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When did you tell your close family?

(26 Posts)
Blanketsandpillows Thu 24-Jan-13 19:07:52

We originally said we'd tell no one until after our 12 week scan, but after my first MW appointment today (booking appointment) I'm dying to tell my parents! If I tell mine we'll have to tell DH's also. I am 8 weeks along. Did anyone here wait? Did anyone regret telling too soon? We will hold off telling anyone else until after the scan.

Christelle2207 Thu 24-Jan-13 19:11:24

Yes I told just after a private scan at 8w3d. I thought about telling them before (I turned 8 weeks on christmas day) but wasn't convinced there was a baby in there tbh! Will tell the masses after 12 wk scan which is tomorrow.

Dogsmom Thu 24-Jan-13 19:12:44

I told mine as soon as I had the positive test and asked them not to tell anyone else, Dad was fine with it but Mom did get very irritating as she was desperate to tell people and kept saying 'I'll just tell X' they wont tell anyone, in the end I lost my rag and she shut up until after the scan (well I PRESUME she did)

I also told my best friend who is totally trustworthy.

Everyone else was after the scan.

Beatrixpotty Thu 24-Jan-13 19:33:32

Every time(now pg with DC3)told both sets of parents after the 12week scan..figured as they were going to be grandparents if anything went wrong before then ,then they had more to lose and would be more upset so wanted to be absolutely sure all was well.Told 1-2 close friends at 8-10 weeks though & swore to secrecy.One was because she asked outright if I was and I didn't want to lie.Somehow felt relieved to have told someone else though but did not tell DH my friends knew in case he slipped it out by accident to someone less trustworthy!

Rache1S Thu 24-Jan-13 19:40:17

I told my Sister about a hour after BFP and other close friends and family over the following week. No regrets, it was lovely talking about it. I kindly asked people not to gossip about it and they respected that so I was well past 12 weeks when most people found out. There are no laws regarding when you spill the beans, just choose what's right for you smile

TwitchyTail Thu 24-Jan-13 19:58:02

Parents - at 4 weeks exactly, about 10 minutes after the positive test. By email as they were on holiday! grin I am close to them and would have wanted their support even if the worst happened.

MisselthwaiteManor Thu 24-Jan-13 19:58:02

We wanted to wait till the scan but told DHs family at 10 weeks, asked them to keep it quiet for a bit longer as I've had lots of miscarriages inthe past and don't want to go through it again publicly, but MIL went and told the whole world and his dog. I won't bother telling them early next time.

IJustWoreMyTrenchcoat Thu 24-Jan-13 20:05:13

I regret telling my in-laws weeks before my parents. My partner was dying to tell (we told them around 7 weeks) but I wasn't ready to tell everyone. I originally wanted to tell after the first scan, but I felt very guilty keeping it from my lovely supportive family who have always done so much for us while his family who can be a bit 'difficult' to say the least knew.

Also very much regret that certain members of his family told everybody they came across when I had asked them not to as I didn't want the world to know if something went wrong. People I have never even met know before my own siblings. Grrrr, will know for next time!

TwitchyTail Thu 24-Jan-13 20:40:21

By the way, as long as your parents are discreet, there's no rule that says you HAVE to tell your husband's parents at the same time. Although I get on great with my in-laws, we waited until about 10 weeks to tell them, despite telling my own parents straight away, and no-one minded in the least. Yes, we were both having a baby, but I was the one who was pregnant and dealing with all the physical symptoms, so I felt it was my prerogative to seek support from my own family before the public "announcements" so to speak.

StuckOnARollercoaster Thu 24-Jan-13 20:52:35

Told my mum the same day as pregnancy test came back positive!
We intended to tell the in laws as soon as we got back from hols, but they did something really hurtful to DP while we were away that he didn't want to mention it. In the end they were told after the 12 week scan.
Generally we haven't mentioned it unless it comes up naturally or work colleagues guessed I was ill with the constant throwing up and fetching green tinge I had!

yfuwchhapus Thu 24-Jan-13 21:04:24

We didn't tell anyone until 16wks, had a previous miscarriage and didn't want to raise my DP hopes if it all went wrong.

ladymia Thu 24-Jan-13 21:16:38

parents and brother (so yes close family) as soon as I got a positive! I had a previous miscarriage too and knew if I had another I would want their support.

Eletheomel Thu 24-Jan-13 21:19:50

We didn't tell anyone until after our 12 wk scan. We did the same when we had my son a few years back, I'm just too worried of jinxing things.

(in between this pregnancy and my son I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks and was really glad I hadn't told anyone as I didn't have to face everyone asking about it (when I wasn't ready to talk about it) or being awkward around me.

milkandribena Thu 24-Jan-13 21:37:25

not till 12wk scan.
Didn't want to tempt fate telling people before

LexiLoganberryBump Thu 24-Jan-13 22:14:41

We told both sets of parents straight after bfp and regreted it, mil told my dh sisters and adult nieces and nephews, I was upset as lots of people on dh side knew before my grandparents and brother, not telling anyone this time till around 16 weeks, if anything happened to the pregnancy we wouldn't seek support from them and it would just be gossiped about to all and sundry.

If you would turn to your close relations should you need support then there's no harm in telling them.

MorganLeFey Fri 25-Jan-13 09:16:29

We told my parents, DH's siblings then his parents at the next opportunity that we saw them face to face after 12 weeks. Although we'd had an early scan at 6+4 & seen a heartbeat.
Had told a few need-to-know colleagues before then as I was sick/wanting to avoid a few risks...
My job is full of pregnancies going wrong at every stage so I wanted to wait until passing a mental/statistical threshold! blush

My parents did an admirable job of keeping schtum till we came down at Christmas to tell my intermediate family (grandparents, aunt/uncle, cousins) at around 16 weeks!

PandaWatch Fri 25-Jan-13 10:42:00

We told the parents at 8 weeks, DH's sister and her husband at about nine weeks and everyone else after the 12 week scan (when I actually turned out to be 11+6).

My reasons for not telling my siblings were that I didn't trust one of my sisters to keep it quiet, otherwise I would have told them before the first scan as well. My instincts were right though - I asked her not to put anything on facebook at least until we had told everyone we wanted to tell in person (and I didn't really want it announced on FB anyway). A few hours after I said that to her she posted about it anyway angry

DrMcDreamysWife Fri 25-Jan-13 10:47:44

I told my parents and brother and sistet at 10 weeks. I would have waited till the scan but I went to stay with them so it was nice to tell them in person ( I live 300 mila away). Also I was suffering horrible morning sickness and couldn't eat so it was pretty obvious!!

Waited till the scan before telling friends and parents in law

Librarina Fri 25-Jan-13 11:49:17

We invited both sets of parents round for dinner just before Christmas and told them then, I was 12 weeks and had just had the scan. It was lovely to be able to show them the picture - made it all a bit more concrete.

I had told my yoga teacher and work before that, DH had told his best mate so we both had someone to buzz a little bit with in the early weeks. We told everyone else on Christmas eve when I was 16 weeks and they were astonished we'd kept it a secret so long!

I told my mum at 5 weeks as I speak to her very day on phone. I also have had 3 mc's so I needed her to know in incase the same happened. My in laws we told at 8 weeks as wouldn't accept that I would not like a glass of wine with dinner. Everyone else after scan. Do what feels best for you. I needed someone to know so I could talk about it, as I had no idea what's normal and also very anxious. Congratulations!

Msbluesky32 Fri 25-Jan-13 15:45:35

We told both sides of the family the day of our 12 week scan. Tbh it all seemed really surreal to us at first and then after a few weeks it was quite nice to have it as our little secret for a while smile

BraveLilBear Fri 25-Jan-13 16:31:10

Congrats Blankets I wanted to wait til after 12 week scan initially, having had early mc only a month before which we'd told no-one about, but ended up telling my immediate family about 8 weeks along as I was in hospital for somehting else and the whole bloody place knew and kept blurting it out. My mum and a sister came to visit me so I had to tell them in case someone said something while they were there.

Then told dad and other sister next day. Swore them all to absolute secrecy and to keep everything offline until I said otherwise.

Didn't get a chance to tell OH's family until after the scan - had planned to around Xmas but I was so ill that hardly left the house to visit them, except for when we had OH's son with us. Eventually told them after the scan, but I was furious as OH had told his sister, who had told his brother, and his brother told his dad before we could. Obviously, he had failed in the whole 'make sure they are sworn to secrecy' thing.

I was really upset by this as my family are far away and OH's family have always been supportive. He initially wanted to tell them by text, til I expalined that it mattered to me, as well.

Still, news still offline, which is the main thing to me. Once have told both bosses at work (one down, one on Tuesday) I'll feel more relaxed. I'll be 15 weeks on Monday.

Do whatever you feel comfortable with - and good luck!

elliejjtiny Fri 25-Jan-13 16:57:15

DH told his mum and dad at 10 weeks. I had a scan at 11 weeks and then we told DS1, DS2 and DS3. I told my mum and dad at 15 weeks. I've not told anyone else yet (apart from a random stranger who was using a sling I was thinking about getting and DS1 has told his teacher.

ShephardsDelight Fri 25-Jan-13 17:02:05

a few days after finding out , both times.

weeblueberry Fri 25-Jan-13 17:33:20

I told my mum the night we found out. Mainly because the night I got my BFPs all seven of them DP had to be admitted to hospital with chest pains. Unrelated chest pains. wink

He was absolutely fine and I knew he was but when mum turned up at the A&E waiting room to sit with me (even when I'd explicitly told her not to as I knew I'd end up blurting it out...) she asked why my hands were shaking and I was very very pale... So I had to tell her because she thought DP was far sicker than he actually was and she was starting to get herself into a panic.

Probably not the nicest way to tell your mum she's about to become a grandmother - surrounded by people all getting more and more annoyed about how long they've been waiting to be seen by a doc. wink

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