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What do you and DH talk about?

(32 Posts)

Dh and I have been together for 10 years, married for about 7, had DC1 nearly 3 years ago. Marriage suffered a bit but hopefully things are in the right track now.

We rarely go out by ourselves but when it happens i feel I don't know what tp talk about. I don't watch films or series anymore, and DH still does. He loves games, I don't.

I end up talking about DCs, plans for the future... It feels i don't have anything interesting to say. (we used to be able to talk for hours...)

Does it happen to you too? If not, what do you talk about? I need some inspiration... smile

Wow, I'm impressed how much you people talk about sex! smile That's an activity I remember vaguely...

I would love to talk silly (the silly LTB scenarios sound fun) but I think you need to be in a really good relationship for it to happen, and as I said, we've had a few bad years and are just starting to get along again.

While DH watches stuff and play games I try to sleep! (and feed the baby as needed). To be honest, I don't even fake an interest about his films and games. I don't bother about most of them (I resent him enjoying this stuff... He gave up trying to convince me to watch stuff but i always prefer to try to sleep).

Re the writng, he's not young (nearly 40) but he doesn't like the 'thinking about scenarios for stories.' And he wants me to write the things, instead of talking about them!

I don't think any of them is very happy at the moment (too tired, too busy), but I don't know how to make things better.

Kione Mon 28-Jan-13 10:52:13

we went through a rough patch where I was on the brink of leaving because I felt we dudnt have anithing in common and wr didnt talk. Now everyday after we put DD in bed at 7.30 the tv and internet go off until 9. Then we try and watch something together, we record things, when we planned it I thought it was going to feel forced but it doesnt, I love it! specially on Fridays when we also open a bottle of wine, really look forward to it now.smile
We talk about work, things to do in the house, events coming up, future plans, memories, news...

HandbagCrab Mon 28-Jan-13 11:36:34

I find a good place to have conversations is in the car having a drive for an hour or so.

It doesn't seem right that your leisure time is sleeping and his is watching what he wants and playing what he wants. If you did less in the house and he did more would that help? He can't bf and he probably shouldn't do night wakings during the working week if you can help it but he can do everything else smile

A good compromise technique I read is that rather than find something you both like to watch/ eat/ do is to take it in turns to both choose something you like. Then someone is always happy (but the other person has to go along with it).

It's sad he cannot let you talk about your story ideas. Perhaps you could say you both need to let each other talk about the things you are interested in without critisicing whether that be story writing or call of duty.

SparkyDudess Mon 28-Jan-13 11:55:05

erm...DS, work (we work in the same industry for different companies but he employs a number of ex-colleagues of mine, and quite often one of his guys will be part of one of my projects), sorting the house out, sex (usually as in 'one day we'll both be fit rather than one or the other of us constantly being ill'), his family, my family (but that usually ends up with me upset), general gossip, what's in the news (last night's discussion included DS and was about the proposed revision to the US gun laws). Anything and everything really, we're both quite opinionated.

Having said all that...I felt like the world's most boring woman when DS was small and I was at home. I felt I had nothing to say of any interest (other than whatever fascinating thing I'd seen on Richard and Judy that day), and that was because I did nothing for myself, it was all about DS.

Noren Tue 29-Jan-13 11:25:14

Alright, beat this: last night we talked about whether, if you filled a gym ball with helium, a pigeon would be able to carry it and attempted to work it out using very sleepy Maths.

drownangels Tue 29-Jan-13 12:19:06

I have been with DH for 22 years and we have 2 teenage kids.
He is 50 and I am 47.
Soooooo, our conversations
How's work going - the good, the bad and the funny!
Where the kids are and what they are doing.
Who is on taxi duty!

Fun stuff
What films shall we go and see
What gigs are coming up.
Anything on at the theatre we fancy
Plans for time off - what walks, mountain bike rides shall we do.
News from friends.
What new music is out.
What books we are reading- has it been adapted to a film or play blah blah blah.
Daft stuff, silly jokes and nonsense.
nostalgic stuff Remember when kind of talks. The clubs we went to, bands we have seen- who was good and who was shite and why!
Travel plans - real and fantasy plans!
I read stuff out from FB

There's always stuff to talk about but the best question he asks me is 'Fancy a drink' just as the 10 o'clock news comes on!! grin

Noren, that's amazing! smile

I used to have silly conversations like with DH, hope we get back in shape one day. Or maybe I should ask him about the helium-filled gym ball and see how he reacts...

Drownangels looks like you have a lot of fun together smile

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