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Primary education

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Original poster

feeling sad for ds

28 replies

piies · 20/07/2010 21:56

My ds is a well behaved and very well mannered according to his school. He's great at reading and good at maths, but struggles with his handwriting and organisation. Has recently been asessed as being dyspraxic by a private O.T.
I was saddened by his report as despite getting level 4's in most things apart from writing (he's Y4) his teacher has recorded his effort as satisfactory/unsatisfactory. This is because he doesn't write very much. I told him that I was really proud of him anyway.
Today he brought home the stuff from his tray which included a reward chart. He had 4 stickers on it - there are about 50 spaces. That is all he has got for the entire year. He said that stickers are given for things like neat handwriting and that most children had completed a couple of charts. I felt so sad for him. I want to say something but feel it's too late now.
Anyway - am I daft to feel sad about this?

OP posts:
belledechocolatefluffybunny · 20/07/2010 21:59

Poor lad. I'd say something. If he was dyslexic then he wouldn't be told off for not being able to read as well as everyone else (I'd hope not anyway)

Original poster
piies · 20/07/2010 22:01

They break up tomorrow though. It'll be hard to approach the teacher. They are supposed to be a dyslexia friendly school.

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MumInBeds · 20/07/2010 22:03

Aww, I'm not surprised this makes you sad, I have a dyspraxic son too so I can completely relate but my experience of school has been very different.

In your situation I would be so upset for my boy. I think it is probably too late this year to say anything but when he has a new teacher next year (assuming that to be the case) I'd go in and have a quiet word asking if he or she could be more encouraging.

Much as you are probably feeling distressed now do try to downplay this to your son, the more he thinks this chart matters to you the more it will matter to him, he'll take his cues from you. Keep positive and keep encouraging him, if he is getting Level 4s now he is clearly a bright lad.

loopyloops · 20/07/2010 22:03

I'd say something, but I'd also use the chart over the summer and really encourage him to fill it up with really lovely stickers every time he reads to you or writes anything. Get him to write your shopping list, absolutely anything you can think of. He needs lots of praise and encouragement. Poor little mite.

Original poster
piies · 20/07/2010 22:06

that's a good idea loopyloops - he'll like that. He's so laid back about things - he said that it didn't matter.

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Original poster
piies · 20/07/2010 22:06

I may mention it to the Head tomorrow.

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CarGirl · 20/07/2010 22:08

I would speak to the school, it's really appalling that he's been set the same achievement level to gain stickers - it should be what is a good effort or achievement for him!

Feenie · 20/07/2010 22:08

I have a dyspraxic child in my class, and have used a programme called 'Speed Up' with him this year. I'd really recommend it - it concentrates on exercises which helped the child to strengthen the muscles needed to write, and patterns which allow handwriting to flow more freely, so increasing speed. It's really helped him. He's gone from writing a small paragraph in 45 minutes to writing a side of A4. It's taken a year to make this kind of jump, and the programme is only designed to last around 12 weeks, but he liked it so much that we did it for the whole year.

MollieO · 20/07/2010 22:09

I would mention it and keep a close eye on it next year to avoid the same thing happening again. We get to see ds's work at parents' evening so if he had a sticker chart we would have seen that then. Could you do something like that so you can monitor happens?

MollieO · 20/07/2010 22:11

I should add that ds has SEN but there was no mention of it in his school report. Instead there were a lot of critical comments from his teacher which directly related to his SEN issues. I'm hoping for a more sympathetic teacher for next year.

Original poster
piies · 20/07/2010 22:11

Thanks I think I will write a letter to the Head tomorrow. I don't think speaking to the teacher will make any difference for him with regards to next year.

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CarGirl · 20/07/2010 22:12

Is it worth leaving it and speaking in September to the teacher he will have that year?

Original poster
piies · 20/07/2010 22:13

Mollie O are they in the same class?!

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Original poster
piies · 20/07/2010 22:15

cargirl maybe
I think it may get their backs up if I say something tomorrow. Maybe I'll wait till September and see how it goes.
Feenie I'll google that programme

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CarGirl · 20/07/2010 22:15

MollieO seriously I would complain! Does your dc have an IEP?

Original poster
piies · 20/07/2010 22:16

No he isn't on the register at all

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Original poster
piies · 20/07/2010 22:17

sorry I thought you meant me!

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Carmel206 · 20/07/2010 22:17

Agree with above, but something positive from his teacher is probably more meaningful in some ways. It is difficult to raise these things but I think I would speak to them tomorrow if it were my child. Could you explain how demotivating it is for him and ask if they could mark his achievments in some other way before they break up, a note in his course work or something to say how well he has done in his reading perhaps or even how hard he has tried? Surely they could quickly run up a little certificate for him? I am sad for you DS. Self esteem is important, I thought part foa schools role was to try to encourage the confidence of the children as well.

Original poster
piies · 20/07/2010 22:21

I just don't know how I could go about it without ds noticing and also speak quietly to the teacher as she'll be innundated with gift givers.

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MollieO · 20/07/2010 22:22

Fortunately no he isn't and his next teacher seems very nice. Ds does have an IEP and has three goals on it. He achieved one and is wide of the mark on the other two. We have had a miserable year and I've given up a bit. I'm hoping that we don't have the same issues next year tbh.

piies I would definitely raise it with his next teacher to ensure he gets more support and also speak to the SENCO.

CarGirl · 20/07/2010 22:23

It shouldn't be a big thing to get an IEP - all it means is that they set objectives for the child and how they are going to achieve them, follow up each term etc etc etc. I've always seen them as a prevention of them getting too far behind rather IYSWIM.

Carmel206 · 20/07/2010 22:41

Piies, could you pass her a note explaining it in the morning? If she does nothing then you can address it next year with new teacher . If she does try to rectify it then your DS feels a little better - either way, you have raised awareness and as long as you phrase it politley you haven't anythign to loose?

IndigoBell · 21/07/2010 07:28

piies - my son has dyspraxia too.

Over summer we're teaching him type (using nessy fingers)

I think as well as taking this up with the school, over the summer holidays you should either do a handwriting program (like Speed Up or Handwriting without tears) Or teach him to type - and get school to let him type in class.

Good luck. We've gone with the typing route....

Original poster
piies · 21/07/2010 10:33

His typing is excellent - he is a whiz on the PC! He taught himself really.
I will get that speed up - thanks.

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coppertop · 21/07/2010 10:40

I'd be tempted to write to the school. Not in the sense of complaining about an individual teacher but to explain what has happened with your ds and the school's reward system. School policies are supposed to be written with SN being taken into account. If children can only get rewards for things like neat writing then this particular system has failed.

I hope things are better for your ds in his new class.

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