The purpose of pre-school, and whether or not to send ds

[EggyBreadAndBeans]

Am I right in thinking that the reasons kids go to pre-school are (a) to give them opportunities to socialise with their peers, and (b) to prepare them for school? And I suppose also (c) to give Mum a break.

Ds has a place to start at our village pre-school in April, which we booked up over a year ago. The thing is ...

Ds doesn't seem to enjoy mixing with his peers that much. He ends up losing his rag (big-time) over toy-sharing, gets frustrated trying to communicate with them, and lately has been asking me to make his two- and three-year-old playdates 'go away' . On the other hand, playing with older kids and adults (which ds gets to do a lot) brings out the absolute best in him, and he loves it. So that brings (a) into question.

Also, we've been looking into home education since ds was about one and of course, if we decide to go down that route, then there's no need to worry about preparing him for school (b).

And we lean towards attachment parenting, so I'm not interested in having ds prised off me in tears in order for him to 'get used' to pre-school.

I feel under pressure to send ds to pre-school ? it seems expected either these days, or at least where we live ? and yet all of the above begs the question, should we just take ds's name off the list and carry on as we are? If we do this, and decide on conventional schooling, will he settle in OK without pre-school? Thanks.

(Also posted on Home Ed board.)

[snorkle]

Message withdrawn

[brimfull]

have posted on the other thread

[colditz]

I think if you decide to send him to school, the children there will mostly have attended preschool. they will understand a liitle more about sharing and compromise than your ds, and will probably all know each other, and this may leave him at a disadvantage with them.

Him getting on better with older children ... well most children of that age do, and this is because older children have developed the flexibility needed to deal with 3 year olds, through dealing with their peers. They know how to share, but can also take pity when a child is struggling to share, and say "Oh, well, you have it then, if it's that important to you". They have better communication skills, but again, much of this is learned by playing with their peers and learning to speak and listen in a way that makes them understood and understanding.

But, I can see why you wouldn't want him prised off you, and I was the same. I decided if it came so ds1 didn't want to go, he would stay at home with me. End of. It never happened to me, but if it happens to you or you decide not to send him, I would consider some time spent at toddler groups where your ds learns to be with younger and same age children, and can be the big boy.

[Egypt]

i find my dd shares very well when i'm not there. when i am she uses me to try and get what she wants. when i'm not around she feels a little silly throwing a wobbler.

[nearlyfourbob]

How old is ds? My ds is 4 next week and cannot share with 2 year olds - way too little sense between the two of them!

However he plays excellently with children around 6 months older, and has decent conversations. He's been told by some other children that he is bossy, but from what I can tell it's the other bossy children that are telling him this!

Preschool is good for routines and rules. If that isn't what you want for him then don't send him.

We are very attachment parenting - I've only just hung up the hip seat, however this has served to make ds more confident rather than less - there certainly hasn't been any prising.

Maybe another visit with ds, and see what he thinks. He may run off and play, and you'll have your answer.

[EggyBreadAndBeans]

Thanks, all. Post has kicked off on Home Ed, so reply is there .