Mumsnet Talk

Oh to have this dilemma actually occur in my life.

Depends where you live, what time it is when you've finished doing what you were doing, where you have to be in the morning.

I'm relieved I'm not the only one who's so averse to actually sleeping together

I think I'd expect to stay/him to stay. The first time with DH was in a hotel (because I'd taken him to meet my BF who was visiting from overseas and staying in another town) and I can't remember what happened after that. I remember that the first time I stayed over on a worknight was A Big Deal, as it was a few weeks before the decision on whether I'd be kept on after my training period, and I was so nervous about making sure I didn't look like I'd been up half the night shagging that I accidentally went to work in the jacket of one suit and the skirt of another!

Well if it's a boyfriend, ie someone I've been seeing a few times, been out on dates with, I'd assume I was staying and tbh if he asked me to leave afterwards he likely wouldn't see me again.

However if it was ONS I'd assume I was leaving fairly soon afterward we'd finished having sex, same for anyone I was only seeing casually.

I used to find this perplexing when I had something ongoing that was casual. We only met for sex, never went out together on a date, it was just sex. My response to that would be to leave after sex, but after the first several times he asked me to stay over and he then assumed I would stay over each time. I always felt a bit disorientated in the morning though. I think falling asleep together as opposed to 'sleeping together' is very intimate and something I prefer to do with someone I'm more serious about.

I'm with Mercury, I can't sleep with anyone else in the bed. Or even the room. Why should I lie awake while someone else sleeps?

no, asking for money is hookery
i just hate any kind of co sleeping and dont like company in the morning, dont like it much at any other time either!

I think leaving is hookery

I like to stay over and have more sex in the morning!

No I would leave or ask him to leave. Surely you want to keep some mystery for the first while?

I must be old fashioned if I had the opportunity I would like to stay or vice versa and then have brekkie together! so there you go .

I'd probably assume he/I were staying the night. However if the sex turned out to be awful and I couldn't bear the thought that he might be expecting a re-run in the morning then i'd definitely scarper if I were at his.

Sorry that wasn't meant to be offensive, genuinely curious"

I find it really sad that the consensus seems to be fuck an run- and dear God don't call it sexy times!

Unless there are children involved I can't understand why you would leave after sex, don't you feel like a hooker?

I always make it clear from the get go that I dont do sleepovers and I dont allow sleepovers.
I try to make sure that liaisons are conducted during the day and generally try and get rid of them as soon as they are 'spent'

Do what seems best at the time.

Oh gosh STAY. Dishevilled, unfresh and unmade-up after sex = SEXY!

(IMO anyway) I want to shag someone who looks like theyve been shagged the next day!

hmm, is everyone so chilled? I would defo NOT want to stay the night if this was a very new BF as I'm not a morning person and would feel self-concsious to be seen all dischevelled, unfresh and unmade-up (I always wear some makeup whether single or not, not just for his benefit), plus I'm very unsociable in the morn. Without knowing his habits, also he may be a sex pest first thing in the morning while I like to sleep in. Of course if I knew him very well by then (like if he was ex-friend) and felt extemely comfortable, this could be different. The other thing is, I don't sleep easily with someone I hardly know - as I say you lot are so chilled !
If it was at mine, I'd ask him nicely to go, and would explain I have plans next day and need my sleep, but would make sure we had plenty of time during the evening.

I sound a bit high-horsey in my last sentence there - I should really say I don't bother with ONSs anymore

All of your options really! Depends on the night and what felt right at the time. Go with the flow would be my best advise

If we were out and then went back to his late for sex I'd probably stay the night as it would be late and I wouldn't want to just shag and run.

If the night was dinner at his house then sex I might go home after we'd spent a bit of the evening cuddling and chatting after sex

Also depends what I have planned the next day.

So many variables there is no right or wrong.

Though if it was a one night stand I'd probably just want to get the hell out of there after it if it was at mine, I wouldn't want him to stay the night. That's just me though and I don't bother with ONSs

Lol at fuck and run, might have to use that

I think I would prefer to stay for the whole night however, I would ask/find out first so that I could pack a suitcase full of stuff couple of essentials.

Id assume I/he was staying.

I like to sleep after

I'd def assume I/him were staying the night!

Awfully bad form to fuck n run.

I'd presume I/he was staying the night.