Mumsnet Talk

Arseface - I like the way you've done things lunch-wise. DS is generally too lazy to make his own sandwiches (although I insist he does twice a week) so eats in the canteen, but if HE was responsible for putting cash into the school cashless system he might choose to save his money and eat sandwiches more often. He gets a cooked meal every night, after all. It makes me cross when he BUYS sandwiches at school for three times the price (and it's my money!).

This has been a huge concern for me too. Ds's bag and pockets were full of sweet and crisp packets every day, I didn't give him money for snacks as he had school lunches, he was using his spending money. When I spoke to him it turned out he hated school lunches and was buying crisps and sweets for lunch.
So he started this term with packed lunches so far hasn't bought any snacks and has his spending money to buy crap at the weekend.

They are probably starving - my dd was opting for sugary treats as they are an easy quick form of energy and going to secondary school plus growing = lots of hunger.

try to make sure they have a proper breakfast esp in this weather and discuss health implications (and on spots/teeth etc) of poor food choices. but they're going to buy this stuff out of sight anyway if they choose - you need to persuade not ban/cut funding esp if friends are buying it for them. Or make them large and healthy packed lunches so less temptation to top up.

My dd bought lots of cookies etc at start of year 7 as exciting to have the freedom to buy treats. Now in year 7 she eats the healthy large lunch I give her (with some treats incl too) and has stopped buying illicit snacks.

We give DS all his pocket, phone and travel money in a lump sum at the beginning of the month (paid into his bank acc).
He gets £20 pocket money, £10 phone money, £10 lunch money and £20 Oyster card money. All to last the whole month.
He has to budget for essentials but has leeway. He can put money onto the school cashless system or take sandwiches from home ( free for him but he has to make them). He can walk the 20 mins to school or use public transport. It is up to him how much he spends per month on his phone but he would be docked £5 if he runs out of credit.

I'll buy him basic but quality necessities and school kit but if he wants to upgrade (eg from sturdy (geeky) backpack to cool kitbag/ specific label clothes) he has to pay the difference. He also has to pay for his own sweets/computer games/downloads/money for cinema or Nero's with mates etc.

The first two months he started this, he credited his phone and oyster card then immediately spent the entire amount on sweets from the shop on the way home. We didn't tell him but we were completely unprepared for at how much he packed away and thinking this was a terrible idea. Told him I was a bit worried about his health and why but that he was old enough to be responsible and it was up to him to decide what was important to him.

He got quite upset at not being able to do/have things for the rest of the month but we stood firm (did say he could close the account and return to having to ask us for every individual thing like his little sis).

He still consumes more junk than I'd like but it's pretty acceptable now and he regards it as much less of a treat. He doesn't bother with the school canteen except for the odd hot drink and would rather see a film/buy a game than play the big man in the sweet shop!

He's also cottoned on to (cheerfully) doing jobs around the house for extra cash - very useful now I'm hugely pregnant although my idea of suitable payment very rarely tallies with his!

Would definitely recommend this if you can stay nonchalant and ride out the early sugar madness!

Have you had a chat about debts and people buying friendships?

I'm with Felicity. They will happily go right through their teens and uni years eating crap if they can. You can say what you like, stop the money, etc, but if their pals are buying it for them there's very little you can do. Particularly if they bin the evidence BEFORE they get home.

I can see what DD2 eats from the school meals website. She was eating a load of cakes and sugary drinks at school. I just suggested to her that she needed to be making healthier choices, and she now does.

They learn about nutrition even at junior school (as well as from you, I'm sure). They know this stuff, they just need to be reminded that they know it.

Luckily mine get few opportunities to buy such things. They are driven to/from school, can't leave at lunchtime and have cashless catering at school.

You can't stand over them 24/7, so education is the only possibility!

Lasts for a few years I'm afraid

I am really strict with my dd about this (also year 7) she is allowed to buy sweets on Fridays only.

Perhaps you could tell your girls that you will stop giving them any money at all until they can be trusted to spend it wisely? Have a serious chat with them and emphasise the bad for teeth, general well-being thing, rather than weight, re. sugar.

One of their friends gets £20 per week pocket money.

Their friends.

About 25 Ime!

But I be asking serious questions about why these 'friends' are buying it all. which I suspect they aren't

Where do they get the money from?

My DDs have always eaten well with the odd treat here and there. But since starting secondary school in september they seem to eat sugary drinks and snacks every day.

When I look in their bags there are empty coke bottles or 'sports' drinks, crisp wrappers, chocolate etc. and those horrible sweet sprays which I have just chucked in the bin. I give them a bit of money on a Friday to buy something but this is every day. Some of the girls in their group always seem to have money and buy the, stuff. It's driving me mad please tell me it's just a phase!