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Pregnant again, ds is not even 1 yet, im absolutely terrified and panicking, please reassure me ill be fine..

(15 Posts)
2pinklines Tue 18-Jun-13 19:26:17

I found out yesterday i was pregnant again, it wasnt planned as you can obviously tell from my title. To put it bluntly im shitting myself and havent stopped crying since i found out.

I just cant get my head round it, ive just got to a really good place with ds (had horrible birth and took me a while to bond with him properly), hes now 11 months, hes eating by himself, he goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps till half 7 the next morning, im just getting my life back again.

And now im going to have to give it all up again, and thats the bit thats making me so upset, im only just starting to feel like me again and then this happens. I know its totally our own fault and i should be truly grateful but im being honest in saying im not even slightly pleased right now, jiust absolutely terrified that once again my life is over and im not going to be able to cope with 2.

num3onway Tue 18-Jun-13 19:29:55

My eldest two have 16 months between them. I survived! And have not even gone grey! I even went on to have a third!
Have you friends and family for support?

Babycino81 Tue 18-Jun-13 19:32:41

OP don't panic! My best friend has my wonderful Godchildren with this age gap and although she said the first few weeks were tough, her second DC fell into a pattern with her first DC! You can do this and be positive, you'll have two fab babies who will grow up close in age and. Be able to entertain each other so you can have 5 mins MN etting! Congrats on your news!

Sammieantha86 Tue 18-Jun-13 19:53:43

There are 15 months between my two and they are now 7 & 8, its the best thing ever to have them so close as ull.find they keep each other company as they grow smile) it was hard at times as is everything but i wouldn't change it for the world its lovely to see them so close xx don't panic you'll be fine if i can do it and survive believe me anyone can xx

twinklyfingers Tue 18-Jun-13 19:55:06

This has just happened to me too! Dd is 7mo and I've just found out I'm pregnant. I have the same worries as you, dd is now sleeping through and has stopped bf at night, I can leave her and go out and have a drink! Now I'll be back to late nights bfing and no sleep and no life of my own!

However, I feel so much more capable and confident than I did with dd. I know it will be tough but now I know I have the stamina to get through. And it's all fresh in my head, I remember what worked for dd, what I read on here and in books and what worked for friends. Also, I always wanted at least one more and now the baby stage will be over in one big push. And I have great hopes that they'll be lovely friends for each other.

Congratulations and good luck.

ladythatlunches Tue 18-Jun-13 19:58:46

I had 3 under 11 months (twins)

You will be fine honestly. . You will get your time again Ippromise and just think you get it all over and done with instead of starting over from scratch with a older child and baby.

I had pnd with the my second its was awful took ages to bind with her and feel normal again .. and u promise it does get easier

feekerry Tue 18-Jun-13 20:23:28

i feel your concern. i am 6wk pg and dd is 14m. i was absolutely horrified quite honestly. still am a bit tbh!!!

i have been back at my new job 5 months, lost all my baby weight and getting my life back.
however. my view is now that when this baby is here that will be it for me. my babies will be done and i can really get ny life back instead of hankering about having to do it all again in2/3/4 years time. and i will be more motivated than ever this time to get my body and life back asap this time around and enjoy the summer being on mat leave!!

ShoeWhore Tue 18-Jun-13 20:36:48

Aw I do understand your worries OP. I was in your situation 6 1/2 years ago (except I had a 2yo and a newborn, gulp!) I was absolutely terrified, I really really thought my life was over!

My little surprise is 6 tomorrow and I have to tell you that now the small age gap (11mo in our case) is just wonderful and that even in the early days, it wasn't half as bad as I expected. With a second baby you have already learned so much and it's just not the same kind of culture shock as it is first time around grin

What really really helped me in the early days was getting them all to nap at the same time - I had already trained the big two to both nap after lunch and when they did I used to take the baby into bed with me and we both snoozed too. That and pacing myself and being realistic about what we could do. That said, I didn't find it hard so much as simply time-consuming iykwim?

KateCroydon Tue 18-Jun-13 20:47:57

Everyone above is right, but it is also true that you do not have to have this child. Think through your options as honestly and calmly as you can - if only because if you then decide to go ahead with the pregnancy it'll be a child you wanted rather than one you felt forced to have.

shellyf Tue 18-Jun-13 20:56:39

Thirteen months between my two.Not planned but worked out fine for us.

Riotgrrrl Tue 18-Jun-13 22:13:32

Fourteen months between my first two. Was the best thing that could have happened. They are great friends and I honestly wouldn't change it for the world. I even went on to have two more. I even found a bigger gap more difficult than a small gap.

It will be lovely x x

2pinklines Wed 19-Jun-13 08:21:17

Flippin hormones im crying my eyes out just reading all these messages!

I couldnt reply last night as my oh found me in the bathroom bawling my eyes out so thats how i managed to tell him, very similar story to how i told him i was pregnant the 1st time too, i just panic, assume my life is over and then cry all day long!

The only good thing as everyone has pointed out is getting it all over in 1 push, i dont really have any friends to help out as they all work, my family kind of do, my mum will take ds for a few hours once in a blue moon and think shes done me a massive favour, nobody else really looks after him so its just the 2 of us every day, day in day out and always has been. Thats part of the problem i think, that ill be on my own with 2 of them. Once the ew baby is around 1 i'll be fine as ds is at that stage now and i love it, its the first 6-8 months im dreading where they need you constantly. I joined a gym in april and i must of been approx 5 times since as i just dont have the time, when dp comes home im always shattered, this is my life right now and im hating it!

geeandfeesmum Wed 19-Jun-13 10:44:41

Don't worry it gets better and easier. Mine are 11 months apart and they are now the best of friends (5 & 6). I was really worried about how I would cope with 2 so close together but it was fine. The pregnancy with a small child was harder than having 2 small children to be honest.

Congratulations.

Iheartcustardcreams Wed 19-Jun-13 10:55:43

14 months between my first two. They are so close (when not fighting!). They amuse each other and are in to the same things. The first nine months were hard but it isn't for long.

I coped by going out each day and realising that housework wouldn't always be done.

Congratulations!

megandraper Wed 19-Jun-13 11:08:02

21 months between dc1 and dc2, 23 months between dc2 and dc3. Youngest is 2 now and it's great. They were planned though which is different, of course.

The hardest time was the first 6 months after dc2 was born, just with adjusting to two, but it really is fab seeing how close they all are. It will be okay.

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