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arguments and late periods

(37 Posts)
illbeinthesky Fri 04-Jan-13 21:33:51

Me and my bf have a lot of arguments and I've started having later periods. We don't have sex, waiting until marriage, besides we have too much physical distance between us. I also started taking this ap class but I can't pen point when my periods started coming late. Are our arguments the cause or the class? Also second question ladies, he likes to talk on the phone with me late at night but I would like to do it much earlier like in the day or early night. I understand he wants his man time, but how do I get day phone conversations without seeming like an overbearing gf?

Allergictoironing Sat 05-Jan-13 21:08:39

Um so you won't have sex with him until you are married, but you did have sex (or got pretty close) with someone else during a break with him? I would be surprised if this isn't eating at him a bit still however much you may think the issue is resolved.

On the other hand, I agree with the other posters who say that his lack of consideration for your desires to talk at a reasonable time of day plus you having a lot of arguments doesn't bode well for your future happiness - unless despite your qualifications you will be happy to be put in the "keep them barefoot & pregnant" category.

Yu are sooo young, there is no need to be tied down at your age. You may think you really love this guy, but if you were happy to "do things with other dudes" then you can't be that dedicated to him deep down inside. Maybe it's the being part of a couple thing that you're really in love with?

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 05-Jan-13 21:12:56

As well as arguments and being unable to ask simple requests, making yourself someone's whipping-boy is also a good reason not to keep dragging a relationship on past its natural end. You realise that, because he knows you feel guilty, he will always hold the 'dude' over you from now on? Every time you disagree he'll drag it back up and your life will carry on being stressful enough to skip periods.

Sometimes when it's over, it's over...

mathanxiety Sat 05-Jan-13 21:26:18

So you told him about the messing around and he didn't like it and then when you asked him to get over himself he threw it back at you that you hadn't told him 100% of it right there and then.

You can't win for losing with this jerk can you?
He is a classic case of Beginning Abuser 101.
He will always hold this against you. You will never be able to live a single day without feeling you owe him an apology for this, or challenge a single bit of attention he gives another woman because he will always hold that against you.

What he wants is someone he can dominate and sadly you are It.

Why are you thinking of marriage while at the same time doing an AP subject?
Don't you want to go to college?

When you were fooling around with this other 'dude' did you use contraception? Even if you didn't have sex, were you able to produce a condom and expect him to use it if he and you had wanted to have sex?

Why does having a boyfriend who is possessive and jealous and with whom you argue a lot and who dominates your life even when you are not talking (jeez that sounds mature...) mean enough to you to keep at it even when you are tired and want to sleep instead of giving him his 'man' time ? (whatever he is he is no man).

Are you 17? 18?
Is he away in college already?
Did you get a sense of having status in your HS by having an older boyfriend?
Did you lose friends or become isolated when the two of you were dating before he left and is that why you are so involved with him now?

You need to ask yourself why keeping this relationship is worth the cost he demands from you.

mathanxiety Sat 05-Jan-13 21:30:50

And you have to ask yourself if you and he argue so much and if he is so upset at the thoughts of you with someone else, what is he getting out of this relationship?

HINT -- the answer is not True Love.

If he is that upset with you then he needs to either piss or get off the pot -- either get over it and move on or end the relationship. He can't keep you dangling as he is doing, punishing you occasionally and repeatedly for the same 'crime'. Unless that is what he is getting out of this, which is what I suspect. If you are insecure and immature, one way of bigging yourself up is bullying someone else after all.

illbeinthesky Mon 07-Jan-13 21:52:59

On the morning of day three of not talking I received a text stating he forgave me and that he loved and missed me. I took you alls advice and told him I loved him too but I don't always wanna be forgiven because I'm not always wrong. That we weren't even together at the time but I get this point but he needs to work on his attitude and put jealousy aside. Thanks. Lol he hasn't texted back since then tho

foolonthehill Mon 07-Jan-13 21:58:21

That'd good isn't it? He's showing you who he is....and you can see that you deserve more.

Normal response should be "oh, I am sorry, you are right that I was acting jealous and that you were single. Will you forgive me? I was wrong. I must have hurt your feelings a lot by being so selfish "

or words to that effect

mathanxiety Tue 08-Jan-13 06:44:39

Well done. That is a good first step.

Do you ever talk with your parents about this relationship?
What do your friends think of this person?

illbeinthesky Tue 08-Jan-13 22:07:08

Well we talked yesterday, texted, and I said everything on my mind. He didn't agree that he was jealous this. Still together. So that's just it. But when it comes to calling me there'll probably be a falling out. And no I don't talk to my parents about him really. And friends they think he's cool.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 08-Jan-13 22:11:06

If he doesn't agree that he is jealous he's saying that the way he treats you is justified. Why set yourself up for another falling out and more punishment from this 'cool' moron?

freeandhappy Tue 08-Jan-13 22:32:26

Does anyone have a link to the red flags or listen up? Please read up about warning signs in relationships OP. the more you know the better you will be able to make good choices.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 08-Jan-13 22:37:38
mathanxiety Wed 09-Jan-13 06:04:31

Are you relieved to be still together?

What are you getting out of this relationship if the answer to that one is yes?

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