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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Wees mastered, poos a disaster.

26 replies

babybythesea · 15/08/2011 19:57

Hello. I have spent the last week potty training my 2.5yo dd.

We had a big build up (she chose her knickers, and we had chats about when she wouldn't wear a nappy any more but could just wear knickers, she sat on the potty a few times, and on the toilet seat) and she was quite happy with the theory! Come to put it into practice, and for the first couple of days we have the expected accidents but she got the hang of weeing in the potty really quickly. If she's got nothing on her lower half she can take herself to the potty, and if she's wearing trousers or something she appears clutching herself and yells 'Oh no my bottom Mummy' - we will work on getting her to say 'I need a wee' next week!

However, she just poos wherever she is, and whatever she's wearing. She does tend towards the runs (GP says it's just an immature bowel and she'll grow out of it) and I know this will make things tricky. But she isn't even bothered if she poos in her knickers and walks round in it. Her bowel movements are erratic so there's no chance of me sitting her down at the same time each day and getting results - yesterday, she pooed at 10am ish, and that was it for the day. Today, she's dirtied either knickers or the floor three times, with the first one not coming until after lunch.

I don't know what to do. Each time I tell her that she needs to tell me next time and we'll see if we can get it in the potty, I ask her regularly if she needs to go, but we're just not getting anywhere. She had two showers today because it was all down her legs - she's got the wees sorted so putting her back in nappies would be a major backwards step but I can't take her out in case she poos herself - it is not easy and discrete to clean up. If she showed some concern that she was dirty I'd be happier as I'd feel we had a starting point, but she doesn't seem to care. Hates being wet and comes to me crying to have clean trousers, but dirty - not an issue.

Any ideas?

OP posts:

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p99gmb · 15/08/2011 21:46

Its only a week... poo's seem to be a much bigger issue for them...

I'm 3 weeks into potty training our 2.4yo.. wee's absolutely no problem, but like you, for the first 10 days or so poo's as and when and where he fancied.. or held them into his bedtime nappy... I didn't feel like we were getting anywhere...

Then, after ditching the night time nappy and going seriously cold turkey, lots of spare pants and wipes, we just bit the bullet...

Now all poos are in the potty or the preferred toilet... bare bums easy.. just working on the pants - but today for the first time he's stayed completely dry & clean !!! (yey)

I guess what I'm trying to say is that its sooo early days.. and your dd has done so well in just one week... I think it just takes them a little longer to let go and do a poo in the squatting position... are you sitting her on the toilet? (he loves waving bye to his poo now).. I wouldn't bother with pull ups - the first time or two they let go and actually do a poo in a potty will hopefully break the spell...

Keep positive and it'll happen...

Cwm · 15/08/2011 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diggingintheribs · 15/08/2011 21:55

you need to find the right bribe

ds was perfect with the wee in a few days but it took a few weeks for the poos. we found the right bribe (getting to watch an episode of his favourite show) and it seemed to focus his mind. sorted in 3 days

herbiegoesbananas · 15/08/2011 22:07

I seem to be having the same problem too. My dd is 2.5 yo and has been dry for about 2 and a half months or thereabouts. However poos are a disaster. She is simply not bothered when or where she does it - pants/bare bum/nappy/pull ups. We keep saying she can have sweets if she does one on the toilet or potty and as soon as she has done one whereever, the first thing she says is 'no sweets'. We also have some 'oopsy daisy' pants that we keep showing her and say she can wear once she has pooed on the toilet. We show them to her and big them up and she agrees they would be good to wear but they still sit clean in the drawer!! So there is definitely some understanding there.

Its getting a bit frustrating now any any help or advice would be much appreciated.

Original poster

babybythesea · 15/08/2011 22:29

I'm just glad it's not just us living in a poo-filled house!

Part of it was that I have been told by a lot of people that they master poos before wees, so I was a bit concerned that we had the wees sorted and no advances on the poos! But mainly, because she has the trots a lot of the time, the accidents are so damn unpleasant to clean up. It is nigh on impossible to get her clean without a dunk in the shower - if it were a case of removing a relatively solid mass from the pants and tipping it down the loo I could cope. It is all the rinsing the pants, trousers and possibly socks for ages to try and get the worst of it out, and the cleaning of her legs and feet, and the carpet or furniture (if it's like yesterday when she was just wearing knickers and had sat back on her heels and, transferred it to her socks and then smeared it everywhere - and she was only on her own for five minutes - just a bit wearing when it happens three or four times a day!

I won't worry too much yet since others seem to have the same problem - will try upping the bribe as a first stop. But will take comfort in the knowledge that it isn't just me and this is still well within the relams of normal. If disgusting!

OP posts:

Lozario · 16/08/2011 14:02

diggingintheribs did you let him watch the programme whilst on the potty doing the poo or as a reward after?

My DS is AWFUL about pooing, he holds it in terribly until we have a horrible day once every 4 or 5 days when he just cries on and off until he does it! He's 2.2yrs, haven't attempted potty training yet.

diggingintheribs · 16/08/2011 20:51

after the poo - but we had a potty within easy view at all times and he was a quick pooer!

2.2 is still young. DS was 2.3 and nursery told me they thought he was ready. i would have waited myself but it was fine.

maybe it is worth asking him if he wants to try and do a poo on the potty if you think it might encourage him to be more regular. also, make sure he is eating plenty of things that will loosen his stools and not much that won't (so no bananas or rice) and plenty of water. sounds like he could be a bit constipated?

mummyhappiness · 18/08/2011 13:51

I am 5 weeks into toilet training and still DS is only pooing in his pants. He has been dry and doing wees in the toilet for about 4 weeks.
I am normally good at (through gritted teeth) saying "it's okay, next time you tell mummy when you need to go and we will do it in the toilet".
This morning I lost it and ended up saying in an angry tone - "why don't you use the toilet, your a big boy now and don't need to keep doing it in your pants!!" He ended up in tears and I felt terrible!
So I can sympathise with all out there that are going through the same thing.
All I can hope is that my DS will eventually catch on to pooing in the toilet!

JJ1471 · 19/08/2011 21:49

We are going through exactly the same thing too...weeing in the toilet is fine but he will not do a poo, he only goes in his pants. We are about two weeks in with only one wee accident since the first week.

He has done poos in the potty in the past, in fact that was how we started with using the potty before we started proper potty training, so he is quite capable.

We have tried lots of bribes but it doesn't work.

I'm just hoping that it's a phase and he'll get there eventually. He tends to do one in the morning so if possible I wait for him to do one before we go out...

Glad to hear that we're not alone!

Mamadadude · 20/08/2011 18:34

Same problem here. DS is 3 and has been dry since May! I could even ditch the nappies at night if it weren't for the threat of random indiscriminate pooing! There is no regular bowel movement, he just squirts in his pants on and off all day. I can see him squat down and do it in his pants and he flatly refuses to allow me to sit him on the potty/toilet. It's become a battle of wills. I've tried bribing him with chocolate - he tells me he doesn't want any. I have a pant washing system down to a fine art (Milton for washing machine v. good). But I'm just so sick of it!!!! I'm thinking about letting him go bare-arsed for a bit to see what happens. Shame the weather's so , er, crap!

sevensevenseven · 21/08/2011 20:34

mamadadude I could have written your post. It's so frustrating especially as he's doing so well with wees. I'm expecting DC2 in December and really need this sorted by then!

feralgirl · 21/08/2011 20:54

Ah, what a relief to find you all. DS is getting about 75% of his wee into a potty, loo or hedge but saves up two day's worth of poo and then gets really really upset and takes about an hour to do it, refusing to use the loo or potty at all and demanding a nappy.

I could cope with it if he didn't get so terribly upset; we've been really laid-back about it and not told him off or anything but he just cries and cries and it's all very wearing. I am 38 weeks pg and I really don't want to be dealing with toddler and nb baby poo at the same time!

Mamadadude · 21/08/2011 22:39

Omg! Today was awful! Round a friend's house and he totally caked himself in poo. Had to ask to use the shower! This has to improve soon! Glad am not alone though! Wish someone would join the thread who's been through it and come out the other end.

scrappydappydoo · 21/08/2011 22:47

Mamadadude - I'm 8 mths into wees but no poos - driving me mad - she doesn't even bother to hold it in just everyday - pooey knickers :(

sevensevenseven · 21/08/2011 22:54

I've just ordered a reward chart off eBay, has to be worth a try. I'm not even sure whether he has a phobia of pooing on the potty or just doesn't have any bowel control yet, I just know I need to try something other than waiting until he's ready.

LargeGlassofRed · 21/08/2011 23:06

Only a week in with my twins,
yesterday had them both poo all over the floor at the same time then dt1 stood in his and walked it around the carpet. Dt2 picked his up and handed it me!
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse ds1 walked in and stood in it too.
Also had visitors who just looked on, in horror !

Mamadadude · 22/08/2011 10:38

Lol, LargeGlassofRed! At least Dt2 has something to hand to you. My DS's poo is like slurry! I've spoken to health visitor about toddler diarrhoea and have now taken him off apple juice, most fruit after breakfast time, brown bread etc and things did firm up a bit, but we are staying with in-laws and for the last two days he's had Fruit and Fibre for breakfast which could explain a few things!

GruffaloMama · 22/08/2011 14:08

LOL LGofRed (and i really needed the laugh). Came onto the topic as i was about to write the exact same post. DS is 10 days into potty training and brilliant at wees but poos... today he pooed at the park in his pants. I have a 4 week old daughter and wouldn't have picked now to do toilet training but he drove it... I have a suspicion I smell of poo. And terrified of going out as I can't deal with the idea of cleaning up a massive poo in the middle of Costa/Tesco/friends' immaculate houses...

CrunchybranMum · 26/08/2011 19:45

I am so glad that I looked at Mumsnet today. Have the same issue as many with DD who is doing well with wee (80% of the time on the loo) but poo's are always in her pants. She gets really upset when she's done it and despite rewards and constant reminders we are still not getting anywhere. We've been trying for 5 weeks now - any ideas?

hopskipandjump · 26/08/2011 20:40

This thread is giving me hope that I am not the only one. My DS - now 3 years 4 months started potty training 6 months ago. He seems to not be aware about poos! I am now starting to be a bit worried about him starting nursery attached to school in September. Any thoughts/views/ideas/long term potty training hugs would be welcome!!!

CrystalQueen · 27/08/2011 16:34

I'm glad I read this thread, it makes me feel better about my DD! We are in the same situation as everyone else here - DD is fine for pees but poos are a nightmare. We waited until quite late (she's 2.10) and she got the hang of peeing on the potty straight away. But she has been holding her poo in and now has a "sore boffim".

bessie26 · 27/08/2011 22:43

We started potty training DD1 a couple of weeks ago. Wees no problem, got a few poos in there too in the first week so I was really chuffed, but hasn't been so good the second week.

She's always been a once-a-day kind of girl. Almost always after lunch, but this week it was 4 days before it came out! I thought that as she's still wearing nappies for her afternoon nap & at nighttime she'd just do them then, but perhaps the problem is more to do with actually doing them rather than doing them in the potty?

She knows she will get a special Peppa pig hologram style sticker if she gets one in the potty (she got 3 the first week) and repeatedly assures me that she will do one "later". I'm just worried she's going to hold it in so long, she'll make herself constipated & then it will be a horrible scary poo & it will just get worse & worse... Do you think I should up the bribery or just feed her some prunes?

needstosleepmore · 05/09/2011 19:48

I came on here to post the same thing. My DD (2.5) has been potty training for about 3 weeks now and is doing well with wees but constantly poos in her knickers! She has done some poos on the potty/toilet so i know she can do it and she gets lots of praise etc but 9 times out of 10 she poos in her knickers.

It's made me feel better i'm not alone in this but wish i knew how to help her.

Kessernags · 07/09/2011 06:54

I started training my son in April and we are still having pooey pants but it wouldn't be such a big issue if he didnt have to start pre-school in five days and has to be "clean". I am at the end of my tether and I am sure he won't be allowed to start. Since April we have had three poos in the toilet so he can do it, he is just refusing too. He hides to do it so he knows it wrong. What am I going to do?

stripedcat · 07/09/2011 21:36

I am there with you Kessernags. I have been potty training since Feb! Exactly the same - he starts nursery attached to the school tomorrow. I phoned the nursery teacher as I was so worried today - she said not to worry thank goodness! I feel (as I am sure you do) I am in for the long haul on this - it is 7 months now in pants!!!

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