I've been with my husband for about 11 years, and we have one DS who we both adore.

For the last 8 months DH has been emotionally detaching himself from me more and more, and I have been trying everything I can think of to make our marriage work and get back on track (eg: suggesting Relate, writing him letters to try and get him to talk, asking him to go out together on our own etc etc etc) and he has told me that he doesn't know if he still loves me, that I don't respect him enough (I used to have a good but very stressful job which I gave up 13 months ago as I was on the verge of a breakdown, as DH is away with work a lot of the time and I wasn't coping well with DS/stressful job/travelling etc on my own). so DH expects me to worship the ground he walks on as he pays the bills/mortgage etc. I don't ask him for any "spending" support as I am still using money I received from work when I left.

DH has a very successful job, and doesn't feel that he should support me to stay at home to the point of calling me a "Lazy Fxxkin cow" last Saturday and told me that I need to go out and get another job. He doesn't see that bringing up our child to be a job enough !!

So (To get to the point) I have been very susupicious of him over the last few months because of the emotional detachment and emotional bullying etc, so had been looking through his phone when I found that he has turned off his "Sent Messages" option on his phone, this along with him being permanently attached to it, which is a massive change around from 6 months ago when he never knew where his phone was ! So I switched the sent option back on, but low and behold it's switched off the next day etc !

I then noticed that he was being very cagey about receipts he had from hotels etc, and was very very vague when I asked him where he was staying/who he was with etc.

So on Saturday morning I went through his wallet and found a hotle receipt for G&T's (lots of them) in a hotel about 45 mins away from here, when he said he was staying in London which is 2 1/2 hours from here. I also found another receipt for a dinner for two which was on a night where he said that there was a crowd of people going out.

I felt sick all day but stayed calm (if a little angry) all day and waited for DS to go to bed and then confronted him about it - expecting and hoping that he would say how sorry he was and beg my forgiveness etc - but no he kept on lying saying he was in place No 1 and having a right go at me for going through his wallet. He finally said to me (When I asked him for the 100th time why he was lying about where he was) that I obviously knew he wasn't in place No 1 and with that he stormed off to bed.

We then tried to talk the next evening, where he finally admitted that he was having dinner with a work colleague on the night he should have been with a group of people, but that he lied because of my reaction, I then asked him about the other night, and he said that he wasn't going to tell me because I would just over react. I said that if he wasn't preapred to be honest with me that our marriage was over and I hoped he was proud of himself etc etc, to which he said nothing and I went to bed (In the spare room) and cried.

This morning he asked me to give it another 24hrs (WTF) and I said no I was finished with it all and I just wanted to him to leave (Which he refused as he said he paid the mortgage) So I then rang him and begged him to leave for a short while for the sake of our DS, and we started rowing again about the night in the hotel and he said he had one meeting cancelled and decided to ring this woman up and meet her, but the was nothing in it, and she was just a friend and a good laugh !!!

I have told him tonight that it's over and I can't go back, so he has gone upstairs and I'm sat down here crying.

I feel so sad - I never wanted this for my life and I feel he's forced me into this by his immature and carefree behaviour - I wouldn't even look at another man as I was in the marriage for life - I feel that my amazing little boy doesn't deserve this and I can't get over the grief and sadness I am feeling - should I try and talk to him or should I stay strong ????

would love any advice - and sorry for the long post