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Fed up with obsession about weight gain during pregnancy...

(56 Posts)
Mummysaysno Tue 19-Feb-13 02:34:47

Really interested to know what is 'normal'...we live in Hong Kong and I have my weight measured every four weeks, and at 24 weeks am at the high end of 'normal'.
This is our fourth child, my children all were born as 9lb plus babies, and I loose the weight after IF I exercise/eat well just like anyone.
I asked my ob what the focus on weight is...is it GD, he said no, although I'll be tested for that as routine at 28 weeks. In the UK I've never had this obsession with weight by midwives, nor in US.
Like many women weight issues can really stress me out...I hate talking about my weight, hate weighing myself, and am probably about one stone heavier than my ideal weight pre pregnancy. However there have been times I've lost lots of weight, and can't eat, due to being unhappy and valued being 'happy' if a little heavier than I liked.
My question is...how much weight gain is 'normal' for real women who eat and crave chocolate? FYI I just put on 5lbs in last 4 weeks and I think he said 21lbs in total so far.
Thanks for patience reading this!!!!!

BraveLilBear Wed 20-Feb-13 11:39:51

I think in some respects, weighing or at least talking about weight could be useful. I'm not overly keen on being weighed, but I'd welcome the opportunity to voice my concerns - I mentioned low weight gain at my last MW appointment and said I was worried that it was all going to come at once etc and my concerns were pretty much brushed off.

There's a fine line between neurotic measuring and 'you're too fat' to it becoming a taboo subject. I'd like some sensible guidance from HCPs that's non-judgemental and, where possible, specific to me.

LeBFG Wed 20-Feb-13 11:10:04

I feel the same as lots on here. I HATE having my weight monitored (in France) and I have to make a mental effort to ignore the pressure to gain the 'correct' amount. I'm a big believer that if we're hungry in pg there is a reason and we shouldn't ignore it.

Saying that, the OB I spoke to said it was much more of a problem that women ate far too much and that's who they are really targetting. I can see that. The women in my family are pigs love their food and gain immense amounts during pg. It can't be healthy for them or their babies.

emmyloo2 Wed 20-Feb-13 07:34:04

I have had one baby in the UK and am pregnant with my second in Australia. I wasn't weighed at all in the UK apart from maybe the first appointment. Same in Australia. I have a private obstetrician but his midwives never weight me, thankfully. However, I haven't gained much weight so I guess they don't see an issue. I know some obstetricians do weigh you here in Australia. I would find it very annoying and wouldn't want to know. I hate the gaining weight part of pregnancy - I have had body image issues in my past and it's very difficult for me to watch the weight go up.

HazleNutt Wed 20-Feb-13 07:14:59

It helps in my case, I put on weight easily and don't want to end up the size of the house, so pregnancy for me is not an excuse not to control my eating. I have the willpower of a gnat though and would otherwise ignore the scales, so knowing that I will be weighed by the doc does help. Putting on too much weight is also an health issue. I'm pretty sure they would not force me if I said no though.

Mixxy Tue 19-Feb-13 23:04:49

I don't know that the weighing helps worsestershire. I was a size 10 pre- pregnancy, didnt know my exact weight. Eating during pregnancy felt great for me (no real ms). I ate my fruit, my veg, my hummus, my whole grains etc. but I also had pudding and chocolate and crisps. I'm to going to deny myself something because maybe in 3 weeks time Ill have to get on a scale.

I'd be happy to be weighed at every appointment, in fact I'd welcome it. I don't understand people's paranoia. I have read numerous posts on this site where people bemoan not being able to lose excess baby weight.... Wouldn't it be easier to be monitored so that there wasn't excessive baby weight to lose?

Lovelylace Tue 19-Feb-13 18:08:13

I have never been weighed in my whole pregnancy here in the uk...

MisselthwaiteManor Tue 19-Feb-13 16:51:31

I haven't been weighed at all, I was asked my weight at the booking appointment and I could have said anything really.

fathergoose Tue 19-Feb-13 14:24:16

I'm in NYC and have only had 1 HIV test smile Clearly I look more reputable than Mixxy ;)

Also only had one internal so far (at my 36wk appointment when they do the strep b - which I'm all in favour of: I paid privately to get that done in the UK with #1 and would have done so again), although they'll be doing another one tomorrow (39+2).

Although this is #2 for me and #1 went to term, so I guess they know I don't have an incompetent cervix (presumably you either do or you don't, rather than it changing every pregnancy??)....

Weight is an interesting one though: there's definitely the attitude in much of the UK that it's fine/normal/expected to put on weight whilst you're pregnant, which actually can be quite unhealthy for a lot of women (if you take into account the number of women already overweight when they fall pregnant). Then women struggle to lose it post-birth and end up even more overweight... Not advocating the French body-fascism, but somewhere in the middle might be better...

TwitchyTail Tue 19-Feb-13 14:01:03

Ah, just politely decline. It's pointless and stressful and a symptom of the "doing things just because we can" culture of medicine that is prevalent in much of the western world (luckily not in the NHS for the most part, thanks to it being a bit skint and therefore having to think about WHY it does things).

Pretty much all my friends and family who have had babies gained way more than the recommended amounts on those daft charts (3 stone plus), and lost it all within a year with no particular effort. Healthy eating is great but I personally don't think women should be going hungry in pregnancy. But everyone's different.

BraveLilBear Tue 19-Feb-13 13:23:12

Lol Expat - this is true - early in my pregnancy I needed an urgent op on an abscess near my anus which required daily wound dressing. I genuinely lost count of the number of people who got an eyeful.

Glad the fertility treatments paid off for you, tho smile

Brioche that sounds so harsh! Definitely a different approach in France by the sound of things!

ExpatAl Tue 19-Feb-13 13:07:58

Well maybe it's all relative BraveLilBear. I spent so much of my time with legs akimbo during fertility treatments that I barely register it happening now. In fact for my 20 weeks scan I started stripping my bottoms automatically and the radiographer was horrified grin

briochedanslefour Tue 19-Feb-13 13:07:44

I just had a baby 7 weeks ago in France, I too was weighed monthly, monthly bloods for toxo, monthly urine samples and an internal exam and mini scan by my gynae at each monthly appt.

I lost a lot of weight at the beginning due to ms then put it back on and then some and got told to be careful with what I ate otherwise id be sent to a nutritionist!! I put roughly a kg per month which he seemed happy with.
Although at my one month pos partum check he prodded my flabby belly and mentioned that id got a few kg still to loose!!

They all seem obsessed here with weight, I feel like a lot of woman here smoke and drink copious amounts of coffee to keep the weight off!!

Ive now got to pluck up the courage to book in for my post birth fannyphysio re-education of my pelvic floor where I get something shoved up there and have to clench along with the dashes I see on the screen!!

BraveLilBear Tue 19-Feb-13 12:57:07

Expat - they'd check you if you had a problem, say unexplained bleeding or a possible infection, but certainly not 'just in case'.

I honestly don't know how well I'd cope if there was a long line of 'just in case' internals awaiting me during pregnancy - it's bad enough being examined during labour.

ExpatAl Tue 19-Feb-13 12:55:34

It was just once at about 18/19 weeks as I recall, seeing that's when you're likely to see funneling if someone has an IC. The problem with pregnancy is that a great many checks are unnecessary if you have no problems.

sleepyhead Tue 19-Feb-13 12:48:09

Poking about at a pregnant woman's cervix on a regular basis seems a great way to introduce bacteria. Poking at a possibly incompetent cervix doesn't sound too clever either hmm

I guess you'd have to calculate how many otherwise asymptomatic incompetent cervixes were found through internal examination (and whether the outcome was measurably different due to early identification) versus the number of infections introduced by routine internal exams etc.

A lot of "routine" checks in health care are based on little or no evidence. Any decent HCP should be able to tell you exactly why they are doing something and what the consequences of not doing it would be.

ghoulelocks Tue 19-Feb-13 12:37:33

expat, I know little on this but I would have thought the risk of infection or damage was higher than the risk of incompetent cervix?

ExpatAl Tue 19-Feb-13 12:35:33

To check for incompetent cervix.

Mummysaysno Tue 19-Feb-13 12:35:30

Mixxy...making me laugh!

Do none of you just say no thank you ?!

ghoulelocks Tue 19-Feb-13 12:31:57

expat-no, why would they?

ExpatAl Tue 19-Feb-13 12:30:40

Do they not check your cervix at all during pregnancy in the UK?

HazleNutt Tue 19-Feb-13 12:26:39

In France, I only got 1 HIV test, but you get monthly toxo tests. That actually makes sense.

noblegiraffe Tue 19-Feb-13 12:22:25

What on earth are they looking for in an internal exam before you go into labour?! I also thought you couldn't have a smear when pregnant because it's all changing down there anyway.

Good old NHS, the most the midwife came at me with was a tape measure.

Mixxy Tue 19-Feb-13 12:19:13

Oh yeah mummysaysno, I forgot the second vaginal exam for gonorrhea was accompanied by a Q-tip up my arse for strep B.

I keep joking to my sister, 'still negative for HIV' and she replies 'phew! One less thing to worry'.

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