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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Should I mention this to someone at school?

46 replies

Poorteacher · 28/01/2021 19:23

So, a bit of an odd one, but I don't know if I should mention it to school. Name changed in case of recognition. Penis beaker, Korean lady in garden, etc.

I was in the living room today at school when I heard someone crying and talking, and recognised the voice. Our window leads directly to a little alcove with a bench and often hear conversations. Downside of living in a nice spot!

It was a teacher in DS's school. I see her sometimes walking past. My DS is in a different year. She was on the phone to someone and really, really upset seemingly about work.
'I can't do this anymore'.
'The parents all hate me'
'I don't know how to help them'
'I don't understand the tech.'
'I'm not coping.'
'I'm a f%cking idiot'
She ranted for a while about the work, sobbed on the bench, and went.
My heart hurts for her.

She was, by all accounts, a brilliant teacher before the lockdown. I wonder if I should tell someone I know who works in the school. Maybe they could help? Keep a friendly eye on her? I don't want to embarass her though. Even as I am typing this i think I should just stay quiet.

Would you mention it? The person I know ar school is kind and compassionate. I don't think she'd be the type of gossip, and could hopefully approach it tactfully.

WWYD?

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Original poster

Poorteacher · 28/01/2021 19:25

Oh and piss off Daily Mail.

OP posts:

Gizlotsmum · 28/01/2021 19:30

Do the school seem supportive? I would mention it, or maybe send an email thanking all the teachers for their efforts?

OverTheRainbow88 · 28/01/2021 19:31

I would leave it as she’s clearly got someone she’s able to talk to which she was doing on the phone.

I sometimes talk like that to my OH but I wouldn’t never say it to a work colleague

Fefifoefum · 28/01/2021 19:34

No absolutely not. She might just of been having a bad day.

itispersonal · 28/01/2021 19:34

Unfortunately this isn't usual for a lot of teachers and teaching staff, I could have walked on Monday!

Could you do an anonymous thank you- chocolate, flowers, a card to the teacher. And just say thank you! We do need picking up, as we are exhausted. If you didn't want to involve other staff at the school.

Like most people we are stressed, anxious with the situation throw on top double workload of being in class and also doing recorded lessons for each subject, a lot of teachers are at breaking point! Plus having own children to deal with! Like I say like most people overworked and stressed.

But unlike any other work place, we are being attacked daily- media, government, parents- sending too much home, not enough home!

itispersonal · 28/01/2021 19:35

Isn't unusual!

Xerochrysum · 28/01/2021 19:35

I would pretend I never heard anything and forget about it.

CeibaTree · 28/01/2021 19:46

No please don't report what you heard eavesdropping on a private conversation to anyone else. Everyone is entitled to a rant to someone they trust, it doesn't mean that they need or want anyone else to decide that they need help if they haven't sought it out themselves.

camsie · 28/01/2021 19:50

Definitely don't say anything!

PyjamaFan · 28/01/2021 19:53

It's nice of you to worry but no, definitely don't tell the school.

Unfortunately at the moment many of us are feeling like this. It sounds like she has a good friend or relative that she can confide in.

I agree with a PP, a generic message of support to the headteacher is a nice idea. Our headteacher passes on such messages to all the staff and it means a lot. Often we only hear the complaints and moaning.

TheVanguardSix · 28/01/2021 19:55

THIS is the perfect prescription.

simonisnotme · 28/01/2021 19:56

why would you say anything to the school about her ?
she was having a private convo/rant its got naff all to do with anyone else especially school and you unless she wants it to be

Original poster

Poorteacher · 28/01/2021 19:57

An anonymous, general message to the head, or to the teacher might be a good idea. Its hard not to want to help!

The rational part of my brain is saying to ignore it. The school really are doing a good job though.

OP posts:

CommanderBurnham · 28/01/2021 20:00

Maybe organise a whip round from the parents?? Or a nice letter from your DC telling her how great she is doing??

TenShortStories · 28/01/2021 20:03

Saying something to the head about her not coping might not help at all though, in fact I can imagine it going tits up in several different ways.

A message of thanks to the teacher (and chocs or flowers) might provide a bit of reassurance that she's doing better than she thinks though.

Wtfmayte · 28/01/2021 20:05

Nooooo. Don't bring it up on her behalf. That's her decision alone.

And how mortified would she be to know a parent heard her tearful rant!!

If you wnat to cheer her up send her a card and flowers anonymously through school saying what a wonderful teacher she is!!

cansu · 28/01/2021 20:06

Absolutely not. How would you feel if you were sounding off to a friend about work problems and someone decided to let your employer know. It would be completely wrong to do this.

Strictly1 · 28/01/2021 20:08

As a headteacher I would really want to know if that was a member of my staff so that I could look after them.

I am so sorry that she feels that way.

VaggieMight · 28/01/2021 20:13

You weren't supposed to hear the conversation so pretend you didn't.

itsgettingweird · 28/01/2021 20:16

Perhaps send in some flowers and chocs and a sealed card (sellotape not licked!)

You could mention hearing her upset and that you wanted her to know that you value her, always did etc.

I've had many a brilliant present from parents over the years. The best and the one that sticks is a card where a parent remembered me doing something in their child's second month in the school. They were leaving for college.
I'd forgotten the crisis I'd averted (daily occurrence) but the fact it had meant so much to the parent they remembered it meant everything.

Words are great healers.

Original poster

Poorteacher · 28/01/2021 20:26

I thought the head might think similarly Strictly, or at least the member of staff I know. But I don't really know the head so I don't know how they'd treat it. I know managers aren't all compassionate.

Anonymous bunch of flowers and chocs to be sent I guess.

OP posts:

Mammyloveswine · 28/01/2021 20:26

Please do not say anything to the school..she may get in trouble for not "being professional" and for talking about school in a public place..

I've had a shit time lately and rant to my best friend...I do not want my head to know my moans!!!

Does your child go to the school? If so send a little gift would be lovely!

mineofuselessinformation · 28/01/2021 20:29

Absolutely not.
The chances are she was venting to a friend, and is likely plastering a face on for her students, so they won't even know how she feels.
If it is affecting her teaching, the school are probably already aware.
Maybe just offer her a 'hi, how are you?' if you see her - she'll talk about if it she wants, but not if she wants to keep it private.
It's nice of you to care, though, OP.

RealisticSketch · 28/01/2021 20:40

Definitely do not share what you heard. It was private. However, clearly the teacher feels like everyone hates her, and is having a tough time so an anonymous gift +/or card to give the opposite message... Appreciated, doing amazing job in tough circumstances etc etc. Just the ticket and the only thing to do with the information in them you have accidentally acquired

Original poster

Poorteacher · 28/01/2021 20:54

Thanks all. Its a high achieving school with outstanding provision, very detailed worksheets, lots of videos and some Zooms. Quick reply to queries. I guess it must be a lot to cope with and deliver. I'm ordering a hamper and some chocolates now with an anonymous thank you card.

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