Mumsnet Talk

if you've had premature babies when would you advise DH should take his paternity leave? We're having twins and already have a 17 month old. So I'm thinking it would be best to save the leave for when they're discharged. He's entitled to 2 weeks. What would you advise if you've had premature babies? I think he should take the day of delivery off obviously! I'm having a planned section. Should mention the toddler will be in nursery mon- fri during the day for the first while.

TIA for any insights

Will you have family help? When DS2 was born at 30 weeks, my parents came down to stay and help look after DS1 (5) and DD (3). That freed me up to spend days at NICU. DH kept working but would try to come home early and he would spend time in evenings with DS2 while I spent time with older DCs. Not every day but enough that he felt connected to DS2 and everything that was happening with him.

Taking prem babies home has extra stresses because you worry about them a lot. It probably would help you to have DH at home at that time so you can support each other.

I am lucky enough to have 2 sets od GPs nearby to call on if necessary. I think from what you say it'll be best to keep his leave until after discharge. Thanks for your reply

Definitely once you're discharged.
Mine were born at 34 weeks, 3 weeks earlier than planned. He took his PL once we were discharged a week later. Only one of mine was in SCBU.
His boss very kindly let him do very short days the week we were in though so he could come for lunch and tea time visiting hours.

I had my twins unexpectedly at 33 weeks . My hubby had one or two days off then went back to work whilst they were on scbu and twO weeks Off when they came home. Worked out much better that way. G

Good lluck with your arrivals !!

def after discharge, my first set were 33 weekers so in scbu for 3 weeks so he had delivery day off and the day after then i came home anyway and he then had the rest of paternity when they came home.

2nd set ws great as he booked the time off inbetween the bank hols and royalwedding in april so he could let me rest before they arrived but they decided to come at 36 weeks so had 3 days off holiday then the 2 weeks booked holiday around the bank holidays (so about 4 days holiday for nearly 2 weeks off) then straight into 2 weeks paternity leave lol. we were home on day 4 anyway so was lovely for the help

my triplets were 33+2. My dh took 2 weeks off when they came home from hospital, it worked better that way.

My dh took 3 days of his paternity but then returned to work, taking the rest for when we came home. He then had a week back at work, then a week's holiday. This worked really well but his boss was happy for him to split the paternity leave and I know officially it's supposed to be in one block so it depends on the company. I think dh would have struggled to leave us initially, but once the twins were clearly stable and moving forward he was able to go to work without too much guilt.

Hi, mine were 33.5 weeks, my DH took his leave when we were discharged (after 1 month) and I am glad we did this - thats when you need the help, when you are in hospital you have the nurses/midwives etc to help. MY DH did negotiate with work to leave a bit earlier each day to come visit, he used to arrive around 5pm and stay till 8pm and come all day on weekends. I was very very glad that we were together at home when discharged, wouldn't want to have 'wasted' his leave when we were in hospital. He did take the day of the birth, day after and then he took another day when I had a subsequent operation, so he had taken 3 of his days when we were in hospital. He took the remainder paternity leave plus 2 weeks hols when we came home.

Good luck!

Ps seems unaminous on this thread to take the time off when get discharged