In 1982 my beautiful daughter arrived 6 weeks early weighing just over 4lb. I had a son who was enjoying being a 'terrible 2' already and had been hospitalised several times due to bleeding heavily and bled throughout the pregnancy. The support at home was not good, no available help really and looking back I am surprised how I managed.
When my daughter was born she went into the special care unit, and I came home to look after my son. Their father (my ex husband) resented her 'for all the trouble she had caused', referred to her as 'it' and didn't take me to visit her much. I expressed lots of milk and stored it in the fridge and took it to the unit when we we visited. After nearly 4 weeks I roomed in for a weekend to see if she was strong enough to feed from me and then we brought her home. Whilst I was there that weekend a doctor passed me sitting in the garden and asked about my baby, when I said she was 6 weeks early he helpfully said that they 'lost' more babies at 6 weeks than 8 weeks or 4 weeks.
I only ever had one scan and my GP thought I was over reacting when I said that the specialist thought my placenta might be failing, although a nurse came to take blood tests in the last week or so, to see if the placenta was not working.
The reason I am on here is that I am now doing a psychology degree, learning about development of babies, and have suddenly realised that I abandoned my little miracle in order to go back home and look after my son, but really I think I was so sure that she was not going to survive that I tried to blank the whole thing.
My daughter is perfect in every way, and seems not to hate me and yet I am now wondering what harm I must have done to her by leaving her all alone for so long.
There was no contact from any health visitors, or doctors or anything.. I just left hospital after 2 days and came home.
I just wondered how much support you all had, and I suppose I am reading Mumsnet premature baby threads in the hope of seeing that what happened to me (or I did to my baby) doesn't happen now.
How did the medical staff treat you? I know that whatever Mums do they always feel guilty but looking back, why on earth did I behave like that? Tell me it can't happen today, please.
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I had my early bird 30 years ago - is it different for today's parents?
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Bigbarb · 21/09/2012 17:03
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