Did your dc have any input when choosing a school? Dd wants to go to school with her cousins.

[katalex]

Dd really wants to go to school with her cousins and I think she will be really upset if she doesn't. The problem is that this school is 10 miles away from our house. My niece and nephew live down the road from me and my nephew is at the school which is round the corner from my mum's house. When my nephew went there it was undersubscribed. My sister works full time so sent her son there mainly because it was convenient. Last year the school was oversubscribed, although there are plans for a new school to be built in the area by September 2009. Also, when dh and I vistited the school we didn't like it as much as our 2 local schools. We didn't get the same good feeling. Another reason I don't really want dd to go to this school is because she only plays with her cousin at pre-school and won't play with any of the other children. I'm worried that she won't make any of her own friends or her cousin will abandon her to play with the other girls.

I know this sounds really muddled but I'm torn between making dd happy and getting her into a school that we like and feel dd will do well in.

[NCbirdy]

So she is 4/5? in that case none at all! At secondary it is important IMO at this age it is up to you to do what is best not just make her happy (after all following that theory she would probably be on a diet of ice-cream sandwiches )

[PortAndLemon]

Send her to a local school. It makes more sense from almost every angle and your DD will get over it.

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

My dd wanted to stay in her rubbishy CofE school that was attatched to her nursery because that it where her friends went. I wanted her go to the v v good school that will be local to us when we move but was torn for the same reasons as you.

I needn't have worried I had all of two days of "don't like new school don't have friends" before it changed to "can i go to x's house for tea mum?"

[katalex]

She's 3 (4 in March) so I guess that makes me look even sillier

SheSells - Good to hear that your dd settled in so quickly. That makes me feel better about the decision.

[BoccaDellaVerita]

You also need to think about the practicalities. If this is an over-subscribed school 10 miles from home, it's very unlikely that you will get a place, even if you apply for one. Cousins won't benefit from any priority given to siblings.

If you have more confidence in the local school, trust your instincts. At this age, any disappointment that your daughter feels about not going to her cousins' school will be very short-lived. Can you cultivate friendships with other children from pre-school who will be going to your preferred school? Could you invite them to play? Evwn if that doesn't work, your daughter will soon make new friends at school.

[janinlondon]

Katalex I don't think you are silly at all. DD chose her school at age 4 and adores it, but that was because of aspects of the curriculum that appealed to her, not because of friends or family. Your local schools do sound like a better bet all round.

[katalex]

BDV - Dd goes to a pre-school near my mum. I currently work full time but I'll be changing my hours to fit in with school so I can take her and pick her up. It will be nice when she has friends in our local area.

Thanks janinlondon. We've seen 3 schools near our home and we've asked dd each time if she liked them. There was only one she said she didn't like. We didn't like it either but we didn't tell her that before we asked her. We didn't want to influence her answer.

[bozza]

To answer the title "absolutely none at all".

I think you know the answer is to go with one of the local schools. She will soon make a new circle of friends.

[AMumInScotland]

At 4 or 5 I'd listen to their opinions, but then do what I think is the best thing overall - in this case, I think her reasons are not ones I'd be giving any weight to. The local school sounds much the more sensible choice, and I'm sure she'll make friends there in no time. From what you say she'll actually make friends better without her cousin there, which is better for her in the long run.

[piscesmoon]

I thought you were going to say she was 11yrs. I wouldn't take her views into account at that age,especially when it is based on her cousin being there. She will still see her cousin but would be better off making her own friendships at school.

[katalex]

Thanks everyone. You've made me put it into perspective now.

[MollieO]

My ds did school visits with me (when he was 3!) and was a big influence on my choice. We went to what I thought would be my favourite school first and the head completely ignored my ds (hard to ignore as he asked lots and lots of questions, all of which the head ignored). The other school I looked at more as a comparision rather than a real desire to send my ds. The head engaged completely with my ds.

I asked him which school he preferred and he said the second one. Fortunately I agreed! Although he was only 3 at the time he came up with a whole host of reasons why he liked one school and didn't like the other. Most of which were surprisingly sensible. Eg he liked the school where we saw children actually having lessons; at the other school the head ensured we did our tour during lunch time even though our appointment was for 11am and we were on time. Have since met a number of other parents who had the same experience. I wouldn't have minded if the head had been up front but he did take us off on his tour saying "let's see some of the classes, oh sorry I see we are too late".

[piscesmoon]

I think that is very different MollieO, taking your DC and seeing how they would fit in is a good idea but OP's DD hadn't seen any of the schools, she was choosing it purely because her cousin was there. She was much too young to appreciate that relying on a cousin was not going to be good for her.