I just need to let this all out as I have bottled it up for so long. I have been married 15 years now and have 2 wonderful DC.
I am of asian background and my marriage was arranged after 2 meetings with my husband. I knew pretty soon after we were married we were not right for each other.
The last 15 years have been so draining. I have no real connection with my husband he is a workaholic and has more interest in his work than anything in his life. He rejected me sexually right from the day we were married I got fed up trying and gave up. I wanted children so the sex was for making babies only. My DC are 7 and 5.
I long to be held, I look at other people who look so happy in relationships and wonder why cant it be like this for me. Where did it all go so wrong.
Get angry really quickly. Got mad because I didn?t cook his dinner. He just went out when it was time for kids bath bed etc makes a habit of this. I had enough and thought I wont be cooking tonight and this is the abuse I get verbally.
Fing dog
Whore 10 times
Ugly dog/ bitch piece of shit on the floor.
B* C**
Its always like this everytime I do something wrong I get sworn at.
I really do not know what stops me from leaving I supposes I?m scared it used to be cultural reasons but now I really do not care about that anymore its more about what?s best for my children they love there dad.
I feel so drained now and just feel as if I have had enough I can?t stand the arguments anymore. I want a life, I want to be happy. I feel so lonely. I?ve got no one to talk to.
Do I just take the plunge and leave I?m not sure if I could do it though.
Please excuse the spellings and grammar as typing quite fast and not reread. sorry if its a bit long tried to keep as short as possible
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Feeling drained and very sad
9 replies
willitgetbetter · 07/11/2009 22:23
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