quite a bit better since I started the thread. Although she's waking in the night again so it's a new set of issues...

MrsNPattz Mon 10-Dec-12 22:13:31

I have the same problem! Sometimes doesn't go down until 11:30/12, however he tends to sleep for longer when he does this so not really complaining but I know what you mean about wanting your evenings back! My little boy is 3 months too. He is currently asleep on me but I'm sure he will wake when I attempt put down blush

heymammy Thu 06-Dec-12 10:55:01
heymammy Thu 06-Dec-12 10:54:47

We really good tips here http://www.askmoxie.org/2011/01/qyoura-keeping-a-baby-asleep-when-you-put-them-down/comments/page/1/#comments on putting wee ones down without them waking up.

Feel your pain, ds is such a light sleeper, it takes him aaaages to reach deep sleep so I've taken some of the advice like wrap his blanket underneath him so he doesn't feel the change in temp, also, someone mentioned when you place the baby down, make sure their bottom touches the bed first then back then head, apparently it stops that startle awake thingy smile

aliphil Wed 05-Dec-12 21:14:38

DD (16 weeks) is a dream sleeper at night. The problem is that "night" for her doesn't start until 11 pm at earliest. Then, I can feed her to sleep and she'll go down until morning. When I feed her after her 6 pm bath, even though it's like the later one, in the chair in her room with dim light (can't feed unless I can see - how on earth do you all manage it?), she will not go down. I feed her to what appears to be deep sleep, and she either wakes as soon as I put her down or lasts about 10 minutes before she starts screaming. So I bring her downstairs, and sometimes she'll sleep for 2-3 hours on DH or me, but tonight she just keeps screaming. sad She doesn't nap much during the day so it's not that she's getting all the sleep she needs then. She's clearly tired but just keeps on fighting it.

Snugabugz Wed 05-Dec-12 19:12:09

I start to feed my four month old in quiet bedroom then when he goes into sleepy feed mode (eyes closed, rhythmic sucking, relaxed body) I shuffle downstairs with him attached to my boob and watch telly with sound down low. I can usually hold a whispered conversation with DH too. Makes the hour and a half last feed of the day much better.

DW123 Wed 05-Dec-12 13:15:44

Hi Midori - I'm trying to feed 19mo DT2 to sleep for a nap but he slept for 10 minutes in car earlier so its probably a waste of time. Will start bath at 6 tonight. With 3 feeds each they should be asleep by 8... Bored and fed up of doing the ironing at 11pm. Ho hum. Won't last forever!

midori1999 Tue 04-Dec-12 22:19:43

I doubt this will make you feel any better, but I'm sat here in the dark feeding 18 month old DD to sleep. grin

I've been feeding/getting her to sleep downstairs until now, but I think now she's older it over stimulates her so I'm hoping feeding her to sleep up here will help her settle.

What might make you feel better is that at 3 months old, DH and I were still taking it in turns holding DD until we went to bed as she just wouldn't stay asleep or go to sleep anywhere else. What's worse is that she is far from my first baby and the others all slept like a dream! Getting a more 'challenging' one was a shock! grin

Twattergy Tue 04-Dec-12 21:16:24

Go with your instinct and change up the routine then.do a feed but then something else to get her to sleep maybe a little while after the feed, e.g. rocking. I may get flamed but what about doing the pre bed feed as a formula feed not bf? I did just this feed as formula from about 4 months and it meant I could share bedtime duties with dh.

crochetcircle Mon 03-Dec-12 21:37:28

Hi twattergy - you could be right.

My dd teases us though, she was down at 7:30 the night before last, and typically by 8 - 8:30. I worry that if I keep her downstairs it will be so stimulating that we'll miss her cues and end up keeping her up way past her bedtime. She gets grumpy quite quickly when she's tired.

DH just got her down tonight in about 10 minutes. I do wonder whether she's just not a 'feed to sleeper', and I need to adjust my techniques.... I do try self settling but she's clearly not ready for that. DH rocks her to sleep.

Twattergy Mon 03-Dec-12 20:28:09

Why not feed them downstairs so at least you can talk to others/watch TV quietly while your do it? Sounds like some of these babies are not ready for bed anyway...so at least have some social time before heading upstairs into the darkness? I think the early bed time thing doesn't work for all babies prior to six months or so. I certainly wasted time trying to settle ds in the early months when in retrospect I realise he wasn't ready for bed, as has napped late in afternoon.

crochetcircle Mon 03-Dec-12 17:44:15

Well, I'm about to start again tonight. Good to see I'm not alone - welcome to Clumsasaurus leboob and elphaba

I think yesterday may have been a growth spurt as she didn't settle at all, and ended up in bed with us all night. She's been hungry all day. So who knows what tonight holds in store...

6 months plus here and I still have yet to have an evening with DH since DS was born...can't see it happening for a long time either...

I'm trying to enjoy the cuddles but the lack of sleep is killing me and hearing about friends who can leave their younger babies with the grandparents for the evening, and come home to a fed, sleeping baby, so they can go out is tough. I'm not even asking to go out, just to sit with DH on the sofa and eat crap food in front of the telly with a baby sleeping for longer than two hours at a stretch upstairs! Wah!!!!

LeBoob Mon 03-Dec-12 05:22:06

So happy to see this thread! Our record was 3hr45 feeding to sleep, I've started putting dd down later now and she feeds better and goes down quicker,BUT I'm pretty sure we've hit 4 month sleep regression. She's waking 6/7 times between 10-1, it's a bit like sleep torture, as soon as I fall asleep she wakes up!

Clumsasaurus Mon 03-Dec-12 04:33:14

Happy I found this! DS is 16 weeks and I sit in a dark room from 715 and usually don't bother rejoining civilisation again as it takes 2+hrs to feed him to sleep!

Iggly Mon 03-Dec-12 02:08:38

Oh and 6pm bedtime didn't last long (thankfully as tricky with older one!) from 4/5 months I pushed it back.

Iggly Mon 03-Dec-12 02:06:40

Started feeding at half 5 with no napping after 3.30pm.

I've aged about 70 years!

crochetcircle Sun 02-Dec-12 23:22:15

iggly what time did you start settling her if she went to bed at 6? I haven't tried that (partly because I'm worried I'd then be sat in the dark for potentially four hours not three!

I think I need to restrict afternoon sleep. She napped for 3 hours til 5 tonight. Maybe she just wasn't tired...

Tooodlepip Sun 02-Dec-12 22:55:27

Your giving me some hope iggly grin although each day sometimes feels like a year shock on we go

Iggly Sun 02-Dec-12 21:57:10

Well about 3 months I realised she wanted to be asleep by 6 so did bedtime earlier and she settled faster.

By 4 months I could put her down quicker.

By 6omths I had a proper evening (vs running up and down to resettle)

Like her big brother she has silent reflux/food intolerances whichade OT harder for her to settle, especially of she has wind.

crochetcircle Sun 02-Dec-12 21:29:35

I think it's possible that she's NOT TIRED!!!

crochetcircle Sun 02-Dec-12 21:04:20

Hi toodlepip yep, that's the worst thing about second/subsequent babies! You know what's next It's the 4 months sleep regression I'm dreading, although obviously I've avoided all the quotes bad sleep habits I created in dd1... <pops dummy / boob back in dd2's mouth and runs away to weep into my well thumbed copy of ncss>

Orenishii Sun 02-Dec-12 21:04:15

I just wish i could perfect the art of typing, scrolling, enjoying a smart phone while bfing obstreperous! I'm not totally confident - or comfortable! - breastfeeding yet so sit hunched over and scrolling long after i've read the page sad

crochetcircle Sun 02-Dec-12 21:00:57

Thanks iggly I know it won't last forever!

But how much longer????

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