How to make home fun for my 9yr-old without electronic games?

[chrisholty]

Our nearly-9-yr-old and nearly-7-yr olds have a Wii and access to family computer at weekends only. They feel most deprived that they don't have all the other electronic games their friends have. The 9-yr-old is now constantly wanting to play at his friends' houses in the week in order to get to play on their X-Boxes, PSPs etc...

I picked him up from his friend's last night to find him playing a game that was basically a simulation of robbing stores, smashing them up and terrorising the shop keepers.

I can stop him going to these friends, but what I'd like to do is make being at home and playing non-electronic games such fun that he doesn't crave them.

Unfortunately, he's a very active "boys' boy" and the only things we genuinely share and enjoy together currently are ice skating, bedtime stories and the odd game of Frustration and Connect 4... Suggestions please.....!

[cubscout]

What about tennis and/or swimming? More competitive board games - we can make Monopoly last a long time and Risk is great for boys - all that world domination
Or get them cooking? Or more hobbies? Camp out in the garden?

[FernieB]

Quite often kids want what they can't have. You see it at parties, where kids who aren't allowed sweets/biscuits at home, stuff themselves silly when their mum isn't there. I sometimes help out at a toddler group and the little ones who aren't allowed biscuits at home are the first to come for a snack and gorge themselves. Those that are allowed can take it or leave it. My 11 year old DD's are the same. They used to have free access to nail polish and never really bothered with it, using it only once or twice a year. But after an incident which saw me spending an hour trying to get the wretched stuff off the bath, it was banned. They now paint their nails every time they're at a friends house.

Why don't you allow him 30 minutes of electronic gameplay a couple of days a week - you could always join in with him. Then he won't feel the need to go to his friends house all the time. Also, by allowing him more access to electronic games, they're not as exciting and he might not play with them as much as you fear. When I got my DD's their laptops, I initially used the parental controls so they could only use them at certain times of the day, but they pestered and whined and whined and then spent the whole of the allowed time on the laptops. When I removed the controls, (after the initial excitement) they actually spent less time on the computer.

For non-electronic home-based activities - get him cooking, orienteering (even around the house), football in the garden/park, cycling, washing the car (they love getting wet), gardening, get him a chemistry or electronics kit.

[chrisholty]

Thanks guys - some really good ideas here.