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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did we have an update on the --idiot-- bloke who wanted to motorcycle home from India?

31 replies

moondog · 16/08/2009 15:01

Eh?

OP posts:
Paolosgirl · 16/08/2009 15:04

Wondered about this too - dying to know

StealthBearWipesBumOnDailyMail · 16/08/2009 15:04

don't know if we did

themoon66 · 16/08/2009 15:05

I wish Stella would come back and update us.

hocuspontas · 16/08/2009 15:06

Oooh yes - I'd forgotten about that tosser!

cheerfulvicky · 16/08/2009 17:00

Yes, please do let us know how you are getting on Stella. I would love to know if he's still planning to go!

PlumBumMum · 16/08/2009 17:05

I thought she did update that he was still planning on going or did I miss something?

Metella · 16/08/2009 17:07

There hasn't been an update for a while.

AnyFucker · 16/08/2009 17:07

she caved unfortunately

TheDMshouldbeRivened · 16/08/2009 17:09

maybe she is tying his knob to a motorbike and heaving it off something

moondog · 16/08/2009 17:27
Grin
OP posts:
MamaLazarou · 16/08/2009 17:34

Yes, he went, with his friend. They grew big beards and they made a cooking show along the way.

Or am I getting them confused with the hairy bikers?

Quattrocento · 16/08/2009 17:38

Yes, that was an interesting thread. Stella did indicate that she didn't anticipate a lot of movement, didn't she? Hope it is going well for her.

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 16/08/2009 17:41

I posted the same thread and nothing

screamingabdab · 16/08/2009 17:48

Stell may be concerned that her life will be splashed all over the Daily Mail without her consent.

Stella - I wish you well

themoon66 · 16/08/2009 22:14

Oh he is not gonna make the flight out there if she doesn't help him plan it, and last we heard she is sitting on her hands. So that will be that. I think.

stellamel · 18/08/2009 15:47

I am still sitting on my hands

We talked again, he agreed that my saying it's okay to go to India was a big deal in reality, and was aware many other people wouldn't get the same response from their DP. He said he was v. grateful. I also said I was not happy for this to be more than a one off, I offered up the compromise again - a week away a year doing his running/rock climbing stuff, but that if he made a regular habit of extended jaunts that there was no future for us. I didn't issue an ultimatum, I just told him that was how I felt, what he did with that info was up to him. He listened and although was disappointed at first, he agreed that what I said was fair, and he would have to wait to resume his wanderings when the DC are grown (and he can damn well take me with him ). He also listened when I told him about the state of the journalistic side of photography - he promised he wouldn't leave the engineering until he was sure he could justify it, that he would get a sabbatical from work for India trip rather than binning off job.

So I am still with him, and for the time being I am definitely sitting on my hands.

BTW Just found out am having a boy! 21 week scan was all a-okay

moondog · 18/08/2009 15:49

Oh thanks for the update Stella!!
Sounds like he is listening to what you say at least.
Congratulations re the little boy!

OP posts:
clumsymum · 18/08/2009 15:54

Stella, Thanks for letting us know.

Good luck, my love.

ErikaMaye · 18/08/2009 15:56

Stella am so glad things are looking up - congratulations on the little boy!!

stellamel · 18/08/2009 16:01

thanks everyone! I have broken the girl only gene in our families (there's been 5 girls in 4 years) everyone is thrilled

stellamel · 18/08/2009 16:02

BTW you all gave me the strength to say no more and not be a doormat, so big thanks to you all x

notwavingjustironing · 18/08/2009 16:05

We were very opinionated weren't we ? .

Glad you are on an even keel now though. You probably saved yourself years of heartache.

wilkos · 18/08/2009 16:12

congratulations stella!

so glad you sort of sorted it with him. you were absolutely right you know xx

AnyFucker · 18/08/2009 16:44

stella, congrats and thanks for update

I think you have come a long way, actually

This thread gave you the strength to see that everything is on his terms, and you were sooooo impressive at not taking the hump when there was an avalanche of very direct judgements on your relationship

Good luck, and if you need more advice, you know where to come

JuJusDad · 18/08/2009 22:30

Only just thought to go searching for posts from stellamel, so thanks to moondog for starting this one.

Stellamel - well done you.

It's easy for anyone to say stuff, but it's a whole different thing to be the person to take action.

I for one was somewhat in awe of your grace, calm and dignity throughout the previous threads, and I am so very very glad to hear that your DP is starting to earn the "D" part . Perhaps one day you can show him the threads...

That's really cheered me up. Maybe some day soon he'll fully realise how lucky he is to have you and possibly even do the decent thing... [hopeless romantic emoticon]

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