Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

35 weeks pregnant...just found out he's been unfaithful!

(29 Posts)
PMcG1 Sat 26-Sep-09 10:59:38

OK, so here goes....!

I thought I was married to a man who was completely devoted to me. Most of my friends think that I've landed myself the ultimate catch, he was always very attentive, caring and supportive.
Last week my world came to a halt when my husband of 8 years told me he had kissed another lady, 6 months after we got married. He said it was a massive mistake and was very drunk and couldn't really remember it. I went to bed that night very upset, but also wondering if that was all there was to it. The next morning he came into the room (we didn't sleep in the same bed that night and since)and told me there was more he needed to tell me. It turns out there has been a total of 4 other women he has kissed in the last 8 years. 3 of them he didn't know, and promised that it was only a kiss. This I believe. The 4th was a girl he worked with, who he knew was attracted to him. It's funny as I knew it was her before he even said her name. I was so upset I could hardly breath, that day I just cried.
So to cut a long story short, it turns out after another few days more and more details came out after me repeatidly asking was that it. I knew there was more to it. The latest is that N, (the girl that he worked with)had been mgsing each other for a few weeks, he said just chatting and flirting nothing sexual. On the evening of his goodbye drinks (we were moving to another part of the UK) he was out with the work crowd, I went for the early part of the evening, but later on he was with her. He said they didn't have sex but he did perform oral sex on her and that was it. He did say that he was very releaved to be leaving a few days later as he was unsure as to where it would end.

The thing is I have been in one of the most content places in my life over the last few months, since being pregnant. We had been trying for 7 years with a lot of heartbreak along the way. Finally, I am in such a good place, only for this to happen. I am so angry at him and his timing in telling me, as I feel like the joy of the little one arriving after all this time has been stolen from me. I don't have many firends or any family around as we are from another country, so I'm feeling very isolated and lonely. I just can't stop crying and feel sick when I think about it. I haven't told anyone back home, but have spoken to a friend here. I want to try and work this out, he siad he does too, but I'm not sure that I still know the full truth, and have told him that all his lies are making a dreaful situation worse. He has apologised again and again and said that he does love me! He is willing to do whatever it takes, go to councelling etc.

I just don't know if this is the end of it all, or if there's still more to come, I had always thought once a cheat always a cheat.
Also I was planning on having a home birth but now feel that as the trust has been broken, I may be better off in the hospital. I'm also fearful of hime seeing me in such a vunerable state during labour. Just can't believe the little one is going to arrive at a time of real uncertainty in our marriage.

Sorry for the long rant, but just looking for a few words of wisdom.

Thanks for reading!!

Malificence Wed 03-Oct-12 08:11:08

This thread is three years old.

maandpa Wed 03-Oct-12 19:35:20

Oh my goodness, yes it is 3 years old! I thought the wise whenwillIfeelnormal was back on board then! I hope she is giving good advice else where.

And I hope the OP is enjoying her 3 year old, and is happy, whatever happened to her relationship.

butterflyroom Wed 03-Oct-12 20:30:49

WTAF? Why?

OhEmGee24 Wed 03-Oct-12 20:49:07

sad I am so sorry. Oral sex is extremely intimate, some may argue more intimate than intercourse sad

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now