Is it normal to give a DS detention for something a parent hasn't done?

(81 Posts)
Ilisten2theradio Tue 04-Dec-12 18:13:09

DS had a 15 minute detention today because I hadn't signed last weeks homework planner.

I had seen it and forgotten to sign it. BUT I think it is unfair to give him a detention for something that I didn't do.

WWYD? Or WDY think?

RedHelenB Tue 04-Dec-12 18:16:10

I think he should have forged it!! The onus is on the child to get the parent to do it - my two bring planner & pen to me & it takes a second!!!

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Tue 04-Dec-12 18:16:19

Does seem a bit mean but I guess the onus was on him to make sure you signed. It's his responsibility to get it signed, not yours.

Maybe. Child's responsibility to wave it at you on the right day I suppose And I wouldn't dream of signing a whole term at a time oh no

DD has a detention for not hitting a ball in vollyball but ducking out of the way.

She can't do it though because she has maths detention the same day.

She won't do either because detentions are in a hall she can't go in (AS)

I have given up.

GrimmaTheNome Tue 04-Dec-12 18:19:09

Yup. He's been given the detention for something he didn't do, ie make sure you signed the ruddy thing.

I bet you're in trouble though.

LynetteScavo Tue 04-Dec-12 18:21:32

So why didn't he just put in a quick squiggle like every other high school pupil does when they know the planner is going to be looked at?

I now sign a couple of weeks a head blush

BellaVita Tue 04-Dec-12 18:22:27

Yep. Would happen at my sons school.

waitingtobeamummy Tue 04-Dec-12 18:25:08

I get this with my form every week. It is incredibly frustrating that they don't get it signed, even though every single Friday we check them. It is his responsibility to get it done, I give behaviour points if they don't but if they were a pesistent offender it would be a detention.

pastoralacademia Tue 04-Dec-12 19:23:51

I now sign a couple of weeks a head In my school some tutors give out detentions if the parents do what you do. Some tutors give out detentions even if all the work has been done but the planner is not signed! Silly but some are just not fllexible.

DeWe Tue 04-Dec-12 19:47:28

We had that at school when I was there. What I did was, if I remembered then my mum signed it. It I forgot, then my "dad" signed it. His was easier to forge.

Some people solved it by forging every week so the signature looked the same. grin

KirstyJC Tue 04-Dec-12 19:53:31

I used to sign mine every week with my Mum's name - it was the same style handwriting as mine. Mum didn't even know it existed but did a great job covering up when it was mentioned to her at parents' evening. smile

treas Tue 04-Dec-12 20:22:58

Does seem unfair - would be even worse if the teacher even forgot to sign, as that would never happen, would it smile

cansu Tue 04-Dec-12 20:24:45

If you have a problem with this then you should perhaps be suggesting that the signature of parents is unnecessary. I am sure the teacher has better things to do than supervise detentions because it is unsigned. She is trying to keep on top of an admin job the school SMT have decided is important in the name of communication with parents. If there was no consequence then most children would not bother getting it signed. Personally I would be grateful that she is willing to make an effort to check and follow up.

botandhothered Tue 04-Dec-12 20:51:35

My friend, Veronica, was great at forging signatures. Do these children have no imagination these days?

NaturallyGullible Tue 04-Dec-12 21:02:25

Did you conscientiously refuse to sign it? If so, you have to man up and explain to the school.

If your DS did not approach you with his diary and a pen and a glass of wine at the same time, then he should take the 15 minutes on the chin.

abbierhodes Tue 04-Dec-12 21:07:53

I'm a form teacher. I only give a detention for this after several warnings. It is the child's job to get it signed. If a child said to me that the parent refused to sign it, then I'd ring the parent to check.

Blu Tue 04-Dec-12 21:12:22

DS also got some form of sanction because his wasn't signed. I think from the school's pov the onus is on him to get me to sign it.

He did attempt forgery but the 6th Form Prefect tasked with checking planners spotted it was different to the two signatures which have featured before. I said DS should have said he was living with his aunt during parental illness....

Apparantly canny pupils run 2 planners - one with all the 'bad' notes home, and one which gets signed.

mercibucket Tue 04-Dec-12 21:19:33

You need to plan from the start of the year. Get him to sign it every week then the signatures always look the same

mercibucket Tue 04-Dec-12 21:19:34

You need to plan from the start of the year. Get him to sign it every week then the signatures always look the same

abbierhodes Tue 04-Dec-12 21:25:31

Blu, that 2 planner idea is fantastic! Sometimes I have to admire their ingenuity. I will be teaching my kids my signature when they hit secondary age. Which is hypocritical as a teacher, I know.

Ilisten2theradio Tue 04-Dec-12 22:23:11

Well DS has AS so is not good at lying so wouldn't say I refused.
He also has organisational problems and they are known to school - so I think it was wrong of them from that point of view.
What I was trying to gauge however was if this is a common occurance if there are no SN's and if the teacher just needs a bit of a nudge re this, or if it is an unusual thing to do anyway.

Arisbottle Tue 04-Dec-12 22:23:15

Surely you look at your child's planner as you supervise, discuss it check homework .

The point of signing the planner is to show that you know what they have been doing over the past week .

I tippex out planners signed weeks in advance . I also authorise detentions for persistently failing to get a planner signed .

Ilisten2theradio Tue 04-Dec-12 22:25:11

Arisbottle - yes I do look at it as DS has SN's we need to look at it and jog it along. I forgot to sign though - and that is surely my mistake and not DS's so why should he be punished.

Arisbottle Tue 04-Dec-12 22:30:32

If it is the first time it is not signed he should not be punished however if this is regularly happening I agree with the detention. Unless his SN are extreme it is his responsibility

Ilisten2theradio Tue 04-Dec-12 22:37:39

I didn't come here to discuss his SN's I came to see what is the norm.

FWIW his statement does say he has organizational problems, and he needs help to ensure that he is recording his homework correctly amongst other things to do with organisation. The school is not helping with this so the contents that I am supposed to be signing are not necessarily correct anyway.

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