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Wedding booked for June - just found out I'm pregnant - dress woes

(34 Posts)
learningaswego Tue 29-Jan-13 05:45:01

Completely thrilled with the news but am now freaking out about the wedding part.

Ordered and paid for my dress Sat - been trying to get hold of the bridal shop to cancel order (as this isn't a dress that I'm going to be able to have let out enough) but think I'm going to have to go in and talk to the management, which I'm going to find really embarrassing as I only look about 12 (rather than 24)... but alas life goes on. Before I sort it out with the shop really need to decide on these 3 options:

1) Bring the wedding forward to March (partner takes professional exams in April that are very important to career). I'd prefer this but partner is reluctant as we had planned June for a reason...lalalala. I know this sounds really vain - and it completely is - but I'd just like to feel pretty on the day and in the pictures.

2) Keep date set in June.. have to find a "maternity wedding dress" sad

3) Postpone...

I don't suppose anyone knows typical bump sizes for 23 weeks? (That could help me in pursuit of a dress that might fit in June..

Thanks anyone who made it to the end. This post is purely based on vanity and wanting to look good on my wedding day... but it doesn't mean I'm not grateful to be pregnant. Anyone in the same boat out there?!

ohfunnyhoneyface Tue 29-Jan-13 06:28:04

What size are you now? Could you post link to the dress style?

leannac Tue 29-Jan-13 06:38:46

Go have a look at maternity wedding dresses in Tiffany rose. If you have to be 23 wks then for frm you prob won't have huge bump but will definitely be thick around the waist & need maternity wear. I totally understand you're wanting to change to march when you will prob look better but bear in mind you might feel sick - I got married at 12wks & felt slightly queasy all day!

Think long term - your partner doing well in his professional exams will make a big difference to his career and salary, so you need to prioritise that over looking pretty.

23 weeks is quite a good stage to get married. Your will have a proper bump, but it will still be small (at 12 weeks you may look a bit bloated and fat), and 2nd trimester is definitely the easiest as the tiredness and sickness eases off a bit before the discomfort of late pregnancy sets in.

Seraphine also has pretty maternity wedding dresses
http://www.seraphine.com/luxe-collection/maternity-wedding-dresses.html

TwitchyTail Tue 29-Jan-13 08:18:00

I would much, much rather have got married at 23 weeks than in first trimester. I felt (and looked) utterly grim from 6-17 weeks and would not have enjoyed anyone's wedding, let alone my own.

Personally being married before my baby was born (obviously assuming I had already made the decision to get married!) would be more important than having a little bump in photos. And as someone who has had to take a lot of professional exams, having a wedding and honeymoon the month before would have been very disruptive and spoilt the experience for me a bit, so I sympathise with your partner.

I would keep to June. You will still look pretty at 23 weeks! In fact people were telling me frequently how well I looked at that stage. (At almost 33 weeks now they've stopped, haha grin ) Go and speak to the bridal shop in person. A lot of "standard" wedding dresses can be altered to fit a pregnant shape so don't feel you are restricted to maternity styles (there was a Don't Tell The Bride on this recently - bride was 38 weeks and looked amazing in a normal altered dress) - your original dress may even be suitable with some alterations.

MrsPennyapple Tue 29-Jan-13 08:37:28

I'm getting married in May and will be 27 weeks. Although I didn't want a maternity wedding dress, being married is more important to me than having a nice dress. I do totally understand why you'd want to rearrange though. I have no clue what I'm going to wear so will be checking out those links.

I had an eleven week bump in my dress which was a floaty chiffon type, but it was a real squeeze. Much later, and I would have needed a bigger dress or a maternity one.

I had a very clear bump, and it is so so lovely looking at the wedding photos and thinking "ahh theres DD" and I know she will enjoy that when she is older.

Go for the Maternity Dress.

curiousgeorgie Tue 29-Jan-13 09:52:09

I'm 5 months now and barely have a bump... In fact, I'm pretty sure I could fit in my wedding dress grin

Maybe your dress can be slightly altered?

feetheart Tue 29-Jan-13 10:03:41

We had the same thing although I was 17 weeks at our June wedding. I was never going to go for a traditional white dress and the clingy Monsoon one I liked was never going to work but I got a gorgeous floaty embroidered green silk dress one size up from my usual size and it fitted perfectly on the day.
I did have a few alternatives lined up in various shops just in case the first one didn't fit but that was just me being extra cautious.

It's lovely to look back and tell DS(now 7) that he was at our wedding, just in my tummy not running around like DD smile

Stick to the date, talk to the shop in person and enjoy both the wedding and your pregnancy.

mylittlemonkey Tue 29-Jan-13 10:04:49

Agree with other posts, personally it would be important to me to be married before having baby but it depends how you feel about that.if you are happy to get married after baby then postpone and then you can relax during your pregnancy and then plan your wedding after.

23 weeks is probably the best point in pg to get married as you will more than likely be over the sickness and feeling tired and unwell and have a lovely bump. Thee are some beautiful maternity wedding dresses as others have suggested and you could get top up photos done as well as full shots. At that stage you would still look as beautiful.

I would definately not want my wedding a month before any process all exams and you would probably find your OH very stressed and not have very much time to help with anything to do with the wedding and I think that's would spoil it for both of you.

Thumbwitch Tue 29-Jan-13 10:08:54

I got married when I was 17w pg and tbh, no one would have known if I hadn't told them. I did have to have a couple of panels put into the side of my bodice and the waist let out a touch, but apart from that, honestly you couldn't tell.

You won't necessarily need a "maternity" wedding dress at that point (unless you balloon massively); you just need to find a style that doesn't come in tight across your belly.

Good luck; and believe me, you will still look pretty on your wedding day smile

GET THIS! Would be comfy and at that stage you wont be huge yet. I felt so much better at 23 weeks. I'd started looking pg instead of fat. My hormonal acne had died down and I didn't feel knackered and grumpy.

MrsPennyapple Tue 29-Jan-13 10:22:58

Was on my phone earlier, which is a pain to type on, so didn't post as much as I wanted to.

I was going to say that I was pg last year, and we originally planned the wedding for after the baby would be born, specifically because I didn't want to have the maternity dress etc. Unfortunately I mc'd. Then I fell pg again, and after thinking about it realised that I'd far rather get married with a bump than with a bf-ing baby. This may not be a factor for you if you don't plan on bf, you might not have even thought about that at this stage, but if you are, it is worth thinking about, with regard to both the timing of the wedding and the style of dress you go for.

Re: a 23 week bump, it varies quite a lot. I didn't find out I was pg with DD until I was 19 weeks. I went from no bump whatsoever to a proper 5 month bump in the space of a week. People at work were saying "THAT wasn't there on Monday!" about my bump. It was a very nice neat bump, but in that week I went from normal trousers fitting fine to NONE of my clothes fitting me.

Thumbwitch Tue 29-Jan-13 10:23:46

I like that dress, Horrace. smile

StuckOnARollercoaster Tue 29-Jan-13 10:40:35

Another one voting for keeping the date - I'm 21 weeks and life is so much better than in the first trimester - less sickness, more energy and although I now have a small bump - its a clear pregnancy bump rather than a general 'got a bit more weight around the middle'.

Have a think about the style of dress because comfort is becoming more important to me now - especially if you'll wear it all day. I can understand why people naturally gravitate to the empire style that is in the link above. Its a nice dress - but just not my style at all and I'd want to look around for other options. My favourite dress at the moment is a kind of 'crepe' material that drapes around the bump but is still loose enough to not feel tight and constricting.

Hopefully your dress shop will let you choose another option within their shop so you don't lose any money and can guide you on the fitting. I'm guessing your alterations will have to be fairly last minute because bumps progress at their own pace - I think I'm fairly big for this stage on a 1st pregnancy, but I've read of others on here at the same stage that are even bigger!

Good luck!

talulahbeige Tue 29-Jan-13 10:56:42

Not a major deciding factor but my niece loves being able to look at her parents wedding pics and point out her mum's bump and say she was there

AlisonL1981 Tue 29-Jan-13 11:16:57

I'm currently 26 weeks and still wearing pre pregnancy jeans (although they are the under the bump kind). Depending on the style of the dress you may be ok!

LuckyOwl28 Tue 29-Jan-13 12:07:33

If it means you won't lose out financially and haven't gone to great lengths to send out invites etc then I would be tempted to postpone. It may be overwhelming to have your 'big day' during pregnancy as you'll have so many other things on your mind. If you're likely to look back at wedding pictures and regret not having your dream dress then maybe you should wait until baby's here?

Then again you may find an equally fabulous dress and it may make it extra special looking back at those photos thinking the baby was part of your big day too!

Good luck deciding xx

redandyellowandpinkandgreen Tue 29-Jan-13 13:01:43

Hello

I got married about the same stage of pregnancy and a local dressmaker made my dress and altered it as we went on. It was a bit of a rush job though and I didn't care too much about the dress so I'm not that much help! I had a small bump, you could see I was pregnant definitely. It was a lovely day though and I worried that if we postponed we'd never get round to it.

rrreow Tue 29-Jan-13 13:29:39

Congrats!

A friend of mine got married at around 23 weeks and she looked gorgeous, very flattering dress. I think she got it off the internet. Here is a picture: www.flickr.com/photos/rrreow/4867875995/in/set-72157624671231482

Also I'd say around 23 weeks would be nice to get married (especially in June) as you'll still feel good with reasonable energy levels. In March you might still feel quite rough/tired depending on whether you're getting any morning sickness.

foofooyeah Tue 29-Jan-13 13:40:05

My niece got married at about the same stage as you are, she looked beautiful, she had a lovely dress - and the pictures all looked great, you cant see the bump from the front. Hers was already booked when she found out she was pregnant

Beatrixpotty Tue 29-Jan-13 14:33:44

I got married at 28 weeks in the summer and found a lovely white maternity maxi dress from Isabella Oliver which when worn with a veil looked bridal enough.Wore heels down the aisle and then had a pair of jewelled flip flops to wear later as feet got tired.
I would go for sticking to your wedding date,getting married whilst pregnant was great and probably made me more relaxed about the day itself as you've got other things to think about.Also meant that wedding present vouchers were used for baby stuff which was really helpful!

This website would be fab for dresses. Look at her, doesn't she look beautiful? You can be pretty and pregnant, but probably not in first trimester!

Ivvu6 Tue 29-Jan-13 15:58:32

Hi, I got married when I was 19 weeks pregnant and you could barely tell. I was size 6 before and by the wedding day my size had gone up just a little(now I have but on 3 stone lol)You dont have to get maternity dress if you get one with corset. Then you can pull it up as tight as you want and if it gets uncomfortable you can loosen it through out the day.

rainand Tue 29-Jan-13 16:02:22

I'm 23 weeks and have a bump, but not a huge one. I'd much rather get married now than in the 1st trimester, as I felt awfully sick. The ideal time for me would have been been around 18-20 weeks, but of course everyone is different.

How about you have it in May as soon as his exams are over? That way you may not even need a maternity dress and the sickness should be over then too (assuming you do get sickness).

All the best with it, sounds very exciting! smile

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