How I was treated by Tesco for putting my son on the potty!(280 Posts)
My son turned 2 in May and we are mid potty training. Been in to places like Boots and M&S and got fold away potty out in store for my son to have a wee. I've also used it in Tesco with no complaints from them. This morning I went in and my son was crying 'wee wee'. Got him out of the buggy and put him on the potty - I wasn't in the middle of an aisle and went t clothes section where we'd be more hidden away as that section was close by to us. My son did a wee but come to get him back in the buggy and he had the most hideous tantrum. Once I got himm back in the buggy, I stood up to find 2 members of managerial staff stood over me. They told me that there was a toilet in the store where I should have taken my son to. I explained that he's just started potty training and when he needs a wee it has to be then and there and I don't have time to get him to a toilet. They told me they undestood that but that there was a toilet I should really have used. So again I explained that I don't have time to get him to the toilet. The woman then said 'it's not nice for our customers to see, it's not nice for your son and now you've just caused a big scene in the store'. I said 'well now you've made me feel absolutely rubbish' and they both walked off. I walked out of the store but thought 'no I'm not having that' and I went back and gave it to them both barrels that I was disgusted with the way I'd been treated, I'd been talked to very rudely and spoken to like I was a child myself. The senior manager came down and was very apologetic and I asked her of Tescos policy was that if there's a mother with a tantrumming child, do you train your staff to go over and tell the mother she's created a big scene in the store. She was very apologetic about the way I'd been treated. I'm still fuming. I've used the portable potty in other shops without complaints and I've seen other mums do the same in shops too - that's the whole purpose of the portable potty being invented. I just wanted people to know how badly Tesco have acted in this instance towards a mother potty training her 2 year old. Can anyone else recommend best places to post to make sure Tesco know I'm letting people know about this? Thanks.
Are you people crazy! i dont see any problem with that, when a toddler has togo their is no holding it, and frankly thats unhealthy. i have a 2yr 9month we carry the portable potty everywhere, if a toilet is not available then i will find a suitable place to the side and crouch round her. i haven't personally used it in a shop YET, but some of those tesco stores are huge and a distance to the toilet. i know lets let a toddler make a puddle on the floor because thats sooooo much more hygenic!
Ignore all the bloody 'I stayed at home until my chidren went to uni' martyrs. You did the best you could. I'd rather see a little one using a potty than weeing on the floor. All children are different and learn at different rates and all children have times when they've just got to go. Likewise not all mums can 'run' to the nearest loos. I hope you haven't felt down by some of these comments. I hope the training is going well. You've nothing to reproach yourself for.
just saw this post and good for you at getting your cherub to actually ask to go wee. who cares where it is . my dd asked in the middle of clarks shoe shop as older ds was being fitted for school shoes! i whipped out the full size potty (she hates the portable one ) and when other mums were glaring i calmly wiped her bottom, wrapped the whole lot in kitchen roll and poly bag, gave her a huge hug and went back to the shoe fitting. the assistant didn't bat an eyelid thanks to her. tesco, asda, whatever- needs must and it can be done hygenically as long as you are prepared. just ignore those with faces that look like a dog's bottom.
Glad to see this thread ended well. I think it was reasonable to be upset that they told you off for your ds having a tantrum though - tantrums are a separate issue.
Read the last couple of pages, Ophelia. Bubbles has had a thorough flaming and accepted it with immense grace and good humour. She accepted that SWBU so don't have a go at her.
Sorry but I think this is unreasonable. The world does not revolve around you child. If he cannot wait until you take him to the toilet and set the potty up there, then perhaps he is not ready for potty training. And it is unhygenic to just set up a potty at random in the middle of a shop. Yuk.
God people, why are you so harsh and judgemental?
If the OP judged her son not to be able to hold in until reaching the loo, what was she to do?
I certainly don't think this should be standard practice, but I also don't think the woman deserves to have her head bitten off, and I do think Tesco staff were insensitive about the situation, telling her that "she had caused a scene" by placing her little one on a foldaway potty. She did move somewhere more discreet AWAY from the food isles.
I had a foldaways potty too, with disposable bags, and took my son to the toilet regularly when out. However, once we got caught out in GAP, where there are absolutely no toilets, and I did exactly the same thing; we found a secluded corner for DS to do a week. I then sealed the bag, quickly folded the potty and carried on. Wouldn't it have been more of a scene if the wet himself in the middle of the store?
I am amazed how ready women are to crucify one another...
Just my 2 cents...
Ooh a poster taking a flaming with grace. I think mumsnet wings are well and truly earned
I'm totally with Tesco on this.
Thats just plain disgusting! seriously??? A supermarket? I would have complained to staff if i saw your dc pissing in tesco. Good grief they sell food for gods sake.
It's just a bit of Pish. My standards are obviously quite low . But I really don't see what was so awful about a very small child having a wee in the supermarket. Now a big steaming dump.....
Well done for taking your shoeing like a true MN. And I hope you start to feel better soon.
Well done Bubbles, it was brave to come back! FWIW I would probably have considered getting the portapotty out; but am a little stressed by 6 weeks of potty training...I would have found it difficult to run to the toilets with toddler and one year old. DH just read this thread over my shoulder, and instantly said he'd put our DD on a potty in Tesco.
Having read all the replies, however, I'm surprised at the level of outrage; but will certainly take on board some of those points for myself. More 'toilet' training, less 'potty' training. Although I think we're going back to nappies for DD for a month or so now.
Welcome to Mumsnet. Good luck with the PND, I hope you have real life support.
Hope you feel better soon Bubbles, and you get some support from others on here re the PND.
If we're sharing cringey moments, then I still squirm in embarrassment at the memory of me changing my pfb's
shitty, rotten, stinking nappy on the floor of my friend's dining room where about fifteen people were eating a buffet lunch.
Seven years on, and two further children later, I still don't know what I was thinking and I never did anything like that again.
Very sorry to hear about the Pnd too - hope you feel better soon.
Good on you op
I think we've all had our parenting horror moments of being really pfb. I let my Dc go through a friend's chest of drawers recently he's only just learned to do it and I hadn't thought that he was invading her privacy
Pnd is horrible!!
I had it for a while but never admitted it until last year.
A.ds helped me cope (took them for a month) and then I just realised I have to snap out of it and be the mum I was meant to be.
It takes a while to realise that.
I do hope you have a loving family who can support you along the way
They could have handled it better, but I still do not think that the clothing aisle in any supermarket is a suitable place to put a child on the potty. I think it is pretty nasty, actually.
Plus, as has already been said, it is better toilet training for the child to learn to wait for the few moments it takes to get to the toilet.
Tesco's should not have been so rude to you.
Sorry bubble I was just going to apolagise to you when my ipod went dead. I should have indeed read all the replies and usually ( well mostly).do but for some reason didn't today. Bubbles I apolagise again and of couse YANBVU now but I am for my last post. Glad you are feling better and you are a great Mum.
bubble you are v cool. I can't take criticism at all - get stroppy and horrible. Note to self - be better at stepping down when wrong!
Hope you get some help on the PND - and welcome!
Another one who just reads the first post. YABVU Mumeeee.
Guess you haven't read the whole thread mumeeee, or at least the last page.
YABVU Tesco was right. Putting a child on a potty in a middle of the store is not a good thing to do. They had a toilet so you could have taken your DS there or taken him outside. You said you found a quiet place in clothing so presumably you didn't put him on the potty as soon as he asked. I have 3 DDs and when they were toddlers I used to carry the potty around with me. I was relaxed about putting them in it when they needed to go but would never put them on in a middle of a shop.
Bubble well done for coming back and taking it all on board. I had PND too. Definitely see your GP and get some meds if they think it necessary. They are amazing! And stick around here. For a "nest of vipers" these women don't half provide a lot of support and friendship.
We LOVE people who can take a good flaming with grace and a pleasant attitude.
I think you are a much liked member here already!
I got through pnd through exercise. And by help of a supportive husband who literally dragged me out of the house and on a bike. A shiny new bike he bought me in Halfords. I had not been on a bike for years.
We brought the baby monitor out on the green in front of our house, after dark, and dh ran next to me holding the bike steady as I wobbled on.
The weight started coming off, and my mood lifted by fresh air and exercise.
Bubble you are absolutely brilliant for taking the responses with such fantastic humour and grace. I'm so sorry to read that you are suffering with PND, I hope that you find the love and support here to be as great as it has been and is with so many on MN.
In my post yesterday I absolutely sided with Tesco on this, and I do, but also I suggested that he may not be ready if you are having to rely on stop immediately training IYSWIM. Set aside a few days and master it at home. I found with my four that when they were ready it was 2-3 days max. With my one DS the first time I tried training, by the 4th day it was clear he just wasn't ready to 'get' it, so I left it a month or so and then it was 2 days all sorted.
Good luck with everything. What a great sport!
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