Mumsnet Talk

We didn't want to know until we were offered the info, when we suddenly decided we did!

Despite not caring two hoots about gender and still buying mostly neutral clothes, it just feels lovely to say 'he'

We didn't find out, and before I fell pregnant I was adamant I wanted to know but then when it came to it DH and I decided not to. I loved not knowing, we were convinced we were having a boy and when DD popped out it was the biggest (best) surprise of my life!

We are planning on trying again soon for number 2, practically I think it would be better to know whether I keep all DD's stuff or get rid of it and start again but part of me doesn't want to know again. We shall wait and see when the time comes.

No, neither of them. My DH said he wouldn't have minded knowing for the second.

I had a hunch (being a bit scan savvy) for second that was right. MW said it looked like a boy the way I was presenting, but then she came out and MW said 'No - girls; it's all girls here.' Or something like that. It was nice!

Loads of people love to know though; and I usually had the other reaction BTW! One person even implied I was silly to have forgotten to ask .

also I did have extra scans and one at 36wks it got harder everytime not to ask. but was a lot of fun guessing me and dh would look up all the myths on the net and think its a boy ...no its a girl etc.

I didn't find out... although I had a name that me and dh decided on when I was 5 months pregnant and it would be the same name whether a boy or a girl...whilst I didn't tell people it helped me to bond and talk to my baby.
I went through pros and cons and the biggest pro was the fact that it helps not knowing during birth its something for you to think of when times get tough.
Whilst I do think I could have bonded with my baby more if I knew the sex and could picture her I was suprised when she arrived how much of a personality she had already and how I didn't think of her as mine but she is another person and I am looking after her and watching her grow. What a privilege had I known she was a girl I may have placed some kind of personality on her? I will not know.
I do know that if I knew she was a girl I would have spend loads on clothes ... summer dresses etc- though I am doing that now anyway!
Am considering already when TTC the next that I may find out the sex as I would like a boy and it would help us plan... I don't think I would tell anyone though!

I didn't want to know but DP did so we gave the deciding vote to my 16 yo DS who decided we would find out. I was over the moon when scan revealed DD was a girl but still feel now that I would rather have waited and found out on the day

I kind of do want to find out because the technology wasn't there with my previous DC, but then on the other hand it really doesn't bother me, I prefer neutrals on newborns anyway, I have one of each already, I don't think I have any strong preference (maybe 55:45 towards a girl) OH doesn't want to know and says he has no preference (meaning by that, no disappointment/having to get used to it)
My hospital don't tell you anyway so would be a case of going private, already had 2 private scans so money is an issue as well.

I do agree with the finder-outers though in one respect - whenever you find out it is a surprise, and I am 100% certain it doesn't diminish the excitement on the day you finall yget to meet your baby.

Found out with no 1 and 2 - now pregnant with no3 who will be our last and decided not to fund out this time round.

I found out first time round. Didn't even consider not finding out. I don't understand why people make a bit deal of it. Some people find out and then don't tell other people - I find that so strange. It's not that big a deal to keep it secret from people! I was very sick in pregnancy - tired and quite fed up as I wasn't really a bloomer and so identifying the baby by knowing if it was a boy or girl helped it feel more real and not just like something had taken over my body and was making me ill!

My 20 week scan is this Monday. DH doesn't want to find out but I do. I agreed we wouldn't because he wouldn't let the subject drop but the closer it gets the more desperately I now want to know. When people say "oh but it'll be such a lovely surprise" I think yes it would be if that were my choice, but its not and I feel like I'm being cheated out of a very special experience. I suggested I find out but not tell anyone else but DH thinks I'll let it slip, and he could be right. I feel like I have to decide whose feelings/opinions are more important, mine or his?

Didn't find out first time around. Loved having the surprise - although everyone thought I would have a girl so I was a bit of a shock to find out I'd had a DS! - but I didn't find out in a 'normal' way. I had an emergency ga section, so I got told in recovery.
This time around we have found out and I am loving knowing that I'm having a girl.
No regrets about either decision. Each one was the right decision at the time for us.

We found out - I wasn't all that keen initially, but DH really wanted to. I think it was nice for him especially to feel more connected, especially as we have miscarried before and it made this baby feel more certain, somehow!

People do sometimes say that they love the surprise, but then has anyone ever had a first baby and said it was exactly how they expected?

I'm 16 weeks and we are going to find out. DP was really keen to find out and I was undecided. After thinking about it we just thought it was more practical to be able to have everything sorted and bought before hand. All our family live far away and DP might not be able to take very long on PL so I wanted everything as organised as possible. Also couldn't handle the thought of sending DP out to buy clothes on his own for the baby particularly if she is a girl. I spoke to my mum about what to do (she didn't find out with me) and she said that in our circumstances we should find out if we want to and at the end of the day when the baby is born all we will care about is if it is healthy and finding out what is or isn't between their legs won't make the moment we first meet our baby anymore special because nothing can top that feeling. I think that applies whatever you decide to do- there is no wrong decision.

I'm currently 27wks, first pregnancy and found out I'm having a wee boy...I love the fact I have a new wee pal and we're making lots of plans together...I'm just nosey and couldn't wait...love the fact I know his name and feel like we've bonded. ..like others say, I just got the surprise sooner

Didn't find out with either.

Yes, both times! Meeting dc1 was enough of a surprise even though I already knew he was a boy, as I'm sure dd will be when I meet her in a few weeks.

Plus I'm way too impatient...

I'm 12 weeks at the moment, but I don't think we're going to find out. Partly for the surprise, and partly for other slightly selfish reasons that I won't go into!

I found out with both my ds's

On dc3 now and booked a gender scan for 2wks time, but DP now says he doesn't want to find out, I know it would be a lovely Suprise, but waiting all that time to find out seems impossible to me lol, too impatient.

Definitely no regrets at asking.
DD1s birth took 27 hrs. It would have seemed even longer if I didn't already feel I knew her.

Yes, I had an amniotic first time so they knew for certain and were quite happy to tell me.

DH and I desperately wanted a girl and really wanted time to adjust if it was a boy. Totally football loathing household.

Second time I wasn't as bothered, but asked at my 20 week scan anyway. She thought girl and DD2 she is.

Of course DD2 has been known to play football, tag rugby and hockey and gets out of bed every Sat for ballet. So we didn't totally escape.

Thank you for all your responses. I like the fact that nobody has regretted their decision either way - so you can't seem to go wrong. I asked DP again tonight and he's keen to know, so I think we will find out. As someone said, it will still be a lovely surprise on the day to be handed a real baby!

Shame about the insomnia right now though!

We found out with both, (DD 14 and DS 9 weeks) and decided to because, for us, we were then able to bond with our little people using their name (we also had those sorted).

I totally get why people want the surprise but we felt it was right for us to know and plan accordingly because we're both nosy bastards

Good luck!

I found out and it was great I was dying to know and I hate surprises!

There was a thread similar to this recently and there was a roughly equal split between people who didn't find out, were glad they didn't, and couldn't imagine why anyone would, and people who did find out, were glad they did, and couldn't imagine why anyone wouldn't. Surprisingly no-one regretted their choice. Just go with what you want and it seems you can't go wrong

I found out with this one DC 4 I had 3 losses and I never got to know as was early so knowing,having short list of names and actually knowing it was what I hoped for as this is my final lap is just great!
Different stroke for different folks!!!!
It's def a personal choice and I still haven't told the family so it will be a surprise to everyone else but us!!!
5 weeks and counting and I'm sure I will still be emotional and crying about it all!!!!!

Good luck!

Yes, and it was awesome to!