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Pregnant after a miscarriage, as the bumps get bigger we get braver, 1st,2nd or 3rd trimester and even graduates cuddling there babies!!, reasurance and hand holding aplenty!

(638 Posts)

New thread before the other fills and locks!

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Sun 09-Dec-12 21:47:13

Wow, what a harsh way to deliver news.

The first time I knew when I walked in as I had started bleeding the day before and just knew, but still stared at the screen and saw and empty space.
Don't think I will look this time until they say good things. DH has agreed to do the same. I couldn't get the empty space on the screen out of my head for ages.

sundaesundae Sun 09-Dec-12 21:48:55

Sorry, I came out with that line, not the sonographer! I was the rubbish one about my own baby!!

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Sun 09-Dec-12 21:49:35

Thanks state. I feel totally different this time so hoping for good things, though now freaking out incase there's more than one. Ha ha

We shall wait and see, it's going to be a long 3 days.

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Sun 09-Dec-12 21:51:42

Thank goodness sundae, would have well been reporting them.

To be honest, I was kind of the same last time because I just knew, Dh was saying it will be fine, I just knew it wasn't.

sundaesundae Sun 09-Dec-12 21:56:26

OH was so embarrassed by me I don't know how he didn't walk out. The woman just kept handing me tissues and located baby and heartbeat in record time. I am a radiographer and I did an elective rotation in ultrasound, so have been there when giving that news, it is the worst thing ever. You are desperately hoping to find a HB or a hiding fetus, but you know and you know how devastating the news is going to be.

I think it is so much worse having the big screens on the wall, I think they should only turn them on once they have located things and done a quick measure. I was horrified to be staring at it praying for good news.

Now being treated to kidney kicks by my little lady reminding me she is all well and growing away in there.. makes the panic much less I must say!

I am sure you will be fine, you just have to get through an hour, a day, a week, a month at a time. I have calmed down a lot since 20 weeks, it isn't easy this preggo lark!!

AlphaBeta82 Mon 10-Dec-12 06:58:47

Marking my place!

AlphaBeta82 Mon 10-Dec-12 06:58:49

Marking my place!

gemdrop84 Mon 10-Dec-12 08:09:04

Hello to all you new ladies, as state said feel free to rant or talk through your worries, it's really helped us get through. Take one step at a time, whether that's a minute/hour/day- I was anxious with worry/panic, it's been very hard but it has really helped me coming on here, talking about it, hearing that I'm not in fact going crazy and most of what I'm feeling is normal given what we've been through. The ladies here are fab! grin Wish you all happy and healthy pg's thanks

AlphaBeta82 Mon 10-Dec-12 09:31:51

Hello all new ladies! I echo gemdrop after 3 MCs (all before 12 weeks) I am finally starting to enjoy my pregnancy at 16 weeks with little one kicking away!
It really is a step by step, moment by moment process! Everyone on here has been my sanity, I went through some really rough spots but finally feeling like it is coming together.
Wifey I picked up HB on angel sounds doppler from 11 weeks, BUT, it was very hit and miss for the first few weeks, so don't panic if you can't get it!
foof I understand completely about not wanting to tell DH, after my 1st MC I really thought twice about it over the following 3 pregnancies but in the end I told him each time. It is an anxious and worrying time and two shoulders are beter than one, and when I did miscarry it was wonderful to have his support, and when I didn't we both have celebrated together!

MrsReiver Mon 10-Dec-12 09:32:12

Hi to all the new ladies, this is a safe place to rant and express your worries. We've all been there so we know exactly how you are feeling. I remember when I was new and I was looking at State, WL and Wellies wondering how on earth I was going to manage to get that far along. However here I am, 29 weeks today with a very healthy wriggler booting my insides all day long as if to say "Mummy, I'm still here and I'm okay!"

I remember my 12 week scan, I'd vomitted the night before with nerves. Unfortunately the sonographer was one of the women I'd seen during my MC and I said to her "just tell me, is there something there and is it alive?" she located the heartbeat almost instantly and let me and DH watch it for ages while we howled. I was so happy afterwards that I hugged her. The feeling of relief and joy was incredible, I can still conjure it up when I think back to how low I was this time last year, and how happy I am now.

Countmyblessings Mon 10-Dec-12 11:49:33

Big Wave & Congrats to you wifey6 - I remember you from another thread its def hard after " loss" but you will get through it one day at a time!
I'm 26 weeks and reassured due to moving baby!
Sundae- not to long now!!! Roll on 3rd trimester!!!!

I guess receiving pain news at a scan is a long lasting memory very hard to shake off, forget and move from!!! I refused to look until I heard and there's your baby and heartbeat!!! DH had no feeling in his hand for a good 10 minutes!!!

Countmyblessings Mon 10-Dec-12 11:54:47

Welcome & Congrats to - little miss, Yellow and Gary!!
Was so excited to see Wifey on here I forgot!

wifey6 Mon 10-Dec-12 11:59:53

Aww count..thank you. That's made me come over very emotional blush
Yes I was on the Nov 12 thread but fell off it with a mighty crash in April. I'm now on here <thank goodness I found you all> & July 13 thread <another bunch of lovely ladies>
How lovely on you pregnancy..26 weeks..not too long to go. smile

FoofFighter Mon 10-Dec-12 12:54:01

Hello Wifey, thought I recognised your name, I was on that thread too, it wasn't a very lucky one for quite a lot of us was it sad fingers crossed we can make it this time smile

Thank you for the welcome, looking forward to getting to know you all smile I have told OH, he says he knew already ha! we had an incident last week where I was in a pub with him and kept saying I can smell Xmas! and wandering around trying to locate said Xmassy whiff - we both happen to need to use facilities at the same time which were upstairs and through two closed heavy doors- and there was the xmas pong, some festive scented loo roll!!! confused

I feel very different this time round, from the start last time it didn't feel quite right although nothing I could put my finger on, I did have sore boobs and bloating as symptoms, same as just now but I feel strangely positive and not particularly worried actually. The pg test I did yesterday morning was just an internet cheapy stick type, and brought a stronger result back than any of the tests I had done previously last time, again hoping a good sign. Oh and am getting increasingly interested in lovely juicy cold fruit like satsumas and pineapples.

I'm 5 weeks today give or take a day, the EPU said to call them when I got pregnant again and not go to MW for booking in till they had confirmed a pg, not sure when would be best time to call and get that ball rolling, especially at this time of year - thoughts anyone? When is best time to have an early scan to confirm things are where they should be and ticking away nicely?

I can't say I am really looking forward to being in that room again especially if it's the same bitch woman as before - I think I might just close my eyes and not look. Coping tips welcome too please.

bonzo77 Mon 10-Dec-12 13:06:58

Marking my spot. I think I'm being discharged later. DS2 has moved from NICU to SCBU. Still on hourly feeds etc and I'm heartbroken at being sent home without him.

AlphaBeta82 Mon 10-Dec-12 13:12:48

Great news Bonzo, though sory you're not able to come home with little man, I hope you are reunited soon!
Hi Foof, my EPU was brilliant with me, giving me scans at 7 wks, 9wks before my 12 week which made all the diference. Glad you told DH. smile

wifey6 Mon 10-Dec-12 13:23:42

Foof...yes I remember you from that thread. Sorry again for your loss. Lovely to see you here expecting again. Plenty of hand-holding,prayers & positive thinking for everyone here.

bonzo I hope he's home with you really soon.
<Indulgent whinge alert>
I'm so over being useless now, when I was pregnant with the older two I never got to the stage where I just couldn't do stuff. This time I'm useless I can't bend, getting off the sofa/bed etc is a huge effort and the mere thought of getting dressed makes me want to weep. So today I haven't I got up sorted the dcs and dp took them off to school and I spent the morning snoozing on the sofa, I'm staying in my pjs I've decided. Its frustrating me a lot feeling like this as I have so much to do. But I figure one day off isn't the end of the world as tomorrow I've got a lot to do, finishing christmas shopping!

9 days to go...

WLmum Mon 10-Dec-12 13:33:33

Hey bonzo great news that little man has been 'downgraded' but I can't imagine how sad you must be at going home without him. Any idea how long it might be before he joins you?

foof that sounds good that your epu asked you to get in touch - I would do it sooner rather than later and ask their advice but I think they generally say not before 6/7 weeks so they can be sure of seeing a hb. This time I had a scan at 9 weeks and dr google told me that a healthy hb at 9 weeks gives a 99./. Chance of a successful pg. Depends whether you can bear to wait that long. With my previous mmc I had a scan at 6ish weeks which showed a hb and was falsely reassured and then devastated at the 12 week scan. Those early weeks are so hard [squeezes hand].

WLmum Mon 10-Dec-12 13:46:27

state you and me both! I feel exactly the same. Was pretty fit and active right up til the end with dds but this time as you say, just feel totally immobile and everything is so much effort. I'm having a bit of a feet up on the sofa day today as DH has a day off work (having worked all weekend) and have warned him that I am going to be selfish about taking every chance I can this week to rest. I just feel totally exhausted - not helped by dd1s cough still waking her and I up in the night. I've even been looking forward to my c sec, not just for getting my baby of course, but for the laying down!

8 days left for me. Pre op assessment on Friday so will found out of I'm am or pm.

I've had all that done already 7am I've got to be in hospital, I've got the tablet to take the night before --that I'm paranoid about forgetting/loosing-- and I need to have bloods done by friday.

Ds was just 16mo when dd was born, he was barely walking and I carried him all over the place all through my pregnancy, I've no idea how I did it!

I'm trying to write a list of final things for hospital bag/christmas etc. So far I've wrote nothing but I know there is lots to sort!

GaryBuseysTeeth Mon 10-Dec-12 15:49:32

Booked my early scan for next week, now terrified of having to cancel it as I'm having 'orrible period-esque cramps <slaps self>

Foof, if you're sure of the dates, if I were you I'd try get a scan end of this week/next week as a hb should be visible then....no sure how much worse the 'rush' of women getting pg over Christmas will affect services/how long it takes to be given appointment dates?
Hope you don't have the same bitch again & glad you've told OH.

State, alpha, gem...thanks, it's reassuring to know I should be able to relax soon. It's much more reassuring coming from women who know what you're going through.

Good luck with sorting the hospital bag State, I underpacked last time & then found out the hospital shop didn't sell nappies, DS lived in a towel for a few hours.

FoofFighter Mon 10-Dec-12 16:29:51

Bonzo, I don't know your story but that sounds very positive that your little one is now, what did someone call it, "downgraded" smile I hope that the hospital isn't too far from you so you can be there a lot of the time with the baby, and of course that it won't be long before they are home thanks

I'll dig out the details for the epu and give them a call tomorrow to see what they say, in my experience they are pretty useless :/ if there was somewhere else I could go I would, the joys of living in semi-rural Scotland sad

WLmum Mon 10-Dec-12 17:18:08

I know I've still got loads that could/should be sorted but to be honest at this stage I just don't care!

I just need to relax, I'm driving myself up the wall. I kept putting off ordering the carseat adapters for the pram and now the shop I was buying them from is out of stock, and I'm anxious about ordering online from bugaboo, no idea why.

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