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On the breadline but going without Sky and sports would cause problems in the relationship.

(50 Posts)
Darkesteyes Sun 18-Nov-12 18:06:14

I posted this on the News board but ive also put it here because i wondered what other Mners would think of this especially as there have been even more threads than usual about money in relationships over the past week or so.

It just seems to me that the woman in this situation is making the sacrifices or am i being over sensitive.

www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/nov/18/family-finance-tax-credits-lost?CMP=twt_fd&utm_medium=twitter&utm_source=dlvr.it

Expat I count you as one of the people who actually know how to live. I think of Aillidh and I pine for you as ds has leukaemia and I can't imagine your pain. Well I can but if I prepare myself for even a minute I am a mess.

I want everyone to unite and say it's not right or fair that lots of people have to be proud to live on beans and toast. Though beans and toast are ok..but hell, we live in a highly developed first worlds country.

We should rise up. We are a wonderful nation

but sorry, these last few 'governments' have not governed. They have raped pillaged and laughed at us.

Labour bled the coffers dry and laughed as they left the boardroom in darkness.

This government is crucifying the poor weak and vulnerable. It's the Tory way. But it's not a way that morally or financially stands any kind of scrutiny.

I have only sky and magic stars. I cant afford to go oiut. I have DLA and Carer;'s allowance. i have savings. but from aprial next year the limit for savings in order toi qualify for benefits is being cut from 16 tghousand to 6 thousand.

i am ashamed to be alive actually let alone british. i love my gorgeous Lakeland Terrier so much as she brings me joy and warmth. And she warms our bed at night. And my boy is bald and pale. I like Sky because it has DisneyJunior. I hate Murdoch and the fuckers that take my and my sons money for it in such a climate.

and as for porice rigging among the gas and electricity companies..well, what do you expect? we are the gullible fuckers that just pay it.

terrible typos.

blush

garlicbaguette Mon 19-Nov-12 01:10:55

Very powerful posts, UA, and to the point.

The big issue is not this woman's selfish prat of a husband valuing his TV entertainment more highly than his children's well-being. It's that so many of us are so financially stretched that we have to count the cost of an individual banana.

TiredBooyhoo Mon 19-Nov-12 01:15:02

excellent post UA. but i have to ask. what can people who really are counting every banana do about it? people need their gas and electric. we cant just not pay it.

TiredBooyhoo Mon 19-Nov-12 01:15:49

i'm genuinely asking btw.

No tired we have to pay it. There is nothing we can do. We don't have the stomach for a revolution.

I think we look at Spain and Greece and their peoples rising up and protesting about austerity and we somehow feel smug that we can just remain british and take it on the chin...that we are somehow not in and amongst the dirtbag messed up 'euro' nations (we are however!) and so can hitch up our breasts and feel better.

Well we can't. But governments have managed to divide and rule us so brilliantly that we are not a cohesive land-mass now anyway so there's fuck all we can do except sit back, be proud to have beans and sky, and continue to cough up

TiredBooyhoo Mon 19-Nov-12 01:36:15

i dont feel smug. i feel constantly on edge. just waiting for that emergency to happen that will break me.

yes, me too. smile sad

garlicbaguette Mon 19-Nov-12 14:53:12

I bought an extra electric blanket this year - on overpriced credit - so I can put it on the sofa and keep warm, as I won't be able to afford to have the heating on for more than a couple of hours. I think this is shit. I'm not resourceful, I'm desperate.

Nicola should still tell Tony it's Sky away or the highway, though! Twat.

Garlic aren't electric blankets quite expensive to run? Or are you finding it cheaper than heating one room?

The thing with being frugal is that you can look at it as a challenge, but I think people get very demotivated when they can't see a light at the end of the tunnel and then lose the will.

I know when I was made redundant and nearly lost my flat, that's when I wanted a bit of junk food for comfort, stuck in the house with sweats, hat and a duvet on. Perhaps she's lost the will, especially as he doesn't sound very supportive.

garlicbaguette Wed 21-Nov-12 23:50:48

Deffo cheaper! But I did my research - and bought a top-of-the-range 'intelligent' one. I don't notice any increase in electricity use, so Dreamland must be telling the truth when they say it costs pennies to run. Last winter my fuel bills went up by £25 a week, so - as long as I stay stoical about cold rooms - this will pay for itself very quickly.

You're spot on, it feels like a trap with no escape. The second week of each fortnight is incredibly anxious for me: even though I'm adequately provisioned, the knowledge that I've only got £1.60 or so for the whole week makes me feel helpless (I've taken to going out for a can of peas or something, just to feel 'normal'). Counting the cost of everything in pence takes you over - whoever said it muddles your thinking was right.

I can barely remember being able to choose on any criteria other than "Is it absolutely necessary?" and "Is it cheapest here?" Making a £10 mistake sentences me to two weeks on rice and lentils. If I have to call a load of 0845 numbers (eg the DWP and Atos!) I panic because my phone provider charges for them. I need to budget a month ahead for hospital visits and/or Atos interviews, because the bus fare's £10 and I might need a coffee. It's horrid to be always cold, to have to ration your showers, to do less laundry and to let your roots grow out. Like you, I eat comfort food - I never used to have things like jam butties; now I get through a pot of jam a week.

Thank you for getting it smile I never used to, either. It's so bloody easy to 'economise' for a while, when you still have a car and cupboards full of stuff you can use up. I was always sympathetic to the hard-up but, really, I had no clue how desperately all-consuming it becomes.

Somebody gave me some money yesterday. I've bought gin, fags and chocolate grin Of course I should have put it on the meter - or away for my next bus fare - but, bloody hell, when treats are this sparse you start thinking like there really is no tomorrow! For now I'm happy and that probably is helping my mental health ...

If the govt really did want to help the disadvantaged poor, they'd be opening up a whole rash of community projects instead of 'ghosting' the Sure Starts and cutting support workers. There'd be little clubs of many types, all over the place, where folks can get moral support and somewhere warm to spend time productively. But it's easier and cheaper to tighten the screws, blaming us when the anxiety makes us confused and hopeless.

Gosh, that was a bit of a rant blush Must be the gin ... wink

suzyrut Thu 22-Nov-12 12:08:35

Sorry for x-post but with a basic sky package you don't get sky sports!

Enjoy your gin Garlic you sound like you need a treat.

I managed to turn myself around, when I lost my job I was single, so I only had myself to support, although I nearly lost everything I could cope on my own.

Now I have a family, I don't know what I'd do if it happened again. Luckily living here in Switzerland the social support is good.

However you never lose the fear, sometimes it's a good thing questioning everything you buy, but sometimes I feel like a nagging old crone with my DH and DS. But I am the sole breadwinner so it all falls on my shoulders and I end up being the fun police about things. I can't help it.

I'm trying to put away some money for the future that I didn't get a chance to during my twenties. That time was spent getting out of debt sadly.

Good news about the electric blanket though. How much does it cost from Dreamland? I might get one for my nan. She often falls asleep in the living room I suspect.

He has his priorities wrong. I appreciate they are both making sacrifices, but to keep Sky because 'sport is important to him' (WTF? And his kid eating peppers is some kind of luxury leisure activity?) is appalling.

I would also like to point out that there is quite a bit of middle ground between 'fresh' and 'processed'. We buy frozen, chopped peppers now - they are £1 for a bag that lasts for about a month. Sure, they're not as nice as fresh, but they go a hell of a lot further and don't go wrinkly and need to be chucked. Ditto frozen sweetcorn, spinach, peas etc, which are all very versatile.

The bottom line is that it shouldn't be like this though.

Hydrophilic Thu 22-Nov-12 18:09:44

You can get 3 peppers for 80p in LIDL. If he cancelled his Sky he could afford to buy loads.

garlicbaguette Thu 22-Nov-12 18:49:36

Thanks, Binfull smile

The blanket is this one. Pricey, but amazingly efficient.

garlicbaguette Thu 22-Nov-12 18:51:24

Agree with you about frozen veg, Mackerel. They purportedly have more vitamins, too, having been frozen very fresh instead of stored in 'climate controlled' warehouses for a year and a day.

fuzzpig Thu 22-Nov-12 18:54:21

Frozen veg is brilliant. If you're doing a casserole you can just shove it in the pot.

fuzzpig Thu 22-Nov-12 18:55:58

Also, canned tomatoes are apparently even better than fresh as something in the canning process releases more licopenes, or something like that.

garlicbaguette Thu 22-Nov-12 19:25:33

Correct, fuzzpig! (Oops, nutrition bore emerging there blush)

fuzzpig Thu 22-Nov-12 19:29:21

grin

amarylisnightandday Thu 22-Nov-12 23:34:46

Yy to him being a prat about sky. Get over it freeview is free and even the basic virgin thing where you can watch catch up only costs me £14 a month. I'm cancelling because I hardly watch tv.

It's a shit state if affairs though that both parents are working and are still in sure straights sad. Mind you bit doesn't mention if they carry any debt etc?

I can see where he's coming from re being v negative about food but really - it's food or sky mate.

fiventhree Fri 23-Nov-12 17:35:35

Well said UA!

But her h is still selfish.

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