Mumsnet Talk

Neither of mine could read before they went to school, it's normal!

Ds1 was nearly 5 when he went to school, couldn't read a single word! He picked it up really quickly and now at 10 is an amazing reader, a total bookworm.

Ds2 who is one of the youngest in his year couldn't read either and he's now heading the same was as his brother, becoming a bookworm.

Enjoy your dd, sounds like you are doing a brilliant job. It's so sad that the competitive stuff starts so young.

Hi, my dd is 3.8 she is full time at ms nursery. She can count to 10 but seems to constantly forget how to do it, knows colours such as pink, red, black, white, blue but she has learnt these without me knowingly teaching her. She knows some shapes but tends to forget sometimes (or gets them mixed up not sure ). Recently she brought home a stack of christmas cards from her class mates and most of them had written (or traced) their names ! my Dd is showing interest in learning to write but TBH when I attempt to show her she doesn't seem to get it just yet so I am going to leave it for now, she is also working on speech sounds with her speech therapist (using jolly phonics) so I sneekily keep pointing out the letters she uses when I am reading stories to her. I must admit when the other parents are chatting about their children counting to 20 and writing their names etc at 3 for a brief time I do think oh is Dd behind but then I snap back to the thought that she is only in nursery and I think it should be more fun at that age, the main focus is probably on socialising and sharing etc. As noted above the focus will change a bit more towards the learning numbers/writing etc from reception onwards so I will let her learn in her own time .

Oh just a quick note my Dd can wash herself, clean her teeth, wipe her bottom, undress/dress herself, brush her hair, wash my dishes, hoover, fold the washing, put her washing away etc these are the things she seems more interested in doing at the moment.

DD2 was the best reader in Y2 (no her teacher probably shouldn't have told me).

She couldn't read before she started school. I doubt she knew anything like all her letters. She could just about write her name.

My, quite possibly brighter, but dyslexic DD1, didn't learn to read until half way through Y6.

At 13 she had a reading age if 16 and never has her nose out of a book.

So after many stressful years of trying to find several hundred polite ways of writing "Hopeless" and "brilliant" in reading records I'm an expert at saying most of them learn in good time.

And if you are faced with DD1 you'll know.

er, neither can mine; she is absolutely fine, very clever, able to argue, compare, play etc. SHe is only just starting to be interested in sounds/letters etc (she is 3.9) - we are encouraging when she raises it. Not all children learn the same way or at the same pace. She sounds perfect!

Oh gawd, 'competitive parenting' - how I hate it!

Perfectly normal not to read at that age, for goodness sake.
School does not start until aged 6 for ALL children on mainland Europe (with the exception of Switzerland where schoolage is 7) and none of those children is expected to read when they start school.

<<and breathe>>

Do people really want to have their children off to Oxford when they are 11 or summat??

<<breathes some more as first time did not work>>

Pet hate of mine, in case you hadn't noticed - children are ment to play and learn by playing.

cant read at 3.5, behind?? I have never met anyone who reads at 3.5. And there are other things a 3.5 year old can be doing, like playing.

she sounds perfect to me!

Thank you all so much!! DD is cheeky, lively and interested in the world. She asked for a (child's) book about the body tonight. I think she's fine. I shall ignore that other mother completely!!

Oh and she can use the loo on her own, dress if no fiddily buttons and feed herself.

my 4.5 year old is very smart and doesn't read yet. She is happy, likes learning and the teachers all say she is ahead of her peers. It all depends on what is important to you and your DD I think.

I have nieces at a Steiner School- their policy is not to teach reading and writing until 7 years old, and they do extremely well in all the comparison tests.

Nursery/kindergarten/preschool is there to socialise and give children an introduction to a few basic concepts- counting and colours, maybe some writing and reading if they are interested. Your DD sounds perfectly normal to me

No not at all! My dd was not at all interested in letters at 3.5. Not a jot. She is 6yrs old and can't put books down. She is going great guns now, charging through all sorts of reading

I heard once a person say it was like a switch. Dd took her time plodding through the phonetics, but without really knowing what she was dong it seemed, then, one day, just as that person said, the switch went and she became hungr to learn more.

That will happen with your dd. BUT even if words are not her strength, and there are plenty of very clever people for whom words are not their strength, she will get plenty of support and it will still happen.

Don't worry, honestly 3.5 is sooo young, she is still a toddler!

I am a nursery/reception teacher and I wish all my parents did all the things you are doing with your child. You are doing all the right things and she is not at all behind.

What a lot of crap. It means she's perfectly normal.

There are a lot of Mums on here who read early & plenty who have children that have read early, but the vast majority of children learn at school. Either way, there's no difference by the time they get to about 6 or 7. Some 'early readers' don't progress and some 'late readers' shoot ahead... some pootle along at the same rate

Let her be, let her play and do not give this another thought!

DSS2 was 4 in April, can't read and only just knows his letters. As LilyBolero says, he's now learning it all at reception. What is important is that he can do the five things she lists and is a happy and polite child.

He's certainly not slow - the cheeky imp has leant how to time a wink in order to make me laugh if I'm telling him not to do something!

I couldn't read when i went to school at 4. My mum was a teacher .
At 7 i had a reading age of 12+.
I couldn't be described as slow.

3.5 seems to me to be extremely young to learn to read! Really, she will learn in school.

And you will meet plenty of nutter parents who wish to intimate that your child is 'a bit slow', best policy is to <ignore, ignore, ignore>

Not a problem.

They learn it in reception.

What is important to learn now is;
i) how to dress herself
ii) how to use the toilet
iii) how to speak clearly, and to express herself to an adult who is not her parent (so she can ask to use the toilet etc)
iv) how to eat unaided
v) how to play

Is this a problem? Clueless first Mum and some with a child of the same age indicated it might mean she's "a bit slow" if she can't do this yet.

We read loads to her, do letter recognition and sounds when it's fun (names, places, shops etc) and use meals and baking etc for numbers and maths.

She also does this stuff 3 days a week at nursery.

Is she behind? Thank you for your help.