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Anyone had to give up work around 27 weeks because of pain/exhaustion levels?

(41 Posts)
HastaLanugo Sun 18-Nov-12 20:37:17

I'm exhausted, and frequently breathless. I generally ache all over, mainly due to a pre-existing condition and I have SPD/PGP. My anxiety levels are high and I feel on the verge of depression. I'm seriously considering asking to be signed off until maternity leave. Is this likely to happen? Has anyone else stopped work this early because they feel they simply cannot go on? I'm not even sure how to go about doing it.

Clarella Thu 06-Dec-12 15:18:35

Exactly! Focus on you and your growing family now Xx

OodKingWenceslas Thu 06-Dec-12 13:43:35

Missing OFSTEd bet everyone was envy

Yes I'm perfect wink it will be ok, just ridiculously frustrating being there & not doing it properly because I couldn't. I'm too weepy to be let loose on peoples problems according to dh!

Clarella Thu 06-Dec-12 12:47:33

Ood it really is ok chick. I know it's hard not to feel failure - I suspect you're very like me in personality, conscientious and perfectionist?!

I was only at work for 4 weeks due to school hols, and missed ofsted (the guilt!! No seriously felt sooo bad! They got outstanding though smile )

You've tried your best now try to focus on getting well for baby. Lie to other people about work if it helps I now wish I had (fucking conscientious streak)

OodKingWenceslas Thu 06-Dec-12 10:35:39

I've been signed off now. 25+3. sad

HastaLanugo Sat 24-Nov-12 20:54:48

Really feel for everyone else. Clarella I know exactly what you mean about the anxiety. My PND and AND is def more anxiety based. And trying to separate it from normal "hormones" is difficult. I think it's even more difficult for those around us, who think we are just being typical mood-swinging pregnant women rather than women with even the slightest MH issues. Hope that baby doesn't make you wait. hope you'll keep us updated.

Ood I guess you have to balance the need to be around people against the stress those people will cause. I'm keeping a very low profile at work, despite being one of the more senior people, because I know if I am seen to be doing business as usual, more work will be sent my way, and I already have more than enough to see me through to the end.

Nannyl I'm glad that's all behind you now. Hope your baby was worth it smile

Clarella Sat 24-Nov-12 20:46:58

ood it is important imo to feel in control definately. And lack of social contact was bad for me too but then necessary - a double edged sword.

I had no control over the slapped cheek time limit - i was over the first lot of anxiety at 18 weeks and desperate to work but then school didnt want to know as thyroid issues were on the sicknote too. I worked on stuff anyway! Thats why i pushed to go back for a last week before summer hols started but thats when it was clear i was well at home but not yet at work. Massive step back and was even worse than first time. But i had to try. X

Clarella Sat 24-Nov-12 20:39:31

Yup. 9 weeks here. Due to school hols only worked a grand total of 4 weeks from bfp. Im extremely grateful for everything the gp and perinatal counsellor has done as i feel very well indeed now. And even had the winter vom bug today whilst carpets being fitted and at one point was convinced was labour! Water off a ducks back! 40 weeks on monday! (Wow nanny you poor thing)

I never felt fully depressed - it was extreme anxiety which really began to make me feel quite loopy, plus i was on too much thyroid meds so the adrenaline was extra pumping. However i did hide away at 2 separate stages unable to see people due to the anxiety it triggered and so was described as having anxiety with low mood. However i sometimes find it easier to tell people if i have to that its AND simply as it explains how i was behaving.

Its been layer upon layer of steps forward and back - learning to separate normal preg hirmonal worries, from catastrophising anxiety has been the big thing over the last few weeks. And i know ive cracked that now. But i needed head space. And had weeks where i thought i was fine only for something to show me i wasnt and id regress. The guilt and shame is the worst thing and takes time to get rid of.

A litmus test was baths and swimming, which alwsys relaxes me. thoughts and feelings got worse chuntering round my head, id end up hyperventilating after the bath and crying as i swam. Now use them to help me sleep like most people and loved my 'final' swim yesterday!

Best wishes to you all xx

Oodthunkit Sat 24-Nov-12 20:36:41

nannyl think Id rather have SPD than that. It sounds horrendous!

Oodthunkit Sat 24-Nov-12 20:36:02

I had PND with all the others. I don't cope we'll without people around so it that respect work is better for me although my job is a high stress one.
I have a lot of other stuff going on which contributed to the anxiety.
I've wrapped up a lot of cases and I'm hoping to get other stuff finished/ready for hand over this week do it doesn't matter if I don't come back from leave.

nannyl Sat 24-Nov-12 19:55:05

i was signed off sick at 7 weeks and never went back at all
(I had HG for the whole 9 months)

HastaLanugo Sat 24-Nov-12 19:50:15

Honestly, just embrace it. You don't need to be made any more miserable. Think of the positives of being signed off. I was scored for AND today and scored high. Was suggested i should be referred to AN psychologist but I have said we don't need to take action, that I'm sure I'll be better when I'm off work and a few other things are sorted. So they are going to do the scoring again in two weeks and move from there. I really hope it's just anxiety over specific issues rather than AND. I hope that meeting goes ok for you. If it helps, they used the Edinburgh PND scoring system for me. Looks like we both have a big week ahead.

Oodthunkit Sat 24-Nov-12 19:20:55

Saw GP on Thurs and she wanted to sign me off. I want to work this week then I'm on leave for a week. Got told to come back when im off and to think about being signed off then. Also seeing hospital that week and still waiting to speak to MH MW re AND.
If I don't go back after leave i be 25 weeks when I go off <eek>

HastaLanugo Sat 24-Nov-12 18:20:22

Sorry I meant Ood blush (not that I don't care how you are doing Clarella)

HastaLanugo Sat 24-Nov-12 18:19:28

How are you doing Clar?

Clarella Sat 24-Nov-12 16:49:25

Great to hear it smile x

Oodthunkit Thu 22-Nov-12 14:10:17

Excellent hasta smile

HastaLanugo Thu 22-Nov-12 14:08:39

all sorted here grin

Clarella Tue 20-Nov-12 23:00:10

So sorry to hear everyone's struggles. For some reason it's easier to accept being signed off work for a broken leg than spd or broken nerves - but because it's pregnancy / mental health and we are all expected to get on with it (pregnancy isn't an illness / stiff upper lip / pull your socks up). No one would dream of running on a broken leg! (Though believe me it took many months for me to realise this! )

Doraemon Tue 20-Nov-12 20:26:22

I am 24 weeks and have 3 1/2 weeks work left (I'm a childminder) and cannot wait to finish, I'm so knackered by the end of the day, my pelvis is starting to go wonky and lifting an 18 month old in and out of buggy/high chair/car seat etc is really not helping.
This is my 3rd pregnancy - in my first I was signed off for a week with stress (actually antenatal depression, partly I think related to a lot of pressure at work, I was an academic) at 20 something weeks, then effectively finished worked at the end of term when I must have been about 29 weeks, officially started maternity leave at 32 weeks and was rather surprised to find myself giving birth the day after.... second pregnancy I was admitted to hospital with contractions at 29 weeks and managed to hang on until DS2 was born at 34 weeks.
So I planned to stop early this time largely because I have no idea when this baby is actually going to arrive, and then ended up cutting back to one mindee. I am so glad I have not planned to go on any longer, I don't think I could do it physically, and the mental/emotional worry of thinking 'oh gosh am I going into labour' every time things get too uncomfortable is getting to me as well. Had a good cry over a lovely midwife a few weeks ago when she pointed out my anxiety about the likelihood of this baby coming too early is exhausting in itself, never mind the actual pregnancy.

I do sometimes feel a bit useless for not being able to keep going longer, but at the end of the day it's only a couple of months out my life, and I know that the longer I can keep this baby in the better for all of us, and the best way to do that is to minimise physical and mental strain for the time being. If you feel you can't go on then seriously, I would say don't. I totally agree with Clarella about getting some help.

Oodthunkit Tue 20-Nov-12 18:49:15

Baby is fine which is probably why I find it hard. Sounds like you have a good plan fingers crossed your boss agrees!

HastaLanugo Tue 20-Nov-12 18:27:27

I know, it's so hard not to consider colleagues. That's why I did it this way, I want to be there for a few weeks, even if only as a point on contact here and there. BUT you and baby have to come first.

Oodthunkit Tue 20-Nov-12 18:25:20

I'm just trying to finish off. Feel crap cis they already have 2 f/t off sick but colleagues are sympathetic

HastaLanugo Tue 20-Nov-12 18:19:33

Sounds like it really is time for you to go sick ood. I've brought ML forward and spread out some annual leave, so I'm doing average 1.5 days a week in December. It really will just be handover work/induction for my cover, so nothing strenuous. Good luck at the doc.

Oodthunkit Tue 20-Nov-12 17:29:39

I'm on a .5 contract, can't limit my hours much more ( keep trying to get shorter days but it's not working due to being needed 4-5-6. Which is when I'm flagging.

Seeing GP for advice tomorrow but I'm going to struggle to go much further. Was knackered at lunch today &its my day off &dd3 was out with my mum

HastaLanugo Tue 20-Nov-12 13:32:27

Just submitted a proposal that will bring forward my ML a little bit, but will also see me work drastically reduced hours until then. Here's hoping it's accepted. If refused, I will have to investigate full sick leave sad

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