Which lube to use for outdoor anal sex and other driveway related questions

(13 Posts)
Ladymuck Tue 09-Oct-12 12:11:22

Our driveway slopes downhill towards our garage and house, and the paving on it needs to be replaced. The incline is probably around 1 in 8.

So what questions do I need to ask the various companies trying to get the business of re paving my driveway? What materials do I want on my driveway, and anything else I need to consider? I have brochures full of bricks and slabs, and no strong opinions. I am hoping to move house in about 18 months-2 years time so want it presentable, and an asset rather than a liability.

[sorry for title - desperate for advice on a very dull (for me) topic]

piratecat Tue 09-Oct-12 12:12:53

haha, can't be of any assistance drive wise or anally, but love the thread tile !!

MothershipG Tue 09-Oct-12 12:17:43

Brilliant! grin Sorry I can't help!

PrincessSymbian Tue 09-Oct-12 12:21:37

Perhaps Tarmac, not very pretty to look at but it is cheap and hard wearing.
Very dissapointed that my expertise on lube was not required!

tawse57 Tue 09-Oct-12 12:45:48

You want hard-wearing and waterproof bricks on a driveway as opposed to what looks prettiest.

I recommend you drive around the area and have a look at numerous driveways near you. Stop and ask the house owners for their advice, which companies, what lessons learnt, what they would do differently?

Hey, you can even have outdoor anal sex on their drive just to grab their attention.

Maeb Tue 09-Oct-12 13:23:04

a) Stork SB - No1 for bum-lubing

b) Personally I think brick looks smarter. As tawse57 recommended have a look at the better houses in your neighbourhood and see what they have. You don't want to spend too much if you're thinking of moving.

shrinkingnora Tue 09-Oct-12 13:41:15

Ask them about drainage and maintenance. Do you want a weed supressing membrane underneath? Regret not getting one but think most of the weeds grow in between the bricks anyway. Have you got adequate drainage currently or will they need to do lots to make it good enough. Will they build a soakaway underneath? How do they intend to check for gas lines etc. Does the dropped kerb outside the house need anything doing to it? We had one end of ours redone as it looked horrible against the new drive. Can they do gates too if you need them?

Ladymuck Tue 09-Oct-12 13:57:51

Thanks. There is quite a mixture in the neighbourhood, depending on age I guess. I was looking for any firsthand experiences on here really (such as the drop kerb one). Anyone preferred brick/Tarmac/gravel? Though am assuming not gravel on an incline!

shrinkingnora Tue 09-Oct-12 14:06:47

We had our bricks done a couple of years ago and though the colour is duller it still looks really smart. Ask how long they think it will take, too. Because the ones who said it would take a day were obviously unrealistis but he ones who wanted a daily rate and reckoned it would take a week were pbviously chancers. The company we went with had a file full of photos of the ones they'd done and would give the address of them if we wanted to go and see or talk to the customers (obviously with the customers permission). We got five quotes and went with the mid range one that had long experience.

I found that once they started comeing round to give quotes I started to get a much clearer idea of what I wanted. They don't charge to quote so just get someone round and have a chat about the options.

Lexilicious Tue 09-Oct-12 14:10:18

there are new rules for hard bumming landscaping now aren't there? materials should be porous so you don't have runoff all coming down towards the house making a big felching squelching puddle.

have a look on your local council planning department page. New drives need some level of building regs approval so it might all be there. I think I read about this in a marketing email from buildersuperstore.co.UK come to think of it.

Ladymuck Tue 09-Oct-12 20:57:18

I keep hearing about arco (sp?) drains, so I'm guessing that is something to do with drainage.

Why doesn't John Lewis do driveways?!

Rhubarbgarden Tue 09-Oct-12 22:56:45

Drainage is absolutely key with a drive that slopes towards your house. Essential to have a porous surface, so pavers are the thing to go for rather than Tarmac. Try to include flower borders if possible - they will soak up some rainwater and also vastly improve kerb appeal for when you are trying to sell.

You could think about just paving where your car tyres will go and having grass or low planting in between - it helps with absorbing water and looks prettier.

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