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Expecting number two?

(42 Posts)
ruthietoothie Fri 07-Dec-12 21:13:28

Hi, I found out just this week that am 4/5 weeks pregnant with no 2 (dc1 is just one). I'm feeling a combination of excited and terrified about idea of two children under two. Also have mixed feelings about having to go off work again soon (I'm in latter stages of a phd)

Just wondered if there are others out there expectant with no two who want to share experiences / thoughts!

Everyone I know with more than one child seems to have waited about two years before their second, and so a bit scared of the whole two-under-two thing too!!

Neiffer Fri 07-Dec-12 21:49:52

Hey, congrats! Totally know what you mean about there seeming to be an 'accepted' age gap between kids. I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant with dc2 and dc1 is 10.5 months old. This pregnancy is planned but I've been feeling a bit wobbly about it since I found out to be honest. I want a close gap but worry that my first child will suffer for it. And also I won't be able to give enough attention to either. However, I feel more positive by the day and assuming this one sticks can't wait to meet him/her smile

ruthietoothie Fri 07-Dec-12 22:11:03

Congrats to you too! Good to know there are others out there feeling the same!

I'm excited about possibility of short gap but also scared about how I'll physically manage with two. It's been hard enough at times with just one!

Are you telling people or waiting till 12 week scan?

With dc1 I waited, but feels different this time.... And don't see how can get through Xmas etc not drinking

Neiffer Fri 07-Dec-12 22:19:01

That's my concern, how will I cope with a cluster feeding newborn and a toddler??!! I also keep having hormonal driven panics that I'm ruining my sons life :/
I keep wanting to tell people but then I just don't...told everyone at 8 weeks last time after an early scan. I'm a bit reluctant to until I've seen that there's something in there! But yeah I'm not sure how ill explain the drinking thing...I reckon ill probably tell family nearer the time and everyone else after scan. I have told my boss, only because I've been a bit sick and needed to warn her.

ruthietoothie Fri 07-Dec-12 22:33:00

I know, feeding constantly and trying to keep a toddler entertained might be quite a challenge. And then there's bath times, nappy changing x 2, meal times - the list goes on!

But I'm sure maybe it's better not to worry and like you said focus on all the positives. Am sure your son will love having a play mate and in no time it.ll be like his brother / sister was always there. (you're certainly not ruining his life :-)

I think might tell family when go home for Xmas as can't see way around it. Plus my mum had three in quick succession and so might be able to reassure me, but in a way would rather wait till 12 weeks....

HenriettaTurkey Fri 07-Dec-12 22:36:06

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I speak as dc2 with a dsis 13.5 months older!

No-one need know about drink: just say it's because your bf-ing. smile

ruthietoothie Fri 07-Dec-12 22:43:42

Thanks henrietta turkey! I still haven't sussedv out what dc1 / ds1 etc means so not sure if you actually have two already or are pregnant with second.

Either way hope its going well for you.

Great idea on b-feeding, if only people didn't know that I've been feeding and having ocassional drink the whole time

Snowflakepie Fri 07-Dec-12 22:48:20

Congratulations to you all. I am 12 weeks with #2, just had first scan which was good. We told family at about 6 weeks due to the drinking thing, they would have sussed otherwise. DD will be 3 in Jan, and among my friends I am probably the last to have a second! There's no right or wrong, personally I couldn't consider it earlier as DD has various medical issues that are only just starting to get resolved. So I needed her to be older and at preschool to give me a break and chance to be with the new LO. But others have said its fine with them close together, it's not quite like starting from scratch again. You find a way no matter what I think!
Hope your scans go well and you feel good over Christmas x

HenriettaTurkey Sat 08-Dec-12 10:38:54

All the abbreviations are confusing! What I meant was I am the second child with a sister 13.5m older than me.

Good luck with the pregnancy! grin

nannyl Sat 08-Dec-12 12:45:55

Im 12 weeks pg

DD is 14 and a bit months....

i will have 2 under 21 months, come June. All a bit scarey, and im not looking forward to the lack of sleep again, expecially with a busy toddler to entertain, but hey ho, i will get through it because i'll have to, and hopefully my 2 children will soon become great play mates and friends.

Lots and lots of people manage 2 under 2, i think they all say its hard at the beginning,( but i figure a new baby is hard whatever the age,) and everyone i have ever met as coped and managed, so hopefully i will too!

Numbthumbs Sat 08-Dec-12 19:55:54

Congrats!
Im 34 weeks with my second, DD is 17 months so had a lovely pregnancy suprise when she was nearly 10 months.
I love that she naps for 2 hours in the afternoon so i do too grin. Im the first of my friends to have a second and i am soooooo excited, i think its a lovely age gap and cant wait for DD to meet the new baby.

Neiffer Sat 08-Dec-12 20:38:15

The afternoon naps definitely rock, my ds has a 2 hour one after lunch and on my days off so do I smile
I'm feeling excited today after looking at the baby things in the loft. Really wish I could have a scan just to know there's something in there!!

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 22:12:37

Cautiously posting here...dd is 1 and did 2 FRER tests and both had faint second lines, due period tomorrow so v.v.cautious.

But hopefully sooo going well can I join?

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 22:13:40

Should read all going well.

ruthietoothie Sun 09-Dec-12 08:33:38

Congrats to all the others expecting number two! It's great to be able to share fears / excitement about next year's arrivals (fingers crossed).

The afternoon nap is a great point - ill certainly be trying that out later on in pregnancy. Still b-feeding so not sure how I'm going to cope with feeding as my bump gets bigger....

LittleMilla Sun 09-Dec-12 08:43:19

I am 8 weeks expecting DC2. My DS is 19 mo.

Such mixed emotions on this pg: had been trying and then stopped when I started interviewing (and then got) a new job. That's obvs when I fell pg!! So I have a new job that I'm getting my head around, working 4 days a week and starting to get morning sickness - something I didn't have before!

I'm sure I will start feeling excited soon, but at the mo it's just inconvenient. Which is a terrible thing to say, but it's how I feel confused.

Not even seeing a midwife until I'm almost 12 weeks so no idea when I'll get a scan. Might pay for an early one as I'm already showing and need to tell work soon I think...

ruthietoothie Sun 09-Dec-12 12:05:08

LittleMilla - Hello.

I can totally understand the mixed emotions thing, especially when you've got the complication of just having started a new job. I can completely empathise. It's one of the (many) reasons why having a child is so very different for the woman as compared to the man. Our careers have to go on hold, and then we have to cope with the transition off work, and then back again post-mat leave.

I hope that you start feeling better, and maybe getting excited about the pregnancy too... Can't be easy when busy and not feeling well, but hopefully that'll pass soon.

I'm mid-way through a PhD and plan had been to finish it before thinking of another child. Now, it looks like I'll have to go off on mat leave just as I'm about to start writing up my findings. I can't help feeling frustrated about that, and worrying that my career will really suffer because of the choices I made.

But then I think about what is really important to me and - on balance - although career is important, I think having a big, happy, healthy family matters more. Not always easy though I know.

Good luck with scan, and deciding on whether to tell work. Do you really want to tell them soon then?

Woodifer Sun 09-Dec-12 16:07:27

Ooh me too. DD just gone 1.
4/5 weeks pregnant with no. 2. I'm also feeling guilty towards DD, and ridiculously hormonal!

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sun 09-Dec-12 18:40:46

Two more bfps this morning so think I'm 4/5 weeks pg.

Feel a bit like I've betrayed dd as shes only 1 and feel like I should be spending quality time with her while shes little. Another part of me feels a little excited about dd having a sibling and vice versa.

Longfufu Sun 09-Dec-12 18:50:01

Ive just found out I'm expecting No. 2, so 4 weeks. DS is 22 months.

ruthietoothie Sun 09-Dec-12 19:25:36

Woodifer - congrats! we are at almost exactly same point then. Don't even talk to me about hormonal ;-) I'm constantly either pi**ed off or teary at moment.

Neiffer Sun 09-Dec-12 19:37:34

Funny isn't it, the guilt. I think I'd have it even if ds was 5. I do worry I'm taking my time from him. Hey ho. Im driving myself nuts trying to figure out if I've had a missed miscarriage sad god knows why, I didn't worry at all last time! I think I just want to know if there's something in there or not. Even busted out the doppler despite being more than aware that I'd find anything. I didn't. Argh.

helebear Sun 09-Dec-12 19:50:21

Congrats to all you fellow 2nd timers! I'm 23 weeks with no.2 & dd is 21 months so there'll be almost exactly a 2 year gap. I have a bro who is 18 months younger than me & we've always been very close & I can't remember him not being in my life so I always wanted quite a close gap. Was excited & terrified when I first found out! I've been slowly getting my head around it more as the pregnancy progresses but I still can't imagine how the logistics of things like getting 2 year old dd bathed & in bed with a newborn in tow!

ruthietoothie Sun 09-Dec-12 20:04:32

Woodifer - congrats! we are at almost exactly same point then. Don't even talk to me about hormonal ;-) I'm constantly either pi**ed off or teary at moment.

Mylittlepuds Sun 09-Dec-12 20:12:59

DS 19 months, 20 weeks with DC2. A surprise! Absolutely terrified at first as have suffered with severe anxiety since birth of DS but we're still thrilled and excited. Can certainly understand mixed feelings but they lessen as the pregnancy progresses. They have for me anyway.

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