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DNeph born at 28weeks, would love to hear your good news stories!(22 Posts)
I just noticed this in my app and didn't realise there were a couple of posts I didn't reply to. It's a wonderful feeling to read back now, safe in the knowledge that my now nearly 10 month old fighter nephew thrived in NICU and was through transitional care and home 3 weeks before he was due to have been born!
The advice was great and the practical help I was able to give (lifts, food, place for my brother to come 'home ' to when they were still in hospital etc) was just as good as the nappies and clothes I bought. Baby is great and although he's small for his age he is a little character
Thanks for great advice and the motivating positive stories, exactly what I needed at the time.
A thread I started when I was in the NNU can be found here as some idea of the ups and downs I went through. Obviously your nephews journey won't be the same but it's so hard to understand what it's going to be like.
Congratulations!! My gorgeous DD was born at 26+5, is now about 8 weeks corrected (so 22 weeks ish actual), she is perfect, she spent 93 days in the NNU but is now home and thriving and at weigh in this morning was 9lb 6oz she was only 1lb 10oz at birth.
It's crap and hard but it was so worth it.
Hi Truffkin How are things going with your nephew. My DD was born at 29weeks, 2lb 9oz and is now 16months old and developing true to age and weighs about 26lb. Some good advice on here which i cant really add to. My DD was only in hospital about 5weeks and came out weighing 4lb......its the practical things we needed most, someone to clean, do washing, ironing, make sure there was some food in the fridge and something to take to the hospital. I took a packed lunch everyday as it got too expensive eating there everyday. Although she was born early we had bought most things but the biggest learning curve on discharge for us was how hot we had to have the house to maintain her temperature, also far more blankets than recommended, i think at one point she had vest, baby grow and 12 layers on and she still wasnt too hot. A good thermometer is a good idea as we had to keep a record for the support team on discharge of temp, wet / dirty nappies, how many feeds etc she had had for the first few weeks but that will depend on individual units.
Its a very emotional time for everyone and there are good and bad days, it probably wont hit your brother and his girlfriend for many weeks yet and there are times that i still cry, even though she is perfect. First birthdays are very emotional and not always the happy day everyone expects. If you have any other questions or want advice then please pm me or ask on here.
my ds2 was born at 28 wks & had a very rough time in scbu.
it is a rough time, horrible for the whole family. But my ds2 despite many complications is generally a very healthy 9 year old. He does have some long term disabilities but that really doesnt matter, he is a happy, healthy, tough little boy who is adaored by the entire family.
Best wishes to your dn x
Hi congrats on becoming a auntie my ds was born at 26 weeks following a car crash, I nearly died and my placenta ruptured. He needed some operations and months in nicu but he's now a healthy 4 year old and no one would ever guess he weighed just a pound. I second the diary and also maybe make sure their camera has batteries etc. I kept a diary of everything the drs said, how he was doing how much he ate etc. now he loves to look at it now. Soft blankets are nice I used to sleep with one then put it in the incubator calmed ds a lot when I was too ill to be there. Other than that I second everything the others have said and you are very right food for mum and dad is very important and often the thing they least want or feel like having. Oh and don't forget to eat/rest yourself xxx
Thanks so much for posting everyone, every post is inspiring or useful or both!
Notebook is a great idea, and I'm currently seeing my job as making sure my brother eats and sleeps when at home so he can function properly at the hospital!
Thanks for the advice on tiny clothes too, I will definitely be having a look at them all (any excuse to shop!) for a few little things.
My DS was born at 28 weeks weighing 1lb 14oz, I had a placental abruption. He was in SCBU for about 12 weeks, and apart from being rather teeny for the first year or so he caught up with his peers by around 14m. He is now almost 16 and over 6 feet tall.
Absolutely no problems/illnesses at all as he's grown up, he is a brilliant sportsman. I do pinch myself from time to time when I remember the scrap that was pretty much the same length as my forearm - without the hand!
I got lots of his tiny clothes from John Lewis, they have a fantastic range for prem babies there; though it was a good couple or three weeks before he was moved from hot bed to incubator, so he just wore bubble wrap and his older sisters' dolls hats!
Congratulations. You've been given lots of good advice but one thing I would add is if you are local/know lots of their friends and family etc I would help them get organised.
So, meals and cleaning rota for them at home, because they will be literally coming home to sleep/pump before going to hospital (and then likely work for your brother, then hospital in the evening). It's completely exhausting, even before the baby comes home. So ready meals, a few reheatable home cooked things (soups, casseroles etc), an offer to do washing/walk dog etc really helpful.
Lifts for her if she can't drive post section once your brother is back at work are a big help too. (generally speaking most blokes go back to work as soon as the danger zone is over and save paternity leave for once LO comes home, but of course it's all personal choice/depends on circumstances etc).
Then, once they're ready, baby stuff. When my DTs came at 30 weeks we had literally nothing ready or bought, and ended up trying to order everything online at 3 in the morning as I expressed about a day before they were discharged. It'll be a little while before they want to think about it probably, but once premmies start making good progress it happens really rapidly and all of a sudden they're coming home and will have to sleep in a drawer unless you go to Mothercare RIGHT NOW! So pick up some catalogues/print out pages from online etc for them (because you can never get online even on phones in hospitals). Lots of places sell 5lb clothes nowadays, as well as the 3lb and 4lb stuff in MOthercare (BLISS range). THe one advice I was given and completely ignored was not to buy too much early (5lb) or tiny (7lb) stuff because they'll be in Newborn before you know it. But a few lovely babygrows and vests etc are important. We were given some 5lber stuff when the DTs were born which sat in their ward for 7 weeks, waiting for them to be big enough to wear it. They wore it home, and grew out of it seemingly 10 minutes later, but they are some of my most treasured possessions.
Second what MAndy said about the diary too. Although some of my early entries look they were written by a madwoman, it's an important part of processing it all. ANd lots and lots of photos, because one day they'll be 9 months old and have you in a headlock whilst kicking you in the chest (DS I'm looking at YOU) and eating your ear and you simply won't believe that they were this tiny scrap of a thing that looked like he would blow away if not anchored down by tubes.
Hi there, congratulations on being an Auntie! I had twins at 27+6 7 years ago now, both weighing the same as your nephew (2lb 6oz). They are now 7 year olds with no sign whatsoever of their prematurity - very bright, active, cheeky monkeys . They had caught up with their peers by about 18 months - still walked, talked, etc at the same time as other babies born at the same time but were just a little bit smaller.
In my case, the unit supplied all nappies and bits (cotton wool etc), and he won't need clothes for a while as they'll need to see his body. The Boots range is good, but he only needs the absolute basics. At our hospital, the babies were allowed a blanket which went over over part of the incubator at night (as the lights are on pretty much all the time).
In terms of your SIL, a few things were really useful. A notebook first of all - I basically kept a diary of how things were going, positive comments the doctors had said, how much milk they were having, when they opened their eyes etc and it was so useful on the bad days (and there probably will be some 'bad' days when she'll think he's not progressing as quickly as she'd like) to look back and see how far he's come. Also, as others have said, a breast pump (although the hospital supplied mine), snacks and magazines as she'll probably be getting up during the night to express.
Also, can you make a few meals or perhaps go round and do a load of washing - all the day to day stuff that your brother won't be thinking about because he'll be at the hospital at every opportunity?
I think perhaps too just try to be there for them in whatever way you can. Its difficult to explain - part of me felt slightly detached from them, and was therefore happy for nurses to step in (as I also felt they knew what they were doing) but at the same time was fiercely protective as they were so little so hated other members of my family "distracting" me from my job sitting at the side of the incubators! Just be understanding / patient - they'll probably be all over the place emotionally. You do have to take each day as it comes but rest assured that neonatal staff are generally amazing and your nephew will be getting the best care.
There is a charity for premature babies called BLISS (www.bliss.org.uk) which has lots of useful info and a forum for questions.
My babies came home at exactly 2 months old - so the equivalent of 36+5 (they were still only 4lb 9oz) but it seems such a long way away to start with.
Best wishes to you all.
Fabulous everyone, thanks so much. I took nappies in yesterday and the midwives seemed really grateful; I feel like I couldn't possibly do enough for the gratitude to be coming my way as they are amazing.
I got to see micro nephew though and he is absolutely perfect and so, so very tiny. My bro and SiL have been able to hold him and lots of skin to skin is really encouraged, which is lovely.
Breast pump was spot on, good idea about suitable clothes. She's still in nightwear atm but I'm going to offer to take her shopping when she is discharged as she had barely bought any maternity clothes, let alone anything else!
dd was born at somwhwere between 27 and 28 weeks
Shes a happy healthy 5 year old now
they will provide stuff to start but expect the parents to provide them once things are settled
Oh, and the best advice I was given was taken each day as it comes. There will be good days and not so good days, but just focus on the positives
My little one was born 2 weeks ago at 30wks by emergency c section due to low lying placenta/bleeidng. He's still in NICU but doing ok at the moment.
The hospital provide nappies but they do ask that you bring your own in if you can. Boots do Micro nappies online, which are the ones they use.
He wasn't able to wear anything apart from a nappy for the first few days due to tubes and wires coming out everywhere, but second the boots range and mothercare early baby range - which fit around everything, although the clothes still swamp out little one.
As for your brother's girlfriend, I would suggest just making sure she's got someone to talk to about what happened, and I mean really talk too. I was really traumatised by everything that happened and still cry now thinking about it all, and I didn't really have anyone to talk it all through with.
Also, your brother's girlfriend will probably need a breast pump for expressing and some suitable tops for expressing and for kangeroo care when baby is strong enough. I never got to the post-natal clothes shopping part of pregnancy, so have nothing suitable for expressing or for cuddling baby when I go to see him.
Also, hospitals are really geared up for mums and babies, the one I was in wasn't so geared up for mum's without babies, so they literally discharged me and said goodbye - no info on what to do at home, how long I should be expressing etc... if baby is in NICU then there might be a family room with lots of leaflets about this sort of thing. I've found them really useful.
Sorry for the long post, hope this helps. Wishing you, your bro & gf and new little nephew all the best x x
Ooh thanks Storm that's a great idea
Boots do a lovely range of clothing for preemie babies in incubators that fit around the wires, maybe something from this range as a wee gift?
Thanks everyone. Have seen a photo now and he is gorgeous! Doing well they are saying, very well developed for his gestation. I will be getting them some nappies and some arnica tablets for SiL as recommended to help cs healing. They got to see him and touch him this afternoon!
My ds was born at 33 weeks a year ago. Hospital only provided emergency nappies . After the first day you were expected to provide them, along with cotton wool, you won bottles etc. he won't need clothes as he will be in an incubator for a fair while . Expect him to be there until around his due date.
get her some arnica tablets to help with the healing of her scar. Some hand/face cream as it can be very 'dry' in hospital - maybe one of those facial misters, check she has a camera for taking pictures/ charger for phone etc tec some nice snacks/nibbles
dd born at 30 weeks, 4/6 born, spent ages in an incubator,
is 8 now, full of beans, top of the class in english and maths, has a reading age of 9.6, kind gentle and caring.
does not seemed to be affected by being early at all
Congratulations on becoming an aunty
I have two dn's born at 28 and 29 weeks, both thriving though one has some breathing issues they should grow out of it.
Not much needed for baby atm, the hospital will provide nappies etc... though they may wish to dress him in a few weeks with some loose clothingto wear in the incubator.
Your sil may be in more need depending on how prepared she was for labour.
Wish you all best of luck and he's home as quickly as possible.
As it says really! My brother's girlfriend had a little boy this morning at 28 weeks after several weeks of on/off bleeding and labour starting this morning. Low lying placenta meant emcs but she is fine (relatively) just knackered! He's a good weight (2lbs 6oz) but needed resucitating a couple of times in theatre.
I'd love to hear positive stories of 28 weekers as well as advice about what I could do that would be helpful. My brother has asked me to visit his girlfriend this evening and I've asked if she needs / wants anything.
Should we get preemie nappies or will the hospital have them? Photos I've seen of premature babies never show them wearing clothes, so not sure if he will need them or not. I'm so excited for my baby brother becoming a Daddy, but also worried about the baby being ok and the heartache they will both no doubt go through over the next few months.
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