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Found out DH watches porn - should I be this upset?

(102 Posts)
justkeeponsmiling Thu 31-Jan-13 00:02:25

Earlier on today, I stumbled across the evidence that DH watches porn online on our laptop. I confronted him (by text - I know it's bad but he was out) and he admitted it but we've not spoken about it since.
I feel so upset. I'm usually very open-minded - we have sex once or twice a week and I feel it's good quality sex, if u know what I mean. There's the occasional toys, we don't always switch the lights off... u get the drift. We have even watcged some films together, although this is quite a few years ago now!!!
I thought we were doing pretty well in that department - we've been together for 11 years and have three kids and both work.
In principle, I'm not against porn and it would never have bothered me if I had walked in on him masturbating, I would have just laughed it off.
But the thought that he sits downstairs masturbating over Cindy taking it hard from behind while I'm out to work or asleep upstairs really upsets me.
I thought I knew him and all of a sudden I realise I don't know him at all.
Also, I can't imagine having sex with him again - I bet he plays the clips over and over in his head while we do it, the thought makes me feel ill.
Am I being a hypocrite? I just feel really hurt and betrayed.

badinage Tue 05-Feb-13 22:40:07

The violence against women in some of today's porn isn't fake. There are women who have been permanently physically damaged by porn. The only thing that's fake is their enjoyment.

Please don't tell me that I agree with you without realising it. I don't think I've agreed with a single post of yours on this site, ever.

MadAboutHotChoc Wed 06-Feb-13 07:37:56

I agree with Badinage - the physical injuries these women suffer are definitely not fake, on some film sets, they make good use of staff who have been trained to stitch up injuries sad

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