DS will only poo in pull-up/nappy - any ideas how to get him to go on the loo/potty?

[notfromstepford]

My DS is 3.5. We started potty training at 3 (when we had some time off work) and he's 99% reliable with his wees. Poos however are a different story.
He's done maybe 3 or 4 poos on the potty/toilet in all that time and has been really pleased with himself when he has done it. Other than that, he point blank refuses. He'll ask for a pull-up or if it's 1st thing in the morning he'll do it in his nappy. He's very regular (morning and after tea) and has never suffered from constipation or anything like that.

When he needs a poo, he tells me and asks for a pull-up. I say to him "Do you want to go on the potty instead, like you do with your wees- that'd be great" to which he'll reply "I don't need a poo now". But he does still need a poo and because I don't want him to get constipated or make a massive issue of it, I'll get him a pull-up on. I always say "Ok I'll get you a pull up now and next time we can have a go on the potty" and he always enthusiastically agrees. Then we go through the same thing again.

He doesn't poo his pants (there have been a couple of occasions, but nothing for months).

Am I doing the right thing? Any ideas on how to move this on? I've tried bribery - but he doesn't seem to care - he's adamant he's pooing in a pull-up and that's it.

Will he grow out of it in his own time? Any advice would be great!

This is really common, Very normal phase that is considered normal right up to school age. So don't worry.

for now you just have to get him to go into the toilet when he poos his nappy, getting him into the room is a good first step.
Then you slowly build up after a few months by getting him to sit on the potty in a nappy.
Then put the nappy on the potty and get him to poo on it, Then cut a hole in the nappy so the poo goes through, then once that is okay you take the nappy away. Very small steps over a year or two.

Thanks Piratejones!

Phew that is very reassuring, especially when I get looks from family and the "isn't he going on the potty yet - but he's 3 and a HALF??" comments.

Great idea - I'll give that a go.
And will tell the family to bugger off!

Thank you for posting OP - we trained DS at Easter and he's fairly reliably dry but the poos just aren't happening. Every night like clockwork though, you put on his nappy and the poo happens.

I am going to try bringing the potty back out and asking him to sit down when he's pooing. He's quite private about it though and I don't want to force the issue.

3 of the children i childmind use pullups to poo, but are otherwise potty trained one is 4 the other two are 5. It's no problem.

Good luck.

After he's finished but before you change him, You could also get him to get some paper off, "wipe" (Over the nappy), flush the paper and wash his hands. This will teach him the sequence so he gets used to that after he's pooed.

Thank god - I'm pleased this seems to be a common thing.
I was starting to feel like I was failing him.

I'll try all the suggestions - we'll get there in the end. Long process is fine with me knowing that others have the same issues.

My DD was the same. I didn't push it, & eventually she got there. We did read a lot of Mr Poo goes to Pooland (Google it) though which she still references a year later!

My ds used to do that, he used the potty/toilet for wees but would put the nappy on to poo then would take it straight off after. We eventually got him to do it on the potty after much cajoling. He did that for years until he was about 6. After questioning he finally told me he didn't like the plop sound on the toilet so we told him to put a few sheets down the toilet so it wouldn't plop. He's 13 now and still puts loo roll down first. I wish I'd known from the start that is was something so simple.

This is normal for boys

My DS is the same; wees 100% in the toilet and we'd just got him using the loo for poos and then he had a week of diarrhoea and now will only use his pull ups.
Poo goes to Pooland seems to have had the opposite effect here, he states he doesn't want him to go to Pooland, but "stay in the hole"
We've tried bribery of every sort, but the two attempts to get him to use the loo have resulted in constipation and pain
Very frustrating.

How's he doing OP, are you making progress?

My DS is 3 and just the same. Wees are sorted, he is dry but poos are never in potty.
Nursery are advising just use pants and deal with the accidents, GP says forget potty training for a bit, it's too much pressure.
Me- I'm totally confused, a bit stressed and drinking wine :(