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Ds is 4yrs. He attends preschool 5 mornings a week. He is a bright curious little boy but has no intrest in pencils and paper and will not sit to colour in for more than a minute.

He loves stories but has no intrest in the words.

I have never concidered myself a pushy mum and tbh I have never really put a lot of energy into it, prefering to work with playdough, baking and outside play when we are together. I always thought he had the rest of his life to have his head in books.

But am I wrong? Will ds be the only child starting school with little pencil control and only being able to point to the letters of the alphabet.

Playschool seem happy with him. Am i wrong to worry?

That's what school is for I have pushy mum tendencies that I keep locked away, but AFAIK they just want to be able to recognise their own name written down for when they start school, anything else is a bonus.

DD could write her first name only when she started school in September and didn't know all her letters. She can read simple words and write simple words already.

By all mean encourage scribbling, colouring in, making shapes in sand, drawing on a chalkboard - these all help develop the relevant skills for writing, but there is really no need to try to teach them everything before they start.

I probably would have tried TBH, but I had no idea at all how they teach them these days old gimmer so I didn't even try. Trips to library, regular stories at home are more the way to go.

Thanks Minnie, a family friend was schocked a few days ago when i said he could not read. It has been bugging me ever since.

They will start school with huge range of abilities. Many will barely recognise any letters or numbers. A few will read several words or more. Make sure he can wipe his own bottom, get dressed & undressed, take turns & follow instructions. The teachers are the ones to teach letters & numbers. it's good if he can recognise his own name (read it).

i have a 3.8yr old and his nursery have been working on his pencil grip since he started in september. i was also given a sheet of letters in the first few weeks to practice correct letter formation at home!! (we don't!) it is attached to a prep school though and the nursery is quite formal. he's not interested in doing drawing/colouring/painting much at home but seems to do a lot of it at nursery so is starting to enjoy it more.
he loves stories too but has no real interest in the words on the page. he recognises the first letter of his name now and gets really excited when he sees it written/printed.

You need a book called Nurture Shock. The chapter on the link between early years achievement and eventual academic outcome (or more accurately, the lack of any link) will cheer you up to no end. Little kids learn best through play. All the evidence says so.

hear , hear! where we live, pre-school is until aged 6, only after that do they focus on reading & writing. before that, as perfectstorm says, it's all learning through play.

DS started school in September not being able to read or write. He could identify most letters and read his name but that was it. He still scribbled and held a pencil in a fist. He would never draw or write for pleasure - just had zero interest in it.

Now he is reading simple cvc words, writing with a pencil grip and even trying to spell words on his own. All that play, being read to, more play and just general curiosity about the world meant that he started school ready to learn. They still do most of their learning by play in reception, but the little bit of formal stuff they do, is sinking in well.

So let your DS explore the world in the way he chooses and let school worry about the formal bits.

I was taught to read and add up before school. I then found school immensly boring. It might have been a coincidence, but I don't feel I ever really got over it, or not until I got to university.

I am a bit torn about it with DD who is 4. We do a little, led by her always. She's interested, but not to the point of sitting down and really doing it IYSWIM. Mainly it's me feeling guilty as I have a very active toddler so DD and I don't get much sit down time. Really, I think it will be best for her to wait for school. All her little firends who have started recently have picked up writing very quickly, it seems to me.

Quite a few of the children who have been hot housed by their parents before starting school are actually at a disadvantage

The methods that their parents have used often don't match the methods of the school so these children have to unlearn what they have been taught at home before they can tackle the different method at school.

Just concentrate on his social skills and independence for now and let yourself be guided by the school once he starts.

DS is 4.4, and won't start school until Sept when he'll be nearly 5. He's at full time nursery at the moment.

We're not actively teaching him to read or write but he is very interested in books, letters and writing so we encourage him in that (playing "spot the letter" games, encouraging him to sound out words). He can write his own name well, and can have a go at writing other things with help. He's always been way more interesting in writing than drawing. He can draw simple pictures (stick people etc) if so inclined but rarely does.

Anyway, IMHO, your DS sounds fine! An interest in books is great, playing with playdough and baking is great (both really good for developing fine motor skills, which will help with pencil control), outside play is great. If he's bright and curious, just take this time to do whatever he's interested in and I'm sure when he starts school, he'll do fine.

Ds knew most of the basic phonics sounds before school just because he has taken an interest so I got some phonics books to make sure that I was telling him the correct sounds. We could be standing at the bus stop and he would say "does bus start with b?" so we'd then make a game of finding other words that started with the same sound. Then he lost interest though and I don't think we did anything at all (apart from reading stories at bedtime etc) for around 4 months before he started school. He couldn't write anything except his own name and that was a bit dodgy . He couldn't read at all either. One term in and he can read a lot and is constantly begging to do more phonics at home. Writing is slower.

Dd turned 3 at Christmas and often wants to get involved when ds is doing homework. She likes to point out words in books and will go to the shelf and get down the phonics flashcards when she wants to look at them. When we do look at cards it is for about 2 mins max before she toddles off to do something else. She is slowly learning sounds and just starting to realise the connection between the cards and the start sounds of words so again, when she starts doing sounds I turn it into a game of finding other words with that sound. Becaus she is doing it much earlier than ds did I think she might well be reading before school. Then again she might lose interest and that wouldn't bother me.

Basically, follow the interest of the child. If he likes playing with sounds then follow it, if he is obsessed with dinosaurs or splashing in puddles then do that instead.

I used to worry too when ds1's friends at other pre-school were coming home with 'homework'!!!. It will be done in school anyway. Spoke to a friend who is a headmistress and she said similar to other posters, they may have to relearn methods or be bored as they've already done ti anyway.

Ds1 had a friend who way way ahead starting reception, now they are well into Year1 he has caught up

Go at your child's pace. DD3 is 3.9 and can recognise hers and several other names and words and is beginning to spot them in books etc. She can also blend ie. if I say d-o-g she will say dog, and can recognise most letters/sounds.

DD1 on the other hand could just about recognise her own name on starting reception at 4.9 and had no real interest in words. She has been predicted a solid level 5 for literacy in her year 6 SATs this year.

Don't sweat about it.

Forgot to say, It's a marathon, not a sprint.

Schools want good social skills. Teachers despair at children who turn up to school and don't know how to put on their shoes(buy Velcro ones FGS), can't go to the toilet on their own, or put their coat on. Teach him social skills. Although recognising his name would be useful.

Nursery is about learning how to learn, by beng interested in the world and people around you. It should be a happy, fun and exciting time for a child. Don't get hung up on what he can't do, there will be plenty of things he can do beautifully. The reading and writing will come just as walking and talking did. Once he is in school try to advoid the playground conversations about what level of reading book your child is on. It is unhelpful to everyone and no one is going to ask your child went he started to read or write when he goes for his first interview. Relax, encourage and enjoy this time. Hope this helps.

I'm sorry I haven't read many of the replies, but thought I'd mention great book I was given when DS was born, it's called raising boys by steve biddolph, it says boys learn gross motor skills e.g throwing etc before they can learn fine motor skills, so all the lovely outdoor play etc that you are doing is exactly the right thing, I'd recommend the book, a good read and interesting for boys from babies through to early adult hood!