Icelandic divorce update

[Icelandic]

Thank you to everyone who contributed to my last thread re early menopause. I opened a letter yesterday and I am going to copy it here. Not quite sure why, really. Perhaps because some people said that he will never get divorced. I am feeling much, much better compared to when I started the last one and I am very touched that so many people took the time to help.

Dear x,
Thank you for your call. After you dropped in the undertaking (?) I sent it on to (wife's solicitors) and I enclose a copy of the letter I sent them for your information.

We are not going to get a final Consent Order until the divorce is over and that will be at least 8 wks from now assuming they get on and do what they next need to do.

Both of you, when we file the Consent Order, will need to file a Statement of Info form. A copy of that is encl and I would ask you to complete the details, so far as you are concered, as the petitioner.

If you need any help, we can go thru it together. There is no particular hurry (?!) but I wanted you to see what both you and (wife) will have to file and which the judge will see when the C O is lodged at Court for approval.

I will make every effort now to persuade (wife's) solicitors get on with the divorce and finalise the financial settlement.

Yrs, etc

Then there is form where dp and his dw have to record their capital and income.

So it does look like he is getting divorced after 6 years separation.

Thank you everyone, I

[annh]

Who is that letter supposed to be from? Your partner's solicitor? Have you paraphrased or is that actually how it was written?

[LadyLapsang]

Hi Icelandic,

The language sounds a bit unusual / informal for a solicitor e.g.
use of 'get on with', 'go thru it', and 'assuming they get on with...'
Maybe a solicitor can give their opinion.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

Icelandic, from your other thread :

"and why would the letter come to your address when you are not living together? You have to provide lawyers with proof of your address before they take you on as a client"
KristinaM Wed 08-Sep-10 20:21:43

" ... and has on occasion been known to produce letters that appear to back this up. These have been left around on occasion for people to " stumble across "
dignified Wed 08-Sep-10 23:54:38

I'm sorry, but can you really take this letter at face value? :(

[BagofHolly]

Are you married? No.

Have you set a date? No.

Are you recognised by his family and friends as his partner? No.

Are you living together? No.

Has he made any REAL commitment to you? No.

Are you trying for a baby? No.

Was he totally unaware that women's fertility declines with age? No.

Does this letter sound real? No.

Does he sound like a genuine bloke, in love with you and wanting what's best for you? No.

Does he bring you ice cream? Yes.


You add it up and decide if you're wasting even more of your time.

[MmeLindt]

Is that exactly as written from the solicitor? Either it is not from the solicitor or the solicitor writes really badly. Strange wording, very informal.

Is the solicitor a friend?

[AnyFucker]

[expatinscotland]

What BagofHolly wrote.

I'm so glad you have your DD and didn't end up completely childless because of this fuckwit.

[Jux]

Thinking of you, Icelandic. Hope it is all going how you want it.

The wording is odd for a solicitor, but hey, who knows? Maybe after so many years their relationship has become much more informal. Wait and see?

Fingers crossed for you.

[madonnawhore]

I second what Bag of Holly said. Whether he's actually getting divorced or not should be a moot point by now. It's a red herring.

The bigger issue is the fact that he's been treating you like a ddirty little secret for years and has been consistently putting you at the bottom of his priority list.

Even if he does finally get divorced, that doesn't necessarily mean he's going to marry you. Sorry if this sounds harsh but you already wasted the last of your childbearing years on this loser and it would be such a shame if he were able to keep stringing you along without you challenging him on his sub-standard behaviour.

[nearlytoolate]

I hope it is good news, but I can't help feeling that you should be talking to your dp rather than opening his mail. How did you explain to him that you'd opened it?

[PollyTechnique]

Just be a little bit careful here, Icelandic.

If he does go through with the divorce, presumably you are hoping that he will go public with you, and normalise your relationship.

But he's not going to have an overnight character or personality transplant, is he? He's been hypocritical (his religion), deceitful, (his wife, children, friends and acquaintances), and callous disrespectful as to your feelings and wishes.

Basically, he has behaved in a morally weak and cowardly way. As such he has revealed his character to you. Do not ignore, or trust that he will transform into Mr Wonderful Husband. What will happen if/when he faces another difficult situation? Will he manufacture another web of deceit to make him feel okay?

Just take care of yourself and have your eyes wide open.

[Quattrocento]

That letter has not been drafted by a solicitor.

[expatinscotland]

This letter wasn't even drafted by a legal secretary. Because he/she would have been raked over the coals for such.

I'd know, too.

[Orangerie]

Icelandic, I would wait and see. I have letters like that dating from almost 3 years ago... we are still very much married despite him being entertaining a "new partner" since 2 years ago.

[emmyloulou]

If that letter was written by a solicitor or their representative, I'm the Pope.

Sorry, even minor letters are much more formal and professional, I don't know one solicitor that would ever send a letter out like that.