I know this board is great and I really need so e quick advice about supporting my friend who has just kicked out her partner. She has been with him for a year and I have always suspected that he is controlling. She has severe mental health problems and requires support from her friends on a regular basis. Her last massive breakdown was two days ago and I ended up phoning the Crisis Team and her psychotherapist. They were all fabulous and the Crisis Team came out to see her. Fuckwit boyfriend was conspicuous by his absence because he "can't fucking stand it".
My friend spent two days with her Mum and then came back with her Mum to home last night. Fuckwit boyfriend was tere and kicked off immediately, wanted the name of "a supplier" as he wanted "some Charlie". My friend said that if he wanted drugs he had to go to his Mums as she didn't want them in the house. He raged about how he had a hard week and wanted to relax. My friend said that was fine but not in her house and he grabbed his keys, said "I'm leaving" and called her an "arsehole" before storming off.
She came over to see me for a talk, it transpires that in the past six months he has hit her three times and there have been some other incidents of hair pulling etc. this is a violent man and I have begged my friend not to take him back this time.
Trouble is that my friend has real issues with being alone and she has already said that she knows if she feels very lonely that she will ring him.
I have advised her so far to
Ring Women's Aid (sadly my friend has been in a Refuge before) she knows WA is there to support her
Contact police to discuss the violence (she is reluctant to do this)
Arrange for someone else to collect her house keys from him
Change her mobile number
Warned her about escalation and got her to think about the when the incidents occurred....the last two physical incidents were a few weeks apart.
Have also offered to put her up here at weekends until she is feeling stronger about things. Weekends are hard for her because then her DD stays with her Dad. That is when she is most likely to weaken and ring him.
Se says her DD has not seen any of this physical violence as it has always been at weekends (and probably when he is drugged up)
Anything else?
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How best to help my friend.
JakeBullet · 03/08/2013 09:16
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