Board for parents and parents to be of donor conceived children

[otterlylovely]

I recognise that like abortion, there is a debate surrounding egg and sperm donation and I would not dream for a second of trying to close down this debate - I think it's a really important one, as through talking about it, people can be educated, people can change their minds, people can understand.

BUT - given that, like abortion, it's legal in this country, I think it's quite unpleasant to be berated on a thread for planning to do this when that's not what the thread was about

So can we please have this, Mumsnet? Because there's a lot of prejudice and assumptions about and I don't always want to have to address this when all I want is a chat!

[LyndaNotLinda]

Hi MN

I agree with the OP - please can we have one? It's a topic that comes up a lot and it would be good if we had somewhere 'safe' to chat where people respected the choices we've made/are thinking of making. It would also mean those of us who've been through it can advise and support the thinkers and triers without a load of bigoted ill-informed nonsense peppering the thread.

[LyndaNotLinda]

And it would mean those people who think we're awful selfish bitches can hide the topic, meaning less work for MNHQ! :)

[otterlylovely]

Absolutely Lynda :)

[sleepingdragon]

I just wanted to add my support for having a board for parents and parents to be of donor conceived children. I would also find it very useful- I feel lucky that I have a number of friends with donor conceived children but would love a place I can ask questions and get opinions/experiences of other people living it rather than posting in a general section.

[otterlylovely]

I think it's fair to say that issues pertaining to donor conceived children are very difficult to discuss on the main boards, as it quickly turns into an ethical discussion.

[otterlylovely]

Any more thoughts? :)

[Jw35]

Yes please! One donor baby and another on the way! Couldn't give a monkeys what anyone else thinks of my choices but it would be lovely to discuss things with mums in a similar situation.

[AlmaMartyr]

This isn't a topic I have any personal involvement with and I'm not a fan of too many boards generally, but I think this one would be a good idea. If parents are being judged for their choices then it's not making their lives easier so a safe space to discuss particular issues relating to donor conception sounds like a good idea.

[otterlylovely]

Good good! :)

[hollieberrie]

Oh yes please MN. This I something I am considering for the future and it'd be great to have a designated board to share thoughts and experiences.

[otterlylovely]

I think, to sum up, there is a perceived need because:

• starting out can be overwhelming
  
• it is good to have those going through the same things
  
• parenting and pregnancy may have particular aspects to it which aren't applicable to non-donor conceived pregnancies or parenting
  
• we can encounter judgement and hostility on the main boards.

[eatmytoes888]

Another vote here - think it's a growing topic.

[Jw35]

Also another point is there are aspects of parenting a donor child (sorry if that term offends it's what I call mine) that differers from ordinary parenting. For example what to say, how to say and what approach to use when talking to the children about their identity.

[Blueprintorange]

Another vote here. Sometimes parents who already have donor conceived children need a safe space to chat, without judgment on their choice.

Especially as many can't discuss it in real life for various reasons.

[otterlylovely]

Absolutely.

[LyndaNotLinda]

I've reported the OP otterly in case MNHQ haven't seen the thread. I'm already excited about it!

[otterlylovely]

Hope we get it !

[otterlylovely]

Have MNHQ been in touch Lynda?

[LyndaNotLinda]

Not yet. You could report your post too? :)

[OliviaMumsnet]

Thanks for starting this thread, we'll have a chat at the Towers

[leghoul]

agree I know someone who has had 3 donor conceived children - would be very useful to have somewhere to talk about key issues and talk openly from what I gather

[INeedNewShoes]

Another vote here. I'm just about to have my first IUI attempt and would really appreciate a board dedicated to the topic.

Thanks for suggesting it OP.

[otterlylovely]

Thanks, Olivia :)

[LyndaNotLinda]

Thanks Olivia :)

Good luck INeedNewShoes - how exciting!

[Elsie212]

I would have loved to have had the opportunity to discuss this topic.

MNHQ, you know my previous usernames, you can see my history posted on the infertility section.

Double donor recipient here.

We really really would be helping a lot of people if this becomes a bew talk topic. It is much more common than you think