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'D' H assulted me half an hour ago and I've just given a statement.

(89 Posts)
shadesofwhite Sat 19-Jan-13 21:05:24

He boxed my head and nearly broke my arm. I was terribly shakint and called the police, they showed up in no time and he did a runner before they got here. They are searching for him and I'm home with DD trying to take my mind off what just happened. Sorry I can explain what led tpo this nasty incident now but I just needed a hand holding. Part of me feels guilty coz the ss will get involved and absolutely scared of what will happen next.

florry88 Sat 19-Jan-13 21:22:01

Thinking of you, you most defintly have done the right thing, your life can BEGIN now xxx

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Sat 19-Jan-13 21:22:33

Oh lovely. Xxxx
Let ss help you, it's what they are there to do xx

izzyizin Sat 19-Jan-13 21:24:20

Please visit www.womensaid.org.uk and call the 24/7 helpline.

bubby64 Sat 19-Jan-13 21:29:11

Here to hand hold as well. You are a incredibly strong and brave lady and you are rote ting your child as well as yourself. Have you had your injuries checked out, especially as you blacked out, you must do so, as you don't want to black out later because of head trauma when you are alone with you DC. Can you go into hospital tonight if there is no-one to look after you, your DC should be able to go with you. Please ensure you press charges, your partner doesn't deserve you and belongs behind bars.

bubby64 Sat 19-Jan-13 21:30:38

That should say "protecting your child " auto correct gone mad!

susanann Sat 19-Jan-13 21:32:09

What a brave lady you are. Well done for going to the police. Hope you and DD are ok

mamalovebird Sat 19-Jan-13 21:33:07

Am sitting here crying for you. Well done for calling the police.
And what an inspiration you are to your dd standing up and not taking this shit anymore. No one should put up with that crap. xx

myroomisatip Sat 19-Jan-13 21:38:49

You were very brave to call the Police.

Sadly, I put up with so much crap in my relationship that it impacted on my kids. I ended up calling the Police on my son when he assaulted his sister. You really have done the right thing.

Keep posting here. MN was the only thing that helped me realise how much of my life was totally 'wrong'!

shadesofwhite Sat 19-Jan-13 21:49:47

the ambulance was here and they have checked me, taken pics of marks and checked my head and eyes. My BP was high and heart rate was high. They stayed over for abit as I told them I didn't want to go to the hospital with DD and before they left my Heart rate was back to normal. I'm just getting a terrible head ache now. Hope all will be well. Thank you all for the support, it means a lot to me and DD.

shadesofwhite Sat 19-Jan-13 21:51:58

Thanks MumVsKids for offering the help, I'm in London sad ...quite a distance. God Bless you.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Sat 19-Jan-13 21:53:13

Roughly what area are you in?

Well done for calling the Police Shades, you are extremely brave.

Glad the Police and Ambulance crew were supportive.

Is your house secure, can you bolt the doors/windows from the inside to stop him getting back in?

<holds hand>

wolveschick Sat 19-Jan-13 22:09:29

Issy's advice is good. Depends on which area you are in but police usually don't caution for domestic violence matters. If he is bailed from the police station to court it should be with conditions to keep away from you and your home. If he is charged to court then witness care/independent domestic violence workers should be in touch and keep you posted big it goes as far as trial the best thing you can do is turn up as often not guilty pleas are put in on te basis that the victim will change his/her mind. Good luck

Sunnywithshowers Sun 20-Jan-13 01:20:18

Well done for reporting lovely. <offers hand>

SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh Sun 20-Jan-13 01:32:32

Well done, you've been very brave and very strong. I think you will be able to get an emergency order keeping him away from the house first thing Monday morning - keep the doors and windows locked for now and if he does turn up, don't hesitate to ring 999 again and say that he has returned and you are scared he is going to attack again. There is plenty of help and support out there to ensure that he is kept away from you.

SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh Sun 20-Jan-13 01:33:14

ALso, once he is gone you will probably find that you can come off the antidepressants etc.

Jux Sun 20-Jan-13 02:07:01

Well done, Shades. It takes guts to report. Hang onto that, and keep yourself safe. Phone Women's Aid, as they can offer you support in rl.

Meanwhile, hang in there.

Skyebluesapphire Sun 20-Jan-13 02:15:59

Well done for reporting it. Please do ring Women's Aid, they helped my friend immensely.

You have had done good advice and support here. Please do whatever it takes to protect yourself and DD from this man.

izzyizin Sun 20-Jan-13 02:32:58

I hope you were able to get some beneficial sleep last night, shades.

If the police don't make contact with you this morning, call them and ask whether he's been apprehended and, if so, ask whether he has been/will be released on bail and ask what address he has been/will be bailed to and what conditions, if any, must he observe while on bail.

Have you been allocated a dv worker by your borough's police dv unit?

If your h is named on your mortgage/tenancy agreement, it may be advisable for you to apply for ex parte occupation and non-molestation Orders asap. Your dv worker will be able to refer, or take, you to a solicitor who will have experience in making applications of this nature.

Any such Orders will be granted for an interim period, usually 28 days, pending a full Hearing of the matter(s).

The paramedics who attended last night will have checked for concussion; if your headache continues and you find yourself feeling drowsy or forgetful please call 999 and ask for the ambulance service so that you can be seen in an A&E unit - you can take your dd wth you.

Please bear in mind that you've sustained a severe shock, not just to the parts of your body he attacked, but to your whole system. Don't try to do too much over the next couple of days - stay in the warm, drink plenty of fluids, be sure to eat regularly - little and often if you can't stomach your usual size portions and, dd permitting, make sure you rest/nap during the day.

I know this is easy to say and not quite so easy to do, but try not to overthnk everything that has happened or get caught up in a maelstrom of thoughts about what may happen. Take each day as it comes and, until you feel fully yourself again, only do chores that are essential to your own and dd's wellbeing.

Last night you proved you're not lacking in courage and that courage, coupled with a firm resolve to create the life that you and your dd deserve, will get you get you to a better place sooner than you may think possible, honey.

xlittlekellyx Sun 20-Jan-13 03:05:53

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE... yes ss will most definitely be in touch...as long as you prove you are keeping ur child safe ie: calling police which you have done...keeping him out of the home...i got an undertaking but DO NOT ACCEPT THIS IN COURT please please listen this is so important...you want a restraining order not an undertaking ...and this is also important...you need one with "power of arrest" ...the difference between the two are massive...so to clarify restraining order with power of arrest,...i didnt get this and its led to him bullying me for the last year...i have lots of advice about this situation as ive been there...xxxx message me if u need comfort or advice xx

xlittlekellyx Sun 20-Jan-13 03:07:24

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE... yes ss will most definitely be in touch...as long as you prove you are keeping ur child safe ie: calling police which you have done...keeping him out of the home...i got an undertaking but DO NOT ACCEPT THIS IN COURT please please listen this is so important...you want a restraining order not an undertaking ...and this is also important...you need one with "power of arrest" ...the difference between the two are massive...so to clarify restraining order with power of arrest,...i didnt get this and its led to him bullying me for the last year...i have lots of advice about this situation as ive been there...xxxx message me if u need comfort or advice xx

xlittlekellyx Sun 20-Jan-13 03:07:45

Oops sorry for double post x

shadesofwhite Sun 20-Jan-13 13:33:26

Thanks all fpr the advice. We had a good night sleep and I'm feeling alittle better. I kind of feel happier without him around belittling me and destroying my self esteem at every opportunity. So, I don't know what to do but having read your replies this is my plan,

--call the police to find out what happened.

Wait for tomorrow to ring Womens aid.

I'm worried about having to move my DD in this terrible weather conditions and I'm opting to stay at our home. there is a SW who rang me yesterday offering a BnB and I declined just because I want to keep my DD in her safe warm home. My biggest worry is (I'm only 24 so I don't know much about my rights in such situation) we might get evicted from here. We are tenents and my name is not on the tenancy agreement. What should I do, I'm a SAHM and have no income whatsoever. Have no friends or family to help me aout. Can I get the court to make him pay the rent while he is restrained? Please, don't go away, help me out and don't tire replying back with advice. I need it. You are all I have to get through this.

shadesofwhite Sun 20-Jan-13 13:36:22

Hi Xlittlekelly thanks for the advice. Please explain alittle more about this.. undertaking but DO NOT ACCEPT THIS IN COURT please please listen this is so important...you want a restraining order not an undertaking ...and this is also important...you need one with "power of arrest" ...the difference between the two are massive...so to clarify restraining order with power of arrest,...i didnt get this and its led to him bullying me for the last year.. what advice did you get and who did you go to?

AngryTrees Sun 20-Jan-13 13:41:10

In a situation like yours I would contact Shelter and ask about what to do and what your rights are.

Website here: www.shelter.org.uk/

They give all sorts of advice to do with housing and are very good. I would also look to see if you have a local Citizen's Advice Bureau that you can make an appointment with to talk about this.

I would also take a look at this Emergency housing rights checker to see what assistance your local council can offer you:

england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/downloads_and_tools/emergency_housing_rights_checker

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