Expat far away from home, no support network and missing the sanity of the UK

[guernseygirl]

Is anyone else out there is a similar boat?

I moved overseas last year with my husband and haven't really settled in. Friends and family are all in the UK or further afield and I miss the comfort and rights of living in the UK...statutory maternity leave, right to return to my job, less overt sexism in the workplace etc.

Feeling a bit lonely and miserable as this is my first pregnancy and the familiarity of home would be nice. No chance of a move back until next year at least though.

Just wondering if there are any other expats out there, also missing home comforts a bit??

didn't want to let your post unanswerred. Can you start a pregnancy group with other expat? Just set up a yahoo group and get some people addresses and start organising a coffee morning or evening out.
You could post in the overseas section www.mumsnet.com/Talk/living_overseas on MN where you will probably have more answers.
Good luck

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time - my sister's in a similar boat in New York, and feeling apprehensive about life after the baby's born without close friends nearby. She's started going to ante-natal classes and has arranged to meet someone for lunch soon - is that a possibility for you?

Mamaloco - thanks for the tip, shall have a rifle through that section.

Ttalloo - New york sounds like a very glamorous place to live, lucky sister. I've completed my ante-natal classes here, but although the local ladies are very friendly, they tend to only mix within their own circles having known eachother from childhood on such a small island.

I'm just a bit whingy today I think, hitting a 34 week stalling block and tired from the usual long week at work. I live in a lovely place, just a bit homesick!

Thanks both for your replies.

Hi, I know how you feel, I moved last year too and have not settled terribly well, don't really know anyone at all and worried aboutbeing even more lonely when on mat leave without support. I'm putting a brave face on, but the thought of giving birth and not understanding the language is really scary. All the medical appointment letters arrive and I am unable to read them, same goes with the leaflets.

Even registering baby is a nightmare, I wish things were easier.

I'm looking into English antenatle so hope I meet people there. Could you do this?

Sorry, not much helpful advice at all, but you are not alone x

HI - WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE YOU? X

I'm moving abroad next year in March after DC1 is born this December. Am quite scared about having no friends and making a new support network with a 12 week old baby as a first time mum and not having a job for the first time ever (DH will be the sole earner, I won't be allowed to work due to immigration rules).

Sending positive thoughts your way.

Hey, you are not alone. I spent the first four months of my pregnancy on easter island, where the culture and medical care is so completely different from england. The last two months I have been in santiago de chile, as my partner had a motorbike accident and had to have his leg amputated so we came here for better medical attention.

I have felt so alone here, and feel like I don't think properly about the baby. I speak ok spanish, but talking to doctors and trying to understand procedures just isn't as reassuring as it would be in english.

In the end I have decided that I have to be back with my family in england, where I feel comfortable and safe, so will be flying back next month at 7.5 months pregnant.

It's overwhelming to be so far from home and in a strange and unfamiliar place. Good luck to you, and if you don't run home like I am, then you're very brave indeed!

Hi, this is just what I have been looking for..I am also far away from the UK - 7 months pregnant and feeling very alone. I miss not working - but noone seems to want to hire a pregnant women - my husband works 12 hour days and he is tired when he comes in. I used to talk to friends and family on skype alot but they dont seem to interested anymore...I worry I am getting into such a negative state that I will find it really hard to make friends. I have try to join every charity going - but it seems in China everyone has already fill up the spaces.
A few wives here have children and they are quite happy - doing lunches and drinking, but this does not appeal to me - I feel guilty not working - especially when my husband comes in and says how busy and stressed he is. I am feeling trapped here - although I am happy to be having the baby - I never thought it would be so lonely :-(

Feel like a complete fraud now! I'm only over in the channel islands Oggybags, but have been living much further afield in the few years before this one.

There's an excellent health system here, so I am very lucky, but I think it's just a marginally different culture...nothing like Easter Island or China and no language barrier though.

Islandbaby, you sound like you've had a very stressful pregnancy. I hope things are much improved when you get home and get some much needed family tlc.

Robo29, my folks moved across to China a few years ago and we visit them quite often. It's a crazy place. Very odd being a hard working professional one minute, then being treated as an unreliable, second class worker the next just because you're pregnant. Would you be able to work in a few months or are there visa limitations?

Attitudes here are a lot closer to the UK, but everyone has assumed I won't be returning to work and they've spooned someone else into my job already. Hugely insulting given I'm ambitious and career focussed, but can only prove them wrong eh!