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DD's friend's mum has taken the bastard who beat her up back.

8 replies

Jux · 25/05/2012 17:42

They are married, he is the dad.

Old thread here.

The mum has let him back home "on a trial basis". I never really managed to get to talk to her, just once when dd's Friend was dropped off, but the other kids were in the car and she couldn't hang about.

I told Friend that I would really like to have a coffee with her mum, had wanted to for years, and she said her mum would like to too, but it never happened. I did invite her a couple of times, but she couldn't.

It's been a month! A month since he beat the shit out of her. Some of the bruises still show.

Needless to say that Friend is not allowed over any more. We were going to take her off for fish and chips on e beach tomorrow, but not now. He won't let her. Back to stilted phone calls between the two girls, and then only if he's in a good mood.

He used to slap her. I bet he'll be back to doing that again in no time.

I don't know whether I'm more sad or more angry.

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UnCharteredromaeosaur · 25/05/2012 17:46

please stay in touch with the family, as much as you can

these 'men' are clever, i'm sure he's promised the family he's changed blah blah blah

they'll need you soon - that bastard will get his comeuppance and it'll be friends like you that help this happen

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 25/05/2012 17:48

It is sad, isn't it? Of course she never turned up for coffee. She'd know what you would say. Adults are free to cock their own lives up, of course, but it's such a pity when their kids end up isolated and damaged through no fault of their own. Their daughter probably splits her time trying to keep the peace, dancing round Dad on eggshells and feeling guilty for wanting to get the hell out.

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Jux · 25/05/2012 18:05

It seems like she's the scapegoat as he doesn't do it to the other children - there are 5 - but she's the only girl and also the eldest. He would slap her if one of her brother's hit her and she retaliated, but the boys apparently were never told off; dd has confirmed this (but then you can't tell for sure can you?). All 4 brothers are allowed out on their own to wander round the town on a Saturday but she is not allowed further than the driveway.

I'm just wondering if there's any mileage in phoning SS to say he slaps her. I so want her to come and live with us.

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UnCharteredromaeosaur · 25/05/2012 18:13

Jux you can't call SS so the girl can live you, but you could to get her some help in what sounds like a horrific situation

if asked, is the girl quite open about what happens?

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TheHappyHissy · 25/05/2012 18:13

Why not call the NSPCC for advice? tell them what you know. If there is a child safety issue here, something has to be done, surely.

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Jux · 25/05/2012 18:28

Oh I know she can't come and live here! I just don't want her to have to live with him. She knows if she's ever tempted to run away she can come here and we'll do what we can to keep her safe.

She is fairly open. Maybe a month of freedom will have had an effect on her, and she and her mum will decide together that it's better without him. Crossed fingers, hope springs eternal, etc.

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UnCharteredromaeosaur · 25/05/2012 18:31

i'd call SS then, she sounds like she needs an ally then

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Jux · 25/05/2012 19:18

Will do, then.

Now I just have to wait until dd has gone to bed so she doesn't know I've done it. Might have to wait until tomorrow.

I know it's got to be hard for F's mum with all 5, and the boys are a handful, but really, he's been doing it for years and years, and she'd finally got him out. Sigh.