My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

If your pre teen said they were invited for a sleepover would you check with the other parents?

66 replies

VivaLeBeaver · 29/06/2012 23:10

dd has three friends sleeping over tonight. They're new friends. Two of them I have never met the parents and they've not met me. I vaguely know the other girls mum, don't know her name but I'd recognise her. Unless their dds have given their mums my phone number then they don't have it.

Dd asked them last week if they wanted to come for a sleepover, I said it was fine. I'm just surprised their parents haven't contacted me to make sure it was ok.

Not so much of an issue now but in a few years this could be a good trick to say they're going to X's house when they're really somewhere else. Would I look like an old fart if I always ring parents to double check that dd is going to be at their house if she goes for a sleepover?

They're all 11 btw.

OP posts:
rubyrubyruby · 29/06/2012 23:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 29/06/2012 23:13

You've got two 11 year old girls in your house overnight and neither of the parents have phoned you even just to make contact????7


My goodness.


No, that' wouldn't happen here.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 29/06/2012 23:14

I would check yes, just to be sure that it was a plan the parent agreed to.

NotMostPeople · 29/06/2012 23:15

I always check even with my 13 year old and have had some reactions from mothers that would indicate they think I'm being overly protective.

VivaLeBeaver · 29/06/2012 23:15

Three girls. No parents have contacted me and the girls have known for a week. The girls assured me at tea that their parents know where they are.

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 29/06/2012 23:17

I'm glad it's not just me being PFB about it. These girls have older siblings so maybe their parents area bit more relaxed about stuff!

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 29/06/2012 23:18

I would assume their parents thought it was ok , yes

cece · 29/06/2012 23:19

My 11 yr old DD rarely goes on sleepovers and therefore only goes with people I know very well. There is no way she would be at someones house I didn't know - let alone not contacted about it. Shock

bumpybecky · 29/06/2012 23:20

no that wouldn't happen here!

neither of my older dds (14 and 12) has been for a sleepover without me (or DH) knowing the parents, speaking to them and delivering dd to their house. We've always taken contact numbers from parents who have left their dd's here too.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 29/06/2012 23:20

tbh, I'm so pfbish that I'd have checked before they were sleeping at my house. I'd have wanted mobile numbers in advance and checked by text, if I didn't know the parents.

At this stage, I don't know that there's much you can do other then text the parents to say "xxx is here and all is fine, are you collecting her in the morning?"

usualsuspect · 29/06/2012 23:20

How can you know all the parents of your childrens friends?

usualsuspect · 29/06/2012 23:22

I mean I didn't know any of my childrens friends parents once they went to secondary school

mercibucket · 29/06/2012 23:22

Yep ours have had sleepovers like that. They've always turned up again the next day :)
Probably be a bit more careful with teens tbh

mercibucket · 29/06/2012 23:22

Yep ours have had sleepovers like that. They've always turned up again the next day :)
Probably be a bit more careful with teens tbh

VivaLeBeaver · 29/06/2012 23:24

She goes to secondary school in sept and I guess will be making friends there with kids who's parents I won't know. I won't mind her going for sleepovers but do think I'm going to have to either drop her off or ring them beforehand.

Nothings been arranged about taking these girls home tomorrow. I think they're all just planning to walk themselves home. I'm going to drive them all home though, they're not far away but then I know they've got back.

OP posts:
Maryz · 29/06/2012 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSpokenNerd · 29/06/2012 23:28

I am ith MaryMotherofCHeese! 11 is very young imo.

Maryz · 29/06/2012 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSpokenNerd · 29/06/2012 23:28

They're still in PRIMARY??? What are their parents thinking!

usualsuspect · 29/06/2012 23:30

Really you get a print out, I trusted my DCs fool that I am , but tbh they never had to lie

VoldemortsNipple · 29/06/2012 23:30

Once dcs get to high school it is much harder to know friends let alo.e their parents. However DD is 16 and I always insist on speaking to parents, even if its one phone call to say, Hi I'm just checking DD is sleeping in your house tonight, is that right?

A couple of friends who were into heavy metal when we were 14 had "sleepovers" in each others houses every weekend for 3 years, while secretly going clubbing and staying out all night until they could return home at a reasonable hour.

MrsJohnMurphy · 29/06/2012 23:32

Oh gawd yes I would always check, we got up to all sorts using this loophole, bowling until 12am was surprisingly effective too Hmm.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Maryz · 29/06/2012 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OwlsOnStrings · 29/06/2012 23:37

Yes, definitely. Can't imagine not doing it. I also check for my 13 yr old and nobody has commented on it yet. I plan to continue for as long as possible. Going by what I was like the further into the teens the more likely it is to be an Evil Scheme.

Trish1200 · 29/06/2012 23:49

I would without a doubt check. I'm amassed how there are parents who don't. And I would have to know the parents, a phone call would not be enough. Maybe because I've been there. When I was 16 I once went out clubbing all night, I got my older 6 years boyfriend to call my parents to pretend he was one of my friends father and they fell for it Grin it was great fun at the time. Unfortunately for him my son won't ever get away with it so easily Wink

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.