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Naive to not have house in joint names?

(47 Posts)
SimLondon Thu 14-Feb-13 23:39:08

Long post - sorry

My OH and I have been together for a good 12 years but not married.
We each own a flat seperately but when pregnant with DD tried and failed to buy a house together, eventually a few months after i went back to work managed to buy a project house but only in OH's name - he told me that the mortgage company wouldn't accept me after having spent the last
year on maternity leave.

When we moved, I lost a close relative and was heavily involved in his care, and the legalities of his affairs as well as commuting and having a stressful fulltime job, i didnt take a great deal of interest in the new house as it just added time to my commute and I was to tired at the end of the day and i missed the last house / location.

OH also works fulltime but has done a lot of work on the house at the weekends with his father/brother - my
job at the weekend has been to take the baby out and keep her out, which has meant a lot of time at soft play, supermarket cafes and car parks - but also means we havent spent any time together as a family or as a couple.

Financially I have put just as much in as OH has. 50/50.

Im feeling a bit resentful because having not been involved in discussions on the house, I feel left out - I thought
we should be talking and coming to decisions together but he's obviously done that with his dad/brother when i've not been there, and to be fair I've been to tired to take much in a lot of the times he has asked me to take more of an interest.

Just feel upset really, oh isnt interested in getting the house put into joint names but not only have i spent my inheritance and got into debt on this, the mortgage is over 2k a month of which i pay half. He thinks I'm being unreasonable if i seem disgruntled :-(

AnyFucker Fri 15-Feb-13 07:40:30

OP, this is terrifying for you

You and your dc can be put out on the street by this man

and no, no-one thinks it will happen to them, until it does

What on earth are you thinking ?

DancingInTheMoonlight Fri 15-Feb-13 07:40:59

Stop paying anything towards his up keep and ask for his half of food, childcare, bills etc. id he complains tell him you can go back to 50/50 when your name is on the house. If he refuses you have your answer...

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 15-Feb-13 07:44:26

He only thinks you're being unreasonable because he has no intention of letting you have any say in 'his house'. As you are unmarried, if you were to split up now, you would have no more claim on the property than a lodger. This is a very serious issue .... you need your name on the mortgage, the deeds, utility bills, a will, insurance policies etc as a first step. You should also draw up with a solicitor some documentation that acknowledges your investment in the property and what share of the property you technically own.

Make that appointment and get legal representation. Don't take no for an answer

Xales Fri 15-Feb-13 08:15:30

No marriage. Not on the deeds. Zero legal commitment from him.

Basically you are screwed. He can walk away pay you a % of his income for any children that are his and unless you can prove any deposit you are not entitled to anything else.

What happens if he dies?

AThingInYourLife Fri 15-Feb-13 09:03:26

"Stop paying anything towards his up keep and ask for his half of food, childcare, bills etc. id he complains tell him you can go back to 50/50 when your name is on the house."

Don't do that.

Don't give him any notice that you are going to stop acquiescing in being ripped off by him.

Gather evidence of your contribution, anything that indicates there was an understanding that it was your joint property.

And see a lawyer ASAP.

This is serious.

OxfordBags Fri 15-Feb-13 09:51:31

Oh god, so you just transfer the money or give him cash? You have shelled out so much money and have zero proof that a single penny went towards anything concerning the house. Legally, he owns everything and you won't be able to claim said single penny back as you can't prove what you gave it him for. Word of mouth counts for nothing.

There is simply not a single good reason why he's done this to you. The reasons are all negative, dubious and extremely worrying. You have been duped, badly. I fear that it'd already be too late to get any cash back, if necessary.

Are all the bills in your name, as you pay them? This actually sounds even worse - he owns the property, you have zero legal entitlement to it or proof you have contributed to it, but you are liable for any debts accrued because of it!

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Fri 15-Feb-13 09:56:52

Forgot to say I wasn't on the mortgage either as I apparently earned not enough at the time. 6-12 months later I was on the mortgage.
It was a simple solicitors form and a requirement of the lender

CarnivorousPanda Fri 15-Feb-13 12:48:01

Agree that you need legal advice urgently. He has effectively lied to you to persuade you not to get your name on the deeds. Then covered his tracks by ensuring mortgage payments are traceable only to him. Alarm bells here.

Agree with Athing - start gathering evidence of your contribution now.

And rereading your post, it seems as though you spend no time together as a couple. How does he behave to you generally? You say he's asked you to take more of an interest in the house yet denied you any ownership of it.

Viviennemary Fri 15-Feb-13 12:58:46

I agree with saying absolutely nothing to him until you have sought legal advice. He sounds dreadful. But seek legal advice before challenging him. He has proved himself a man not to be trusted as he misled you re the mortgage and title deeds.

cestlavielife Fri 15-Feb-13 14:11:08

"we have our own accounts, he pays the 2.1k mortgage - i transfer a couple of hundred to him, and i pay for everything else e.g full-time nursery, council tax, food, and all the other bills. For the big outlays e.g house deposit and builders costs i've transferred the money or got it out in cash"

you are basically a lodger with no rental agreement; and a lodger who kindly gives him gifts to spend on the house he and he alone owns. so kind of you!! even if you pay bills - this is just like a lodger/renter.

you have zero rights to anything. was there anything documentng what money you put into th deposit on the house? anything at all?

the only proof of joint ieterest is his name on birth cert - but that doesnt prove much... you need to take all your evidence you can gather to a lawyer pay the 150£ for an hour advice and pronto ...if he dies in an accident tomorrow you are completely stuffed. if he walks out no your even more so

fiventhree Fri 15-Feb-13 15:50:06

I think you should get to a solicitor pronto.

What records do you have eg bank statement, of transfers to his account?

BabyRoger Fri 15-Feb-13 15:58:09

Just to say I agree with everyone else - see a solicitor pronto.

I just bought a house a few months ago with my OH whilst on maternity leave. The mortgage company certainly do give you a mortgage, I just needed a letter from my employer stating that they believed I would return to work on the same terms and conditions.

DuckworthLewis Fri 15-Feb-13 16:00:40

He's lying to you. I have no income, and had not had any for several years prior to our house purchase.

I am still on the mortgage and deeds as a joint owner.

You are classified as an 'excluded occupier' and can be asked to leave the property at any time.

Any money that you have paid towards the mortgage would be taken by a court to be evidence of an agreement for you to live in the property as long as he permits you to, but is not considered evidence of an agreement to share the ownership of it.

Please seek legal advice ASAP.

DuckworthLewis Fri 15-Feb-13 16:02:10

Sorry, but just to clarify what a couple of people have said; even if there is any evidence of your contribution to the mortgage, this is not evidence of any claim to the ownership of the property.

AnyFucker Fri 15-Feb-13 16:52:39

Where has op disappeared to ?

Seeing a solicitor or CAB,, I hope

Contradictionincarnate Fri 15-Feb-13 17:14:53

because you have put 50/50 in cash towards the house you have a legal interest enforceable by law ... if you split you could take him to court to get these funds back or compensation its called a constructive trust I think (forgotten all work things as on mat leave).
I would ask him exactly why he doesn't want it in joint names? if he is worried about not protecting his interest you can draw up a deed of trust which dictates what will happen when you split.
hope this helps!! smile

Contradictionincarnate Fri 15-Feb-13 17:16:23

oh and the document the mortgage company make you sign is just to say you will vacate if they have to reposess it does not protect your dp and certainly doesn't protect you!

Madeleine10 Fri 15-Feb-13 19:43:41

You could talk to your solicitor about a Declaration of Trust. I am doing this with my husband for various reasons, I contributed a very large deposit and he has the mortgage. I didn't want to be on the mortgage as I don't work and don't intend to work full time( at least for the foreseeable( and it's a reasonably small mortgage), so he can pay it himself quite easily.

A DoT makes it clear legally what my financial position regarding the house is, regardless of my signing Deed thingy for his mortgage company saying I have no interest in the property. Those other Deeds (Deeds of Consent I think they are called) are to protect the mortgage company if the mortgage defaults and they want to sell. DoT means if he played up should we split I can use it in court to argue any case.

But this will mean your partner has to play ball and agree to sign one, which sounds like it could be a real problem. We are very happy, and trust each other !00%, but it was my husband's idea just for my protection if the unthinkable happened. I truly think in your case you really need to see a legal bod urgently, and certainly don't tell him yet, as Viviennemary says..

Madeleine10 Fri 15-Feb-13 19:45:06

Just seen what ontradiction has said above, same as I'm attempting to, but far more succinctly! grin

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Fri 15-Feb-13 23:09:38

Madeline But presumably your name is on the deeds? This is the real issue here- not whose name is on the mortgage.

cestlavielife Fri 15-Feb-13 23:27:18

Paying a solicitor now to draw up a deed of trust or getting joint mortgage or name at land registry is going to be a lot cheaper than a complex and drawn out TOLATA trusts of lands act case . Go to solicitor, get forms drawn up and present them ..., deed of trust if you married and all assets deemed joint is different anyway. If you not married you need to be sure to make your claim on property legally watertight should anything happen. And this is accidents etc not just splitting...tell him that if he dies you get nothing. Is that his plan?m

Contradictionincarnate Mon 18-Feb-13 08:20:32

richman your name can't be on the deeds without being on the mortgage not as an owner.
- there are v exceptional circumstances when it can be the other way around but too complicated and no need to explain here!

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