I feel really embarrassed to be posting this. I am a disaster with relationships I do chase the "spark". I finally realised what I was doing and was single since January and stopped focussing my all on a man. I would literally obsess and let them take over my whole life before.
A couple of months ago, I started seeing my DD (7) father. It was comfortable, nice, I stopped feeling lonely, really wanted to settle down, and have that "family" thing. He is a nice person, he loves my son even though not his, he brings round icecream wine and dvds randomly, and I would of said a few hours ago, wants the whole family thing with me to.
He was a car clamper, not the law on clamping and towing has changed he's out of a job, me being nice has applied for every job going he can do on his behalf, helped his Cv and printed off copies. Today he's round needed more CV copies logged into his hotmail to get CV and didn't log out.
Why why did I be so nosey! Theres emails to another woman saying how can he show her how much he love's her, he will do anything. theres one saying, boo you don't know how much I'm in love with you right now, and poems he's sent her, songs and pictures. Last one was yday!
I feel like a fucking twat. Because he's dd father I haven't been bothered putting in boundries like sleeping over as I would another new boyfriend. Iv'e just let him in the kids lifes, and let them see us and been so fine with it all. Let him do the school run so I can get to work less rushed, let him cuddle up on the sofa with us all watching films. Arghh! Iv'e also had unprotected sex this month because I am a Aclass idiot and messed up my pills, didnt get the morning after pill because my plan was after root canal, and didnt expect it to hurt like that. So stupid stupid me just went home went to bed and now been crossing my fingers.
So do I just forget I saw email, I doubt really really doubt he would ever leave me, and suck it up because I like the family aspect, and the kids and my family like my mum think hes the bees knees!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I'm such a fuck up why don't I learn!
Inneedofbrandy · 02/10/2012 19:26
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