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Is marriage supposed to be hard work?

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louloutheshamed Wed 23-Jan-13 19:02:55

My colleague was talking today about how hard marriage is.... And at the risk of sounding smug, I felt like a bit of a fraud as I really don't find being married to my dh hard at all. It is joyful, and he is very easy person to be in live with because he is so wonderful...

But am I just being naive thinking this? We have only been married for 5 years and are both young and in good health as are our family members- I am aware we might have hard time in the future but is marriage per se supposed to be hard?

We have 2 yr old non sleeping ds and both work full time so that has been hard, but not the relationship aspect...but .the comment made me anxious in a strange sort of way that we mustn't be doing it right if it is too easy !?!

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AlwaysWantingMore Fri 25-Jan-13 13:22:51

I'm not sure, up until recently I would have said 'no its not hard work' but the last six months or so I have found incredibly difficult. A lot of damage has been done over that time just by a breakdown in communication, shifting perspectives and a change in what we want and expect from ourselves and each other. These were all natural changes that have come about after 8 years of just 'rubbing along happily'. The hard work will now be in trying to face up to our problems and put in the effort to repair the damage.

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