Mumsnet Talk

Hi -

Been having a conversation about breathing the baby out Vs pushing and wondered if anyone had any experiences of this they would be happy to share? Am hoping for a VBAC after a traumatic ECS last time and tentatively heading down the hypnobirthing route. However, all discussions with MW have talked about pushing so am wondering if the reality is that I will end up just doing as am told in the heat of the moment .

Thanks in advance!

I found that my body just did it...I can't really explain it. I wasn't actively doing anything but could feel my body pushing DD out...

I did hypnobirthing and breathed DC2 out (I'd had a truamatic birth with DC1 resulting in forceps, episiotomy and a lot of subsequent issues that took a while to heal/fix).

It was a really beautiful experience and I honestly didn't push - I just focused on my breathing. Apparently I was completely calm and silent. The baby was born with absolutely no intervention; I only had gas & air, and no tearing. At the time I was doing it, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. I felt as though I would be doing the baby a disservice by forcing her out via pushing hard. I recovered amazingly quickly - was home within a couple of hours, felt fine and was on a high for weeks afterwards. It was completely different from my first labour, where I struggled to walk or sit down for weeks on end. I bled less the second time too.

BUT labour was progressing very well and she was coming down the birth canal all on her own anyway. I wouldn't have been able to breathe DC1 out because the baby was lying in a funny position, got stuck, the cord was round his neck, his heartbeat was all over the place, as was my blood pressure and I was seconds away from having the kind of c-section where the doctors have to push the baby back up the birth canal and remove it through the abdomen (can't remember what it's called and it sounds absolutely awful).

So what I'm saying is - I recommend hypnobirthing but I don't believe that it can work if there is a complication with your labour. So if your baby is breech, for example, or gets stuck, hypnobirthing can help you stay calm and deal with the pain but you're not going to be able to breathe out a baby that's got stuck....

I guess that what I'm saying is, give it a go, it can be wonderful, and I believe that it is far less traumatic for the baby BUT don't set unrealistic expectations for yourself; sometimes nature intervenes and we can't control every aspect of childbirth! If you end up having to push the baby out, or having some type of medical intervention, you won't have "failed."

That's my opinion anyway!

Ds1 my body just started pushing on its own I cudnt stop it just felt huge pressure, he was out in 2 pushes and 5 mins.

Ds2 no pushing would budge him never mind breathing, he was well and truly stuck, for over 2 hours I pushed my hardest, docs had to help get him out. I really thought it was going to be easy given the first time, but he was transverse and over 2.5ib bigger than ds1.

If you want to go with hypnobirthing try it hun, if you find at the time you feel you need to push etc then let your body take over. It's your birth and your choices so its totally up to you x

I did hypnobirthing, I only used gas and air, no stitches. But I didn't breath the baby out, I pushed like hell!! But it was all very calm and gentle and the midwives and my mum and DP were having a right good time given how relaxed it all was!!

I recovered very quickly.

That was my first, hope it goes as well for my second!!

I don't really get the pushing thing....my body just did it, I didn't actually have any control.

I did do lots of "pushing" with DS1 - I'd had an epidural and could feel nothing, but apparently my pushing was rubbish, so the ventouse were needed.

DS2 was just pushed out during contractions, I didn't know he was coming.

DD was just pushed out. I was using hypnobirthing, and it was brilliant. Pain free, but like being blown by a very strong wind.

I had a crap first birth (induction epidural,be rouse,forceps,transfusion,arsehole rebuilt months later)
Second one (and third) I don't remember doing anything, my body just did it. I had no drugs, gas and air, no stitches,no trauma. The babies just came out with the waves if that makes sense?

pushed first one out and tore really badly -induction, epidural and gas and air

breathed no2 out -fast spontaneous labour, midwife just stood back and let me get on with it, no pain relief, just did what my body told me to do, and that wasn't to push

it was very odd because every birth you see on tv, and my first, the womena are being told to push as hard as they can, so I felt like I should be doing something, but nature just took it's course

no stitches, wanted to go home straight away but they have a4 hour rule in my area and dd2 was born at 9pm so I had to wait until next morning -grr

I had done some hypnobirthing stuff - a short evening course and listened to CDs, and had a very positive, pretty calm birth at home with no pain relief except water. Tore but not too badly, recovered quickly.

No one was with me and DH for most of labour - MWs arrived about half hour before birth - but I did a LOT of pushing as I found it to help with pain of contractions for the last few hours. I actually felt bad about pushing, partly due to hypnobirthing, partly as I thought I wasn't dilated and was worried about pushing baby out of a closed cervix. But couldn't really stop myself.

Then when MWs came and DS was crowning/trying to get out they were telling me to 'push with the pain' and I found I couldn't really work out how to force myself to push, I could only do what my body would do iyswim.

This was first birth so I don't have much frame of reference but I do believe that HB helped me to stay calm and allow my body to do what it needed to do.

Oh, but as with PP I do think there will be some births where hypnobirthing and breathing won't be enough, however hopefully it would help make births as positive as possible and I was a firm believer that I wanted to have as many 'tools' as possible to help me through the birth without interventions as far as possible.

All 3 times for me it was a reflex- I couldn't have stopped the pushing even if I'd wanted to. But the pushing stage is a massive relief ime. I did try and control my breathing though, to give me something to concentrate on more than anything else, and didn't tear.

Those of you that did hypnobirthing, how did you learn how to do it? Did you read up/go to classes??

My friend from works mum was a trainee hypnobirth lady. I was terrified about giving birth again, she did me some tapes and stuff.

I had a 4 day painful back to back labour with ds and was pushing for over 2 hrs. He was also 9 1/2 lbs. Before I started pushing the midwife told me that once the head was delivered she would give me back the gas and air and she wanted me to concentrate on not pushing, just breathing the gas and air very slowly and baby would come on its own.
Easier said than done though, once the head was delivered, she gave me back the gas and air and I was doing really well until the next contraction came and I had this overwhelming urge to push. All I can remember was her telling me not to and just breathe and I pushed anyway and tore really badly. Obviously this may have happened if I had of breathed him out, I will never be sure, but I think the idea of not pushing is to allow baby to slide out with as little trauma as possible.
I think if you can actually resist the urge to push, it's a good idea in theory

Really interesting reading here, I had to push DD out as my contractions pretty much stopped so she wasn't coming out without some incentive from me.

DS due in 2 weeks so hoping to focus on my breathing a bit more as did tear with DD. However given the speed she arrived I'm not sure I'm going to have much time to do anything this time around!!

Sorry I didn't say, I actually felt the tear as I pushed.

What I will say is the best thing I did wrt to relaxation etc was relax my jaw /go slack jawed and wiggle my fingers and toes during contractions. In order to 'wiggle' your fingers and toes your muscles have to be relaxed and whilst it wasn't a pleasant sensation (!) I focused on the wiggling and breathing (counting up and down to the peak of the contraction) and visualising it as a colour (no, I am not batshit!!)
Dd2 was 9lb8 and ds was 9lb which are good weights (although smaller than dd1) and I found wiggling helpful...

My body pushed without me doing anything, was totally uncontrollable.

Not sure who asked (can't scroll up due to iPad playing up) but I googled hypnotherapists in my area, and saw one privately. I had a few sessions with her, and she gave me a CD to use at home too.

The sessions were fascinating. Part of the practise involved hypnotising myself so that I couldn't feel pain in, say, my arm or leg .... the hypnotherapist stuck a pin in me to prove that it had worked! (The pain relief part of hypnotherapy didn't work for me during labour - I was too scared during the first stage to let myself relax enough unfortunately).

Due to my first birth, I was terrified of pushing the baby out the second time round and that's why I wanted hypnotherapy to help me cope. It was more about relaxation, and my only goal was to breathe the baby out calmly rather than pushing and tearing. When I felt the baby begin to descend the birth canal it was as though a switch automatically flipped inside my head; I because incredibly calm and focused, and sort of went into myself .... Totally unlike my normal self I might add! The midwife was telling me to push but I just ignored her and breathed, and everything felt right. Of course, part of the reason for that was that i hadnt had an epidural and therefore i could actually feel what my body was trying to do, unlike the first time (although this time I could feel the pain too!). And the pain during that stage, although noticeable, was a positive sensation .... i can't explain that, but it was. Afterwards the midwife said I'd been competely calm and silent the entire time.

Whenever I feel in need of relaxation I still go back to those sessions in my head and practise some of the techniques and I saw the same hypnotherapist a few years later when I was suffering from extreme anxiety and she sorted me right out. I had been completely housebound for nine months, and within two weeks of seeing her I was out and about and had my life back. It was incredible. The tools she has given me are invaluable. If anyone wants her details please PM me!

DD1 was a full induction and I did a lot of tv style pushing and yelling. Luckily for me I had a wonderful midwife and I was able to do exactly as she said wrt when to push and as a result managed to avoid any tearing despite the speed of the induced labour (3hrs) and DD being quite a big 9lb 2oz. Recovery took a little while though and DD had a lot of pressure marks.

Because DD1's birth was so medicalised and painful I threw myself at hypnobirthing when expecting DD2. We did a course and listened to both the Mongan Method and the Natal Hypnotherapy CDs. Practised the 'J shaped breath' and did lots of visualisation. DD2's birth was fantastic, I just did what felt right and breathed all 9lb 8oz of her out. Again no tearing but even better was the speed my body recovered (water birth may have also contributed), I didn't feel anywhere near as beaten up afterwards and I also think DD2 is a calmer baby as a result of a much calmer and less pressured birth.

Good luck with your birth

So in general people had to push with their first but not second. That was my experience too. I think in general second stage is much faster 2nd time round. I pushed when I shouldnt have with my second and she flew out in 1. Luckily I got away with 2nd degree. My first I pushed for 2 hours.

My point is that I dont think you can always just breathe them out it depends how easily they come. You can blame it on medicalisation, not sitting on birthing ball etc but the biggest thing is luck with birthing imo.

Wow - thanks for all the replies. Interesting to hear about the differences and reassuring to know there is no right or wrong. As my 1st delivery was classed as a failed induction I am feeling a lot of pressure to get it right somehow and reading these posts has helped me realise there's no such thing!

The failure was theirs not yours. Please dont feel pressured because there is a limit to what you can do. These things just happen, I think sometimes thats the danger of 'natural is best' because it gives the impression you have more control than you do.

I think things like hypnobirthing are good if they relax you and stop you feeling anxious. However, you have to accept that it wont necessarily lead to everything going as you want it to.

On the positive side a friend of mine recently had a vbac :-)

Really interesting thread. No experience whatsoever of childbirth yet, but I'm halfway through a hypnobirthing course and Nipperette is due in Feb. Whilst I'm realistic enough to realise that it may not all go exactly as planned, it makes total sense to me to try and keep everything relaxed and breathe the baby out. Pushing just seems to me to be a reflex which tenses all the muscles - surely not what's needed?

I could no more have not pushed than I could not vomit if the urge was upon me. My body did it all for me. It was entirely unconcious on my part each time.