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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Taking a break between schools

25 replies

ToffeeWhirl · 10/03/2014 18:01

Is this allowed? My DS2 is unhappy at his present (state) school and is waiting for a forthcoming place at a local private school. If we take him out straight away, he will be out of school for about a month at most. I think it would do him good to have a break from school before starting afresh, but do I have to tell the authorities what I'm doing?

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teacherwith2kids · 10/03/2014 18:15

I did the same - though it was over a term in our case. I followed the procedure for deregistering a child for elective Home Education - basically a letter to the first school saying that I wished DS to be removed from the register as I was making my own arrangements for his education.

Original poster

ToffeeWhirl · 10/03/2014 18:28

Thanks, teacher. So you didn't need to say which school your DS was going to?

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RockinHippy · 10/03/2014 19:16

I've done pretty the same thing too & no, no need to say which school.

You need to write a letter to the school, I would advise email or registered letter & you need to get a reply from the HT to make it formal

Sample letter in this link...

HERE

Currently home schooling in the hope of starting another school we have already applied for next term, otherwise will be home schooling until the end if this school year.

Lots of reasons we needed to do this for DD, but in only a few weeks I've seen a huge improvement in her health & stress levels :)

Good luck

Original poster

ToffeeWhirl · 10/03/2014 19:33

That's great - thanks Rockin. Glad to hear the break is doing your DD so much good .

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QuiteQuietly · 10/03/2014 19:38

We did the same, but were also moving area. So we left first school, saying we were moving area, moved house, then took a break before applying for a school place in the new county. Didn't notify anyone and no one seemed the least bit peturbed by the gap in attendance, even at the new school who knew we'd had a gap. Really glad we did it though. DS grew about a foot once out of previous stressful environment and after two months was actually looking forward to starting the new school.

Hope the school change goes well for your son, OP.

Original poster

ToffeeWhirl · 10/03/2014 20:00

What a good idea, Quiet. I bet it did your son the world of good. I'd love to do the same for DS2.

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heather1 · 10/03/2014 20:03

I did this too. My Ds was being bullied. It did him the world of good, we had time together, it helped our relationship and he felt safe at home with me. He was 8.
We did a bit of work each day e.g. Reading, some math, investigated things he is interested in.
I was sad when he started at his new school tbh.
Go for it!

RockinHippy · 10/03/2014 20:16

Yeah, bullying played a part in our decision too, including an undermining bully of teacher

For those of you doing this, we've found IXL Math, to be a great, year by year, curriculum based online maths worksheet site - DD loves it, hard to get her off it :) & before leaving her previous school I ran it passed the head of maths dept. & they were impressed by it & it is really linked to the UK curriculum - & as a bonus, its cheap too :)

RockinHippy · 10/03/2014 20:17

Should have added, it gives us parents weekly reports so we can see how they are doing & where if any gaps are :)

teacherwith2kids · 10/03/2014 20:36

DS was a selective mute (school-induced, through stress) when we deregistered him from School 1. We were moving to another town anyway, and the months of HE 'mended' him in preparation for his new school. I was VERY nervous when he went back into School 2, but he thived. Without the HE in between, I am sure that the transition would have been much less smooth.

amazinglondon · 11/03/2014 19:45

I did this for my DS too - one of the best decisions I have ever made! DS loved it, his eyes lit up and academically he flew. Do not even think about it!

I was sad when we put him in his new school but knew it was the right thing for him longer term.

oodyboodyboocs · 11/03/2014 19:53

We did this too. It is important to phrase your letter to say that you are de-registering your dc as otherwise the headteacher will not be able to remove them from the register until the new school confirms that they are registered with them and they will be classed as absent from school which may be classed as unauthorized and could lead to a fine.

I found that the break did my dd the world of good when we did it and meant she was in a better frame of mind when she started her new school. Hope the move works out well for your ds.

Original poster

ToffeeWhirl · 11/03/2014 20:14

Oh, lots of positive experiences here .

oody - thank you for that tip.

DS2 has been at home with me today because I kept him off a school trip he was dreading. We've had a lovely day and he is so relaxed and happy, in marked contrast to when he's at school (like a black cloud).

I've typed up the deregistration letter. Just need to sort out a date now (asap), then I'm going to take him out.

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RockinHippy · 12/03/2014 10:52

You can put any date you like, you call the shots, but we found it best to let DD have time to say goodbye to her friends & teachers, sort of closure, rather than just disappearing.

Her HT thankfully was great & allowed her part days school for a week, which meant she didn't have to be in class with the teacher who was demoralising & stressing her out so much, she made a cake in school to share out & the kids made her a goodbye card, so she left on a high, rather than skulking away deflated & defeated - if this is possible to arrange similar for your DS, then I would recommend it.

teacher that's really good to hear that your DS was fine in his next school, this is something that worried me as DD, though a toughy & faces it anyway, she has become very mistrustful of girls her age & visibly backed against the wall visiting the yr6 class in her new school, yet walking confidently & bubbly into every other class they showed her.

Glad your son has benefitted health wise too - after dealing with daily IBS flare ups, exhausted by her diagnosed EDS, helped along by stress & not sleeping barely at all, depressive episodes & nasty eczema flare ups that kept getting infected, daily headache, to list just a few things -

Since finishing school, mine has slept well, had one minor IBS flare ups, the eczema has gone completely & one minor headache & is her old bubbly self again :) - so sad it can affect them so badly when in DDs case, she was considered a "model pupil" & just lives to learn, as a lot of our DCs probably are & I hate that it came to this just so wrong at this stage of her education, but something had to give & I was going to let it be her health & well being :(

Original poster

ToffeeWhirl · 12/03/2014 13:05

Rockin - yes, I was thinking along those lines myself and agree with you that it's important DS2 says a proper goodbye to his friends. I thought I'd make cakes for him to take in and share on his last day.

I'm worried about telling my own school-mum friends too, as they are a lovely bunch and will be shocked to know that we are moving on. Am hoping to keep in touch with them all though.

DS2 is also showing physical symptoms, which was one of the things that alerted me to his stress. He has a lot of vocal tics at the moment and I really hope they will diminish or disappear once he's left his present school. He also complains of stomach aches every day and has described particular symptoms in his Maths lessons which sound like he is feeling faint.

Still no word from the new headteacher though and I just want to be absolutely sure she wants him, though I can't imagine she wouldn't (as he is such a sweet-natured, sensitive, creative, generally lovely boy - not that I'm biased or anything ).

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Original poster

ToffeeWhirl · 19/03/2014 10:56

Turns out the new school don't have a place yet, but they have promised DS2 will get the next place available, so I am deregistering him today and will home educate him for now.

Thanks for the link to that letter, Rockin - I've used that as my template for the letter I'm handing to the headteacher today.

DS2 was so relieved when we said we were going to home educate him until he could start at the new school. He was terrified we were going to send him back to the old school.

I can hear him singing to himself now as he plays with his Lego .

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ratqueen · 19/03/2014 19:52

Just read this thread and feel really happy for your son toffee. What a nice thing to do for him.

Original poster

ToffeeWhirl · 19/03/2014 20:18

Thanks, ratqueen. It makes me happy to be able to do it for him. I'm sure the break will do him a lot of good - and it's lovely to see more of him .

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007licencetospill · 19/03/2014 21:33

Well done. It will probably take a few months for him to get used to home ed. it might be worth giving him a proper break from work and then starting when he's interested. There is a huge home ed scene in most places and it can be very social.

Original poster

ToffeeWhirl · 27/03/2014 15:09

Quick update: DS2 is now a happy boy. He told me yesterday that he looks forward to every day. He is noticeably cheerier and I often hear him singing to himself whilst he plays. We are having a lovely time together. Today, his Dad has taken him on a 'home school' trip up to the Science Museum in London.

Am so glad we took him out of school.

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Frikadellen · 27/03/2014 17:10

Thank you for the update happy he is doing so well.

bobot · 27/03/2014 22:08

We did this - he's been at home for 18 months now, and about to start a new school next week. Only intended to keep him home for a bit but we had so much fun that we kept going. The time is right for him to give school a go, and he wants to, and I'm glad we did it!

Dancergirl · 27/03/2014 22:21

How lovely.

I would definitely have done the same in your situation. Enjoy your time together.

Original poster

ToffeeWhirl · 28/03/2014 00:38

Thanks all.

bobot - how lovely that you had so much fun with your boy .

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Original poster

ToffeeWhirl · 28/03/2014 18:13

Rocking - just wanted to let you know that DS2 had a leaving do this afternoon, just as your DD did. We baked cupcakes to share out and took lots of photos. The children were all hugging him and giving him little cards and notes that they'd made. It was very sweet and meant that DS had a very happy last memory.

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