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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

not allowing 12 yr old to go to concert

21 replies

madwomanacrosstheroad · 17/02/2013 22:25

my dd has turned 12 earlier this month. Earlier today her friend phoned asking her to come along to a concert of the script.
It seems she was going to go with another girl who has pulled out.
I explained (or tried) that i feel 12 is way to young to go to a concert without a supervising adult or much older responsible teenager.
To be sure i am not way out of touch i also phoned my adult son who a couple of years ago was a wild teenager from hell for advice and he agreed that it was a mad idea.
Predictably i am now told i am weird, old, dont have a clue etc.
I am not going to change my mind but would like to know what other people think.

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deleted203 · 17/02/2013 22:28

You're not weird! I wouldn't let two 12 year olds go off to a concert alone either. I would let my 12 yo go if her friend's mum was going along to watch . But definitely not if it were just the two of them.

cheesesarnie · 17/02/2013 22:30

you know your daughter best so if you think no then it's a no!

my 12 year old dd would be a yes but that's me and mine!

pengymum · 17/02/2013 22:34

12 is way too young in my opinion. But then I am not a concert goer myself - don't see the point of going to huge venues where you can't actually see anybody or hear anything! And people seem to be letting kids do all sorts these days that I don't agree with at all!

PantsInWash · 17/02/2013 22:37

I think it would be ok if there was an adult I knew with them, but if they're on their own, then definitely not. Definitely with pengy on the old fogey feeling

exexpat · 17/02/2013 22:38

Most venues don't allow unaccompanied under 14s (or even under 16s) in my experience, though I guess some may be more relaxed for bands with a very young fan-base. I wouldn't be comfortable letting two girls that young go to a huge, crowded event with no adult supervision. DS is 14 (and big enough to hold his own in a mosh-pit) and has only recently started going to gigs just with his mates.

Amphitrite · 17/02/2013 22:40

It would depend on a lot of things for me - time, location and size of venue, how they were getting there and arrangements for picking them up at the end. But by and large I would say 12 too young to go alone. I would probably let my 12 year old go with her 16 year old sister, but not with another 12 year old.

Whitershadeofpale · 17/02/2013 22:42

Generally I would say 12 is too young unless some

exexpat · 17/02/2013 22:44

Out of curiosity I just checked, and it looks like most of the venues on the current Script tour have a no unaccompanied under 14s/16s rules - maybe you could check the venue in question. Are you sure her friend's mum or another adult isn't going too?

Whitershadeofpale · 17/02/2013 22:45

Oops:

Generally I would say 12 is too young unless someone is with them. However I'd it's the O2 concert I would be tempted to let then go whilst you go to the pictures or for a meal.

I'm seeing them in March and I've seen them twice before and I have to say I've never seen any trouble or bad behaviour and it's a very mixed crowd.

bruffin · 17/02/2013 22:46

It would depend if they are in standing or sitting as well.
My Dd 15 fainted at one concert a couple of years ago, luckily dh went and was standing at the back.
Last night at the same venue Dds friend had a panic attack and had to be taken out. Although Dd said it was really mental and she has been to a few now.

NotMostPeople · 17/02/2013 22:50

My dd went toa concert just as she turned 13, it was a small venue and a more 'full on' band then the script so poor old DH was made to go with her and her friend. He didn't stay by their sides but as the venue was small he could see them the whole night.

She wanted to go to the Kerrang tour recently (still13) but we said no, bigger venue a longer night and she wanted to go without DH.

elastamum · 17/02/2013 22:56

I have taken my DS (13 and 12) to a few gigs and festivals and there is no way I would let a 12 yr old go on their own - most venues wont let them in anyway without an adult. If we go to standing only concerts we stand on the balcony as some can get a bit wild and are no place for a smallish teen wimpy parent

exexpat · 17/02/2013 22:58

Dublin O2 - all under 16s To be accompanied by a parent/guardian

madwomanacrosstheroad · 17/02/2013 23:44

Its not the dublin gig - its the odyssee in belfast, dd only just turned 12 ten days ago. The other girl is not the most sensible and its not happening. If an adult i know was with them it would be different but this idea is way to risky. It will be interesting to see if her friend actually gets in. We had said that next time she wants to go to a concert with a bit more warning we can arrange that either me or dh can come with her but appaearantly we are to old and to embarrassing!!!

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seeker · 17/02/2013 23:48

They won't let them in.Dd and her friend nearly got turned away from the Arctic Monkeys and the were both nearly 16.

exexpat · 18/02/2013 00:04

Looks like the Odyssey's standard rule is no unaccompanied under 14s. Unless your DD's friend looks much older than she is, it could be a very expensive wasted trip for her - maybe you should show your DD the website so she can warn her friend?

madwomanacrosstheroad · 18/02/2013 00:12

I know - i have actually done that. The child does not look older, she just seems to think she is at least 18. We are having a bit of a strop and a standoff here. My dd's phone goes off every couple of minutes and i presume it is not too complimentary re me. She will survive it.

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MechanicalTheatre · 18/02/2013 00:16

12?! 12?! Jesus Christ no! That's mad. I go to a lot of gigs, and I would be horrified to see a 12-year-old there.

Women routinely get groped, you get beer spilt on you, stuff gets chucked and hits you on the head. It is not a suitable place for children.

Mind you, it might be different at a Script gig. I have never heard of them.

madwomanacrosstheroad · 18/02/2013 00:25

They are actually good. They are from dublin and have been around for years. So it would not be a teeny band which to me is all the more reason not to let her gowithout an adult. She did not mention wanting to go until this evening when her friend rang.

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exexpat · 18/02/2013 01:39

Hope you weather the storm OK. You are absolutely in the right, but of course that doesn't mean that you aren't being soooo unfair because everyone else's mum would let them go, and would buy them a complete new outfit to go too...

madwomanacrosstheroad · 18/02/2013 10:19

Yes and they would buy it in hollisters and double their pocket money and let them stay out until eleven. .... I suppose at least i am consistently weird and horrible and she just knew i would be so unfair as i am out to ruin her life.
She has as yet not surfaced (its half term).

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